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07-18-2005, 01:58 PM
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#1 (permalink) |
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Music Addict
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Oxford. Woo yeah. Ehem.
Posts: 58
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Don't pass me by.
Written today about my current confusselments. Let me know what you think...?
How can I keep trying, When you never let me in? How can I start to make things right, When there's nowhere to begin? Don't pass me by, Don't pass me by, Don't let me go... How can you pretend to listen, To every word I say? How can you forget it all, The next day? Don't pass me by, Don't pass me by, Don't let me go... How can we look, Into each others eyes? How can we take, All each others lies? Don't pass me by, Don't pass me by, Don't let me go... How can I say you're mine, When you never say I'm yours? How can I say I don't need you, When I'm in love with all your flaws? Don't pass me by, Don't pass me by, Don't let me go... How can you not know, The way I feel? How can you go on, Like this isn't real? Don't pass me by, Don't pass me by, Don't let me go... How could we think, We should be apart? How could we think, We don't need each others heart? You're passing me by, You're letting me go, You're passing me by, You're letting me go. Keep me together.
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I never wanted to love you, but that's okay... I always knew that you'd leave me anyway. You're treading on awfully thin ice darling, it's so awfully thin. It's almost turning to water, as we speak. *~~#You.Are.Too.Far.Gone.^'||¬.
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07-20-2005, 11:02 PM
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#3 (permalink) | |
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ghettochik
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 80
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Quote:
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07-22-2005, 03:28 AM
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#5 (permalink) |
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Music Addict
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Oxford. Woo yeah. Ehem.
Posts: 58
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In what way is it sick?
__________________
I never wanted to love you, but that's okay... I always knew that you'd leave me anyway. You're treading on awfully thin ice darling, it's so awfully thin. It's almost turning to water, as we speak. *~~#You.Are.Too.Far.Gone.^'||¬.
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07-22-2005, 02:15 PM
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#6 (permalink) |
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Music Addict
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: DC
Posts: 3,320
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You repeat the line
"Don't pass me by, Don't pass me by, Don't let me go..." far too much. It loses its power. Also, the rhyming seems trite. Don't stop writing by any means, but put some variance into it.
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One note timeless, came out of nowhere... |
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07-24-2005, 04:01 PM
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#7 (permalink) | |
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Atchin' Akai
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Unamerica
Posts: 8,723
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Quote:
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07-25-2005, 03:14 PM
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#9 (permalink) |
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Music Addict
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Oxford. Woo yeah. Ehem.
Posts: 58
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Erm, okay...
Thanks for your comments.
__________________
I never wanted to love you, but that's okay... I always knew that you'd leave me anyway. You're treading on awfully thin ice darling, it's so awfully thin. It's almost turning to water, as we speak. *~~#You.Are.Too.Far.Gone.^'||¬.
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