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07-10-2005, 03:46 PM | #1 (permalink) |
Music Addict
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 129
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Tell me what u think seriously please
She
She was a beautiful person to me She was kind and caring She always smiled when I’d see her She would talk about all the things I loved Little did she know I loved everything about her? Little did she know I always talked about her? Little by little I grew to love her more and more If only I could see her now If only I could remember her smile If only I didn’t leave home If only I had stayed and been with her I wish I could turn back time I want to come back home I want her to be alive today Why did she have to die? Why was it so painful? Why didn’t someone help her? Why didn’t she live to see me today? My life is not worth living My life is not worth crying for My life is so complicated My life is incomplete without her My life is not worth living My life is not worth crying for My life is so complicated My life is incomplete without her |
07-10-2005, 04:10 PM | #3 (permalink) |
Music Addict
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Oxford. Woo yeah. Ehem.
Posts: 58
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It's really good. I personally think maybe you should use more rhyme? That's up to preference though. My favourite line is "If only I could remember her smile..." 'Tis beautiful...keep going. And comment on mine if you like?
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I never wanted to love you, but that's okay... I always knew that you'd leave me anyway. You're treading on awfully thin ice darling, it's so awfully thin. It's almost turning to water, as we speak. *~~#You.Are.Too.Far.Gone.^'||¬.
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07-11-2005, 10:55 AM | #4 (permalink) | |
Groupie
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: My Post >>> Get Over It...But Make Sure You Laugh!
Posts: 12
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Quote:
Thats what it sounds like to me aswell. Good though!
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Who Polices The Police? Pope? God? Or Just Me! |
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07-11-2005, 12:25 PM | #5 (permalink) | |
Groupie
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Leeds
Posts: 39
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Good lyrics, very 'personal'.
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We are all here for one reason To rock! Quote:
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07-11-2005, 01:00 PM | #6 (permalink) | |
Bright F*cking Red
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: San Diego
Posts: 2,222
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its a little too..."kill yourself"ish for my taste....and its a little repetitve...the poetry of it is nice though.
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How'd I end up here to begin with? I don't know. Why do I start what I can't finish? Oh please, don't barrage me with questions to all those ugly answers. My ego's like my stomach- it keeps shitting what I feed it. But maybe I don't want to finish anything anymore.. maybe I can wait in bed 'til she comes home. and whispers.... Quote:
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07-12-2005, 09:22 AM | #9 (permalink) | |
Groupie
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: My Post >>> Get Over It...But Make Sure You Laugh!
Posts: 12
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Quote:
thats what they all say..i bet she's hidden under the floorboards rite?
__________________
Who Polices The Police? Pope? God? Or Just Me! |
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