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Old 08-05-2023, 07:21 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Is The Hurt Song that I wrote a good song? :)

I wrote this song while writing about a Fictional Music band. One of the Band Members tried to sell out their Manager for $5,000, :O one Band Member had sex with his Bandmate's girlfriend, ouch! :O

I wonder if this song, which I aptly called,"The Hurt Song, is a good song.



You really hurt me. I loved you like a Brother and you stabbed me in my heart. The betrayal I feel from you is soul crushing. I thought you loved me. I would never have done the unspeakable betrayal you did to me. It's always loved ones betrayal that hurts the most. This would have hurt badly if a complete stranger had done this to me, but YOU? NO! NO! NO! How could you do it? I trusted you, I lived with you, I willingly ate food and drank drinks you gave me without a moment's hesitation. The pain I feel over this is unbearable.



This hurts, this hurts real bad. Betrayal of a brother.



I would have done anything for you. I would have laid my life on the line to save yours. I would have given you my last penny if you really needed it. I'm not so sure you would have done the same thing for me after this dastardly thing you did to me. We were Friends and Brothers. How could you? How could you?



This hurts, this hurts real bad. The betrayal of a Brother.



I sometimes wonder if I should have ever met you. Had I never met you, I wouldn't be in this tortured pain right now.



This hurts, this hurts real bad. The betrayal of a Brother."

Last edited by Karice; 08-05-2023 at 08:18 PM.
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Old 02-19-2025, 03:16 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Old 02-19-2025, 09:11 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Is there music for it? If so, can you post a recording of it?
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Old 02-22-2025, 08:44 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Having read the lyrics above, they seem kind of pedestrian to me. That's not to say those kinds of feelings don't deserve to be expressed. I'd certainly agree they do. If you're of an artistic nature and someone has hurt you badly, it seems only natural to want to put your feelings in writing and work them out that way. ...However, the person who wrote those lyrics didn't do it in what I'd consider a very artful or thought provoking way. I expect a little more from my music and song lyrics - imagery, symbolism, a moving or meaningful turn of phrase. I don't get any of that from the lyrics above. Therefore: pedestrian. He could have worked a whole lot harder on those lyrics and come up with something better, but I'd guess that's not this lyric writer's forte and most of the other songs this person writes are pedestrian, too.
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Old 02-22-2025, 11:23 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruby Slipper View Post
Having read the lyrics above, they seem kind of pedestrian to me. That's not to say those kinds of feelings don't deserve to be expressed. I'd certainly agree they do. If you're of an artistic nature and someone has hurt you badly, it seems only natural to want to put your feelings in writing and work them out that way. ...However, the person who wrote those lyrics didn't do it in what I'd consider a very artful or thought provoking way. I expect a little more from my music and song lyrics - imagery, symbolism, a moving or meaningful turn of phrase. I don't get any of that from the lyrics above. Therefore: pedestrian. He could have worked a whole lot harder on those lyrics and come up with something better, but I'd guess that's not this lyric writer's forte and most of the other songs this person writes are pedestrian, too.
I get what you're saying. It definitely feels like the lyrics could've used more depth or creativity. Sometimes, the raw emotion comes through, but without the extra layer of artistry, it can come across as a bit flat. I guess it depends on what you're looking for in music sometimes simple works, but other times you want something that really makes you think.
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