Schizotypic

I picked-up the guitar in my room, and I was feeling OK about finally teaching myself but now I'm just plain out pissed off.

It's telling me to position my hand like this:
C MAJOR Guitar Chord Fingering

Problem is my hand doesn't seem to be physically even able to do that, I suppose on second thought they don't expect my middle finger and index finger to be totally perfect right on apart from each other, but to do it just how they say it is so difficult! How much time will it take to train my fingers to do this crap? IS there a surgical procedure to make my fingers longer and skinnier? I know the guy in the picture has his middle still pressing against his index, but still, holy ****. >=