Ori's beautiful poetry

Oriphiel · 11-30-2017, 01:52 AM

Some people write poems about stuff without grit,
puppys, sunsets, that kind of shit.

Others write about 'the darkness within',
whiny little bitches who've forgotten how to grin.

Well, I like to write about tits and explosions,
because honestly, those inspire the best of emotions.

Although maybe I do comedy and act cool and punny
only because everything I write turns out funny.

I tried to write Tragedy, a new Hamlet, real sick,
but in my version, Hamlet just gave Ophelia the dick.
In like a day, his fat ass uncle ate himself to death, twas a mad ting,
and then Hamlet was like "lol", and stepped up to become the new king.
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern stayed home and tag teamed a hooker,
while Polonius finally shut up, and played himself some snooker.
Fortinbras fucked a snowman, or whatever they do in Norway,
or wherever it was that loser came from anyway.

So I turned to MacBeth, to see what I could do,
and MacBeth ended up giving the witches his brew.
Instead of trying to be king, he just settled for getting laid,
and so there was no debt, in blood, fate demanded to be paid.
His crazy ass wife just lit a fucking roach,
and chilled the fuck out before on his honor she could encroach.

My version of Othello didn't fare much better,
Desdemona blew up Iago, then put his ashes in a letter,
mailed that shit to Iago's wife,
and told that bitch to move on with her life.
Sorry, Emelia, but your boy was a shit can.
Next time you wanna get hitched, get thee to a real man.

I tried writing an original, to get how Tragedy jives,
about a guy with as many cocks as a cat has lives,
but he couldn't jerk off, since his fingers were knives.

So, yeah. Like knife guy, I just couldn't cut it,
so I said "Fuck it,"
and now here I am,
writing while eating ham,
at 2:30 in the morning,
what the fuck even is my life?

RiPS · 11-30-2017, 02:14 AM

Beautiful.

rostasi · 11-30-2017, 08:23 AM

Original.

OccultHawk · 11-30-2017, 08:34 AM

Quote:

In like a day, his fat ass uncle ate himself to death, twas a mad ting,
and then Hamlet was like "lol", and stepped up to become the new king.

The rhythm was rocking until this line. From here on, I can’t figure out the cadence and ****.

Oriphiel · 11-30-2017, 08:56 AM

Just wait till I crank the Cadence Clearwater Revival.

Mindy · 11-30-2017, 05:40 PM

cool

rubber soul · 12-01-2017, 03:56 AM

One of my characters in my journal (haven't gotten to her chapter yet) would have appreciated your poem. Either that or she would have called you an Anti-Semite for the Rosencrantz and Guildenstern line.

GunmouthGrace · 12-01-2017, 06:44 PM

.

SoundboardTerrorSquad · 12-01-2017, 10:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oriphiel

Well, I like to write about tits and explosions,
because honestly, those inspire the best of emotions

i liked the whole poem but this^ is definitely my favorite line

Oriphiel · 02-01-2018, 08:38 PM

In the Beginning

God made man, and gave him a crank with which to diddle,
and to the women he gave lasagna, after punching it in the middle.

11-30-2017, 01:52 AM	#1 (permalink)
Oriphiel Ask me how! Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: The States Posts: 5,354	Ori's beautiful poetry Some people write poems about stuff without grit, puppys, sunsets, that kind of shit. Others write about 'the darkness within', whiny little bitches who've forgotten how to grin. Well, I like to write about tits and explosions, because honestly, those inspire the best of emotions. Although maybe I do comedy and act cool and punny only because everything I write turns out funny. I tried to write Tragedy, a new Hamlet, real sick, but in my version, Hamlet just gave Ophelia the dick. In like a day, his fat ass uncle ate himself to death, twas a mad ting, and then Hamlet was like "lol", and stepped up to become the new king. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern stayed home and tag teamed a hooker, while Polonius finally shut up, and played himself some snooker. Fortinbras fucked a snowman, or whatever they do in Norway, or wherever it was that loser came from anyway. So I turned to MacBeth, to see what I could do, and MacBeth ended up giving the witches his brew. Instead of trying to be king, he just settled for getting laid, and so there was no debt, in blood, fate demanded to be paid. His crazy ass wife just lit a fucking roach, and chilled the fuck out before on his honor she could encroach. My version of Othello didn't fare much better, Desdemona blew up Iago, then put his ashes in a letter, mailed that shit to Iago's wife, and told that bitch to move on with her life. Sorry, Emelia, but your boy was a shit can. Next time you wanna get hitched, get thee to a real man. I tried writing an original, to get how Tragedy jives, about a guy with as many cocks as a cat has lives, but he couldn't jerk off, since his fingers were knives. So, yeah. Like knife guy, I just couldn't cut it, so I said "Fuck it," and now here I am, writing while eating ham, at 2:30 in the morning, what the fuck even is my life? __________________ ---------------------- \|---Mic's Albums---\| ---------------------- ----------------------------- \|---Deafbox Industries---\| -----------------------------

11-30-2017, 08:56 AM	#5 (permalink)
Oriphiel Ask me how! Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: The States Posts: 5,354	Just wait till I crank the Cadence Clearwater Revival. __________________ ---------------------- \|---Mic's Albums---\| ---------------------- ----------------------------- \|---Deafbox Industries---\| -----------------------------

11-30-2017, 05:40 PM	#6 (permalink)
Mindy ask me about cosmology Join Date: Oct 2016 Location: Milky Way Galaxy Posts: 9,029	cool __________________ https://www.instagram.com/shhons_meme_agency

12-01-2017, 06:44 PM	#8 (permalink)
GunmouthGrace blah Join Date: Nov 2017 Location: Earth Posts: 327	. Last edited by GunmouthGrace; 07-10-2022 at 05:37 PM.

02-01-2018, 08:38 PM	#10 (permalink)
Oriphiel Ask me how! Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: The States Posts: 5,354	In the Beginning God made man, and gave him a crank with which to diddle, and to the women he gave lasagna, after punching it in the middle. __________________ ---------------------- \|---Mic's Albums---\| ---------------------- ----------------------------- \|---Deafbox Industries---\| -----------------------------

11-30-2017, 02:14 AM	#2 (permalink)
RiPS Nein, Danke. Join Date: Dec 2014 Location: Japan Posts: 123	Beautiful.

11-30-2017, 08:23 AM	#3 (permalink)
rostasi . Join Date: Aug 2012 Posts: 4,007	Original.