This Pain

88rtsn · 06-21-2015, 10:37 PM

Hello,

i just wrote this after registering too the site. for a but of fun.
critique is more than welcome....

Best Regards,

Brian,

"This Pain"
©2015 Brian Eggertsen, All Rights Reserved.

i have been sitting here
for a while now,
tryna clear out my mind
but don't know how!
i got so many thoughts
chasing ideas,
that my head's begun too
feel kinda weird.

it's been creeping up on me,
almost everyday - lately.
even the dimmest of light,
creates terror if it reaches my eye...

This pain,
has become
the worst sorta friend.
This pain,
cannot hide
it's criminal intent.
over
& again,
i'm loosing at this game.
it's strange,
i actually
thought i won but then,
This Pain
This Pain
again.

i have been laying here
for too long now,
tryna relax in silence
but i have my doubts.
spent 3-3rd's of my day
flat on my back,
hoping for a tomorrow
better than that.

it's been creeping up on me,
almost everyday - lately.
even the dimmest of light,
creates terror if it reaches my eye...

Repeat Chorus:

i'm barely holding
on with the tip of my nails.
it's like the universe
wants me too fail.
but i'm not giving in,
or letting go without a fight.
go ahead, take your biggest bite....

Repeat Chorus:

**Janszoon** · 06-21-2015, 10:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 88rtsn

for a but of fun.

The best measurement of fun there is.

melanieannemusic · 08-14-2015, 06:24 AM

It'a very sad, but I like it! I really like the line of "spend three thirds of my day flat on my back." Very artistically put.

06-21-2015, 10:37 PM	#1 (permalink)
88rtsn Groupie Join Date: Jun 2015 Posts: 2	This Pain Hello, i just wrote this after registering too the site. for a but of fun. critique is more than welcome.... Best Regards, Brian, "This Pain" ©2015 Brian Eggertsen, All Rights Reserved. i have been sitting here for a while now, tryna clear out my mind but don't know how! i got so many thoughts chasing ideas, that my head's begun too feel kinda weird. it's been creeping up on me, almost everyday - lately. even the dimmest of light, creates terror if it reaches my eye... This pain, has become the worst sorta friend. This pain, cannot hide it's criminal intent. over & again, i'm loosing at this game. it's strange, i actually thought i won but then, This Pain This Pain again. i have been laying here for too long now, tryna relax in silence but i have my doubts. spent 3-3rd's of my day flat on my back, hoping for a tomorrow better than that. it's been creeping up on me, almost everyday - lately. even the dimmest of light, creates terror if it reaches my eye... Repeat Chorus: i'm barely holding on with the tip of my nails. it's like the universe wants me too fail. but i'm not giving in, or letting go without a fight. go ahead, take your biggest bite.... Repeat Chorus:

08-14-2015, 06:24 AM	#3 (permalink)
melanieannemusic Groupie Join Date: Aug 2015 Posts: 3	It'a very sad, but I like it! I really like the line of "spend three thirds of my day flat on my back." Very artistically put.