stuck (lyrics, Nickelback, Kiss, track, show)

deep_and_depressing · 01-13-2009, 08:16 PM

HOLY S*** I'M JEALOUS!!! I can't use the original anymore... I've been beat... I have no talent anyways oh well.

Arya Stark · 01-14-2009, 10:40 AM

Smile and while?

Something like that?

Ace · 01-17-2009, 03:25 AM

She's shy and self-conscious
not ready to come out
but I'll sit her down and say
we've got a lot to talk about

That's the only part worth keeping.
Learn from that part and rewrite the rest using the same structure.

Arya Stark · 01-17-2009, 04:19 PM

Really? I think it's a tad corny sounding. My favorite part is:

Quote:

You are my life's ambition
and I've been waiting for you to
save me from myself

Ace · 01-18-2009, 02:32 AM

...and that isn't corny?

Arya Stark · 01-18-2009, 08:07 PM

>.< I still like it. =[

Ace · 01-19-2009, 02:22 AM

On another note, his lyrics remind me of a horrid new song off of Nickelback's latest album.

I think the lyrics are;

"I'd come for you
No one, but you
Yes, I'd come for you
But only if you want me to"

Something tells me he probably had this stuck in his head as he was writing.
Listen to the song "I'd Come For You".......I bet you will agree with me.

Arya Stark · 01-21-2009, 10:32 AM

Oh goodness.

My ex-drummer is obsessed with that band.

FaSho · 01-21-2009, 10:37 AM

I liked:

Quote:

I want to meet her today
an alibi for my sins
riding shotgun on my hell-bound
life
keeping me on track along the way

And hated:

Quote:

She's shy and self-conscious
not ready to come out
but I'll sit her down and say
we've got a lot to talk about

I won't give up
I won't stop
dreaming
waiting
for her to walk
into my life
she's all I'm thinking
about she makes me feel
alright
she will complete me
make me happy
I will see her
make it snappy
before she gets away

If your turning this into a song, replacing that with a chorus would be good. Overall though it wasn't that bad.

Ace · 01-22-2009, 12:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xxawwxsugarxx

Oh goodness.

My ex-drummer is obsessed with that band.

I love the band, myself.
I despise alot of their really poppy and cheesey songs like that one, though.

01-13-2009, 08:16 PM	#41 (permalink)
deep_and_depressing Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 73	HOLY S*** I'M JEALOUS!!! I can't use the original anymore... I've been beat... I have no talent anyways oh well. __________________ My life was like a fairytale . . . Except I left Mr. Charming for his sister

01-14-2009, 10:40 AM	#42 (permalink)
Arya Stark "Hermione-Lite" Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: New York. Posts: 3,084	Smile and while? Something like that?

01-18-2009, 08:07 PM	#46 (permalink)
Arya Stark "Hermione-Lite" Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: New York. Posts: 3,084	>.< I still like it. =[

01-21-2009, 10:32 AM	#48 (permalink)
Arya Stark "Hermione-Lite" Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: New York. Posts: 3,084	Oh goodness. My ex-drummer is obsessed with that band.