The English Football Thread

Urban Hat€monger ? · 03-04-2006, 11:00 AM

Swindon vs Tranmere was postponed today but the pools panel called it a home win.

Can we have 3 points for that please

cheers

Urban Hat€monger ? · 03-06-2006, 01:06 PM

I`m thinking of sending this to Sunderland........

Dear Bob Murray

I am writing to apply for the vacancy of first team manager of Sunderland Football club.
My football experience involves sitting on my arse with a tub of pringles shouting at the television for John Motson to shut the f*ck up. Sadly I do not own any UEFA coaching badges however I do own a badge of the popular beat combo The Strokes that the nice girl at the record store gave me the last time I went shopping in there that I am sure would impress the bigwigs at UEFA.
My tactics would involve playing the 11-0-0 formation , my idea being that we would just load up the goal with 11 fat blokes thus not allowing the opposition to score.It wouldn`t be pretty but everybody knows you can`t play attractive football when relegation is involved.
Sadly I have no experience in the transfer market but as i`ll be buggering off once you go down I don`t really see that as a problem.The way I see it you may as well pay me 20 grand a week knowing full well you are going down than pay a real manager 30 grand a week for the same result.
I could easily win over the your fan base , rather than posing at the ground in front of the press with a Sunderland scarf I figured I could always go into the centre circle of the Stadium of Light with a Newcastle shirt and take a huge dump on it.I`m sure that would get the fans on my side.

All the best

Mr U Hatemonger

P.S. I was thinking of taking the players away to boost moral , I was thinking of going to Barbados for an inter team volleyball tournament. I hear Gary Breen is good at it.

right-track · 03-06-2006, 01:42 PM

I used to make a point of applying for managers jobs everytime one came up...just for the laugh.
You'd be surprised how many reply's you get.
I stuck them up at work...all on official club headed letters...I had loads of them.
Even got an England letter you should try it mate.
The boss used to give me a few strange looks though.

Urban Hat€monger ? · 03-06-2006, 02:55 PM

Right Track for England manager

Urban Hat€monger ? · 03-07-2006, 03:45 PM

Chelsea

DontRunMeOver · 03-07-2006, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by right-track

I used to make a point of applying for managers jobs everytime one came up...just for the laugh.
You'd be surprised how many reply's you get.
I stuck them up at work...all on official club headed letters...I had loads of them.
Even got an England letter you should try it mate.
The boss used to give me a few strange looks though.

That's hilarious, what did you put on your manager's CV?

"Won 5 consecutive Champion's Leagues with Halifax Town (on championship manager)"

adidasss · 03-07-2006, 04:20 PM

so who won tonight?

right-track · 03-07-2006, 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adidasss

so who won tonight?

Chelsea lost 1-1.

adidasss · 03-07-2006, 04:27 PM

so barcelona got through? hehehehe.....

Urban Hat€monger ? · 03-08-2006, 03:43 PM

This is going to be really hard for me..........

Wow what a game , best 0 : 0 draw i`ve seen in a long long time
Arsenal totally deserved to go through.

EDIT: gotta love football365.com

Champions Make An Arse Of It
English representation in the Champions League came to an end tonight as Liverpool were knocked out by Benfica and David Beckham's Madrid were knocked out by French side Arsenal. That can't be good for English World Cup confidence, can it?

03-04-2006, 11:00 AM	#331 (permalink)
Urban Hat€monger ? The Sexual Intellectual Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Somewhere cooler than you Posts: 18,605	Swindon vs Tranmere was postponed today but the pools panel called it a home win. Can we have 3 points for that please cheers __________________ Urb's RYM Stuff Most people sell their soul to the devil, but the devil sells his soul to Nick Cave.

03-06-2006, 01:06 PM	#332 (permalink)
Urban Hat€monger ? The Sexual Intellectual Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Somewhere cooler than you Posts: 18,605	I`m thinking of sending this to Sunderland........ Dear Bob Murray I am writing to apply for the vacancy of first team manager of Sunderland Football club. My football experience involves sitting on my arse with a tub of pringles shouting at the television for John Motson to shut the fck up. Sadly I do not own any UEFA coaching badges however I do own a badge of the popular beat combo The Strokes that the nice girl at the record store gave me the last time I went shopping in there that I am sure would impress the bigwigs at UEFA. My tactics would involve playing the 11-0-0 formation , my idea being that we would just load up the goal with 11 fat blokes thus not allowing the opposition to score.It wouldn`t be pretty but everybody knows you can`t play attractive football when relegation is involved. Sadly I have no experience in the transfer market but as i`ll be buggering off once you go down I don`t really see that as a problem.The way I see it you may as well pay me 20 grand a week knowing full well you are going down than pay a real manager 30 grand a week for the same result. I could easily win over the your fan base , rather than posing at the ground in front of the press with a Sunderland scarf I figured I could always go into the centre circle of the Stadium of Light with a Newcastle shirt and take a huge dump on it.I`m sure that would get the fans on my side. All the best Mr U Hatemonger P.S. I was thinking of taking the players away to boost moral , I was thinking of going to Barbados for an inter team volleyball tournament. I hear Gary Breen is good at it. __________________ Urb's RYM Stuff Most people sell their soul to the devil, but the devil sells his soul to Nick Cave.*

03-06-2006, 02:55 PM	#334 (permalink)
Urban Hat€monger ? The Sexual Intellectual Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Somewhere cooler than you Posts: 18,605	Right Track for England manager __________________ Urb's RYM Stuff Most people sell their soul to the devil, but the devil sells his soul to Nick Cave.

03-07-2006, 03:45 PM	#335 (permalink)
Urban Hat€monger ? The Sexual Intellectual Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Somewhere cooler than you Posts: 18,605	Chelsea __________________ Urb's RYM Stuff Most people sell their soul to the devil, but the devil sells his soul to Nick Cave.

03-07-2006, 04:20 PM	#337 (permalink)
adidasss Slavic gay sauce Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Abu Dhabi Posts: 7,993	so who won tonight? __________________ “Think of what a paradise this world would be if men were kind and wise.” - Kurt Vonnegut, Cat's Cradle. Last.fm

03-06-2006, 01:42 PM	#333 (permalink)
right-track Atchin' Akai Join Date: May 2005 Location: Unamerica Posts: 8,723	I used to make a point of applying for managers jobs everytime one came up...just for the laugh. You'd be surprised how many reply's you get. I stuck them up at work...all on official club headed letters...I had loads of them. Even got an England letter you should try it mate. The boss used to give me a few strange looks though.

03-07-2006, 04:27 PM	#339 (permalink)
adidasss Slavic gay sauce Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Abu Dhabi Posts: 7,993	so barcelona got through? hehehehe..... __________________ “Think of what a paradise this world would be if men were kind and wise.” - Kurt Vonnegut, Cat's Cradle. Last.fm

03-08-2006, 03:43 PM	#340 (permalink)
Urban Hat€monger ? The Sexual Intellectual Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Somewhere cooler than you Posts: 18,605	This is going to be really hard for me.......... Wow what a game , best 0 : 0 draw i`ve seen in a long long time Arsenal totally deserved to go through. EDIT: gotta love football365.com Champions Make An Arse Of It English representation in the Champions League came to an end tonight as Liverpool were knocked out by Benfica and David Beckham's Madrid were knocked out by French side Arsenal. That can't be good for English World Cup confidence, can it? __________________ Urb's RYM Stuff Most people sell their soul to the devil, but the devil sells his soul to Nick Cave.