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eqoatl 01-06-2015 05:19 PM

A poem about romance..
 
a golden silence
just before breath
just before i break your heart
'but your heart was never mine to break'
is this what we make of love?
the ability to hurt another?
we are thinking of loving,
always missing the mark
like a compliment at a funeral
love is said to be here
is it in the eyes that no longer meet mine?
the hand that freezes from a fleeting trust?
the hesitant heart that has been kept secret?
a rose belongs in the garden,
but my love should take you to that garden
why does it not?

-db

angelgirl 02-25-2015 08:31 AM

Hi, I love the way your poetry begins...
Quote:

a golden silence
just before breath
and although the poem is about romance I have a feeling that the love isn't there for her any more. Love shouldn't be about hurting each other but about compassion. If the compassion isn't there, it doesn't seem like either of them want to be together any more.

Black Francis 02-25-2015 08:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eqoatl (Post 1534142)
a golden silence
just before breath
just before i break your heart
'but your heart was never mine to break'
is this what we make of love?
the ability to hurt another?
we are thinking of loving,
always missing the mark
like a compliment at a funeral
love is said to be here
is it in the eyes that no longer meet mine?
the hand that freezes from a fleeting trust?
the hesitant heart that has been kept secret?
a rose belongs in the garden,
but my love should take you to that garden
why does it not?

-db

Nice.

The rhymes could be a little better but the message was expressed very clearly.


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