rate 4 lines... more to it, however, can't give it all away - Music Banter Music Banter

Go Back   Music Banter > Artists Corner > Song Writing, Lyrics and Poetry
rate 4 lines... more to it, however, can't give it all away rate 4 lines... more to it, however, can't give it all away
Register Blogging Today's Posts
Welcome to Music Banter Forum! Make sure to register - it's free and very quick! You have to register before you can post and participate in our discussions with over 70,000 other registered members. After you create your free account, you will be able to customize many options, you will have the full access to over 1,100,000 posts.

Reply
Page 2 of 5 1 2 34 Last »
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 06-15-2016, 06:30 PM   #11 (permalink)
OQB
 
Ol’ Qwerty Bastard's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Frownland
Posts: 8,831
Default
Quote:
Originally Posted by pansy gayboy 69 View Post
there.
Aren't we all? I thought that's what this site was for.
__________________
Music Blog / RYM / Last.fm / Qwertyy's Journal of Music Reviews and Other Assorted Ramblings

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Batlord View Post
I'm not even mad. Seriously I'm not. You're a good dude, and I think and hope you'll become something good
Ol’ Qwerty Bastard is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-15-2016, 06:32 PM   #12 (permalink)
kibbeh
 
kibbeh's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2016
Location: nowhere
Posts: 648
Default
Quote:
Originally Posted by Qwertyy View Post
Aren't we all? I thought that's what this site was for.
i know i am
kibbeh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-16-2016, 12:52 PM   #13 (permalink)
Groupie
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 13
Default
I'm shocked, no major criticism?
WhyBanhammer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-16-2016, 04:26 PM   #14 (permalink)
Mord
 
Zhanteimi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Tokyo
Posts: 4,873
Default
What do you want us to say? That "eyes sinking" is, at best, a sloppy metaphor?
__________________
Zhanteimi

LetsTalkMusic
Zhanteimi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-16-2016, 08:47 PM   #15 (permalink)
Groupie
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 13
Default
Quote:
Originally Posted by mordwyr View Post
What do you want us to say? That "eyes sinking" is, at best, a sloppy metaphor?
Then you'd just be digging to be a critic...
WhyBanhammer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-16-2016, 09:00 PM   #16 (permalink)
Mord
 
Zhanteimi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Tokyo
Posts: 4,873
Default
Digging?
__________________
Zhanteimi

LetsTalkMusic
Zhanteimi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-16-2016, 10:03 PM   #17 (permalink)
Groupie
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 13
Default
Quote:
Originally Posted by mordwyr View Post
Digging?
Because, obviously nobody has had anything negative to say. So it couldn't be that bad... I guess it's not much to rate.. Now if you were able to explain how it's a bad metaphor and how it could improve I might just believe you.
WhyBanhammer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-16-2016, 10:23 PM   #18 (permalink)
Mate, Spawn & Die
 
Janszoon's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: The Rapping Community
Posts: 24,593
Default
It's amazing writing. Truly Fred Durst level poetry.
Janszoon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-16-2016, 10:53 PM   #19 (permalink)
Zum Henker Defätist!!
 
The Batlord's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Beating GNR at DDR and keying Axl's new car
Posts: 48,199
Default
Quote:
Originally Posted by WhyBanhammer View Post
Because, obviously nobody has had anything negative to say. So it couldn't be that bad... I guess it's not much to rate.. Now if you were able to explain how it's a bad metaphor and how it could improve I might just believe you.
Because nobody cares enough to comment then it must be good?
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien
There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
The Batlord is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-17-2016, 12:06 AM   #20 (permalink)
Mord
 
Zhanteimi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Tokyo
Posts: 4,873
Default
Quote:
Originally Posted by WhyBanhammer View Post
Maybe your mind will change,
or I'll watch you bleed
The "maybe" doesn't make any sense. It'd be better if you cut "maybe", but it will still suck.

Quote:
Originally Posted by WhyBanhammer View Post
And maybe your eyes will sink,
Before you breathe
The "maybe" at least makes sense here, but then it's followed by an eyes sinking metaphor. I just see eyeballs sinking in the water. Not only is that a nonsensical metaphor, but I think eyeballs float. Could be wrong. Can anyone confirm this?

Quote:
Originally Posted by WhyBanhammer View Post
Maybe your mind will fail,
before you care
Like, as in senility? So the singer is dating an old woman?

Quote:
Originally Posted by WhyBanhammer View Post
And maybe you're just hard to take...
That's what she said.
__________________
Zhanteimi

LetsTalkMusic
Zhanteimi is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Page 2 of 5 1 2 34 Last »

« Previous Thread | Next Thread »

Similar Threads


Terms & Privacy - Contact Us - Music Banter - Archive - Top

© 2003-2024 Advameg, Inc.