Are these lyrics any good?

grindy · 01-21-2016, 08:29 AM

I'm not sure how the actual grammatical rules are, or whether there really are any, but it sounds wrong to use nouns without articles the way you do at times. Your English is very good otherwise though.

Here's a correction:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angel3010

New lyrics, this time about memories

BRIDGE

As I'm walking on the bridge
I see memories floating down the river
I see pictures of my past
Floating down the river
But I'm standing on the bridge safe
On the bridge I made myself
It keeps me from falling
Into the abyss of oblivion
That bridge binds my memories
Keeps them close to me

The river can't be tamed
It will wash away everything that falls in
It just won't stop running
Oblivion won't forgive
So I'm standing here on the bridge
Watching the wild river
We're just a flash in time
But some things last for centuries
Try to stay still in the river
Like a stone

Angel3010 · 01-21-2016, 08:34 AM

Thanks about correction

Yeah, English is not my first language so I sometimes forget to put articles.

Angel3010 · 02-08-2016, 02:43 AM

My new lyrics, I believe many of you can relate. Song is short and repetive for a reason, it describes routine better that way.

GREY ROUTINE

Waking up
Getting up
Making coffe
Eating breakfast
Brushing teeth
Getting dressed
Going out

As I'm driveing through the maze if grey buildings
I'm listening to the radio
Traffic is huge
Traffic lights are grey
All I see is grey
Grey sky is weeping
Cleaning soul of the city
People are in hurry to get nowhere
They are starring at their phones

All I see is grey, grey grey
Routine is killing me
Everything repeats over and over
I'm waiting for colours to shine me

x3

Angel3010 · 04-11-2017, 01:16 PM

I'm about to make my first song called On the floor. I'd love to hear some feedback.

ON THE FLOOR

Lying on the floor
Looking up above
I imagine how does sky look like
Chained to the past
Unable to move
I imagine how does sky look like

And when night falls
I hear desperate calls
Of ones I used to know
Heroes that I saw

(chorus)
Dancing on the floor
Wanting more and more
Embrace shadows
Standing all alone
Stage is gone
Embrace shadows
Dancing on the floor
Losing more and more

Faking all the joy
Dreaming all the time
I imagine how does sky look like
Locked in a room
Wrongly understood
I imagine how does sky look like

Like puppet on the strings
With broken wings
I look for better days
On unexplored ways

(chorus x2)
Dancing on the floor
Wanting more and more
Embrace shadows
Standing all alone
Stage is gone
Embrace shadows
Dancing on the floor
Losing more and more

01-21-2016, 08:34 AM	#12 (permalink)
Angel3010 Groupie Join Date: Dec 2015 Posts: 39	Thanks about correction Yeah, English is not my first language so I sometimes forget to put articles.

02-08-2016, 02:43 AM	#13 (permalink)
Angel3010 Groupie Join Date: Dec 2015 Posts: 39	My new lyrics, I believe many of you can relate. Song is short and repetive for a reason, it describes routine better that way. GREY ROUTINE Waking up Getting up Making coffe Eating breakfast Brushing teeth Getting dressed Going out As I'm driveing through the maze if grey buildings I'm listening to the radio Traffic is huge Traffic lights are grey All I see is grey Grey sky is weeping Cleaning soul of the city People are in hurry to get nowhere They are starring at their phones All I see is grey, grey grey Routine is killing me Everything repeats over and over I'm waiting for colours to shine me x3

04-11-2017, 01:16 PM	#14 (permalink)
Angel3010 Groupie Join Date: Dec 2015 Posts: 39	I'm about to make my first song called On the floor. I'd love to hear some feedback. ON THE FLOOR Lying on the floor Looking up above I imagine how does sky look like Chained to the past Unable to move I imagine how does sky look like And when night falls I hear desperate calls Of ones I used to know Heroes that I saw (chorus) Dancing on the floor Wanting more and more Embrace shadows Standing all alone Stage is gone Embrace shadows Dancing on the floor Losing more and more Faking all the joy Dreaming all the time I imagine how does sky look like Locked in a room Wrongly understood I imagine how does sky look like Like puppet on the strings With broken wings I look for better days On unexplored ways (chorus x2) Dancing on the floor Wanting more and more Embrace shadows Standing all alone Stage is gone Embrace shadows Dancing on the floor Losing more and more