John Wilkes Booth

so why the hell are these things so beautiful anyway?
forget all that idle noise
about whether there's a grand engineer,
what matters is there's grand engineering.
and the Siberian tiger is a marvel of nature,
a masterpiece to the highest degree,
the beautiful and glorious killing machine that it is.
a rough stone that was worn down
and polished for millions of years
through cut throats and bids for survival
until what you have is what you see
today in some zoo looking back at you
with the slightest touch of condescension.
that smugness on his face isn't imagined, it's earned.
and it's a mild alternative to the fate of a man
who happens to have seen him eye to eye
without the luxury of a cage and a bored cat.
that man has the lucky task of meeting a predator
at his proudest and most true,
of observing a beauty so pure
that it can only be the last thing he ever sees.

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Mr.Cramming

Hi there, John.

I can suggest you a few things about your songwriting. And I would like to add my personal taste in songwriting, which might give you a few points to consider.

From professional aspect, in songwriting - as long as you don't have melody or instrumental music - you must have rhyming schemes, which are not basically writing a rhyme in the end of each line. It is more of knowing how to professionally use the language, and spread the meaning in your heart and yet have some arrangement. I can't really express this in words, sadly. Reading a little bit more about rhyming schemes might be helpful.

From personal aspect, I don't think it is likely to be commercial or potential, as its meaning is not really connectable among the society. You should share emotions in your songwriting, not to just write about how you love a certain animal. Though, using a certain animal as a metaphor might be pretty intriguing and original. In your case, you have no other meaning than just how precious this animal is. Personally, I can't connect the meaning, no offence.

Plainview

I personally took this as a spoken word piece, and it that sense I thought it worked really effectively. Some nice ideas, and I like the way you draw upon creationism and evolution in a subtle but interesting way. I think it really just needs to be worded in a more flowing and appropriate manner, fine tuned if you will, to get the most from it. I disagree that it needs to rhyme to work, I think I'd rather it didn't, but you can certainly play around with the structure somewhat.

At the end of the day, poetry and song writing should be personal, should be self-indulgent, because if art isn't self-indulgent, then what is it? Anything less than that would be selling-out to an audience, which is best avoided. In this case, I think the premise is fine. It will connect with people, because endangered species are a hot topic ethically at the moment, and it speaks in a larger way about humanity's general treatment of the environment around us.

Pet_Sounds

Were you thinking of William Blake's poem when you wrote this?

__________________
Everybody's dying just to get the disease

John Wilkes Booth

it wasn't a song it was a sort of poem and i was on drugs when i wrote it. i don't usually write poems, i like story telling prose better, but once in a while i get an idea that can only really be expressed in this format and so i try to write it as a poem. and so i admittedly don't have much practice with the stylistic elements of poetry tbh. i am more interested in conveying ideas than fancy word play.

the poem isn't so much about how i love a particular animal but rather about the cut throat nature of the world and how i respect the killer instinct. something a lot of humans seem to shy away from and so i think people have a rosy view of nature that doesn't line up with reality which is why most people don't tend to get what i meant by this piece and tend to walk away with the same impression you got - that i just have a thing for tigers or that i give a **** about endangered species. i'm not too good at writing poetry cause i think i try to stay too subtle with it and people end up missing my point. and @ pet sounds no i haven't read any william blake.

Pet_Sounds

It reminded me a bit of one of his poems.

Tiger, tiger burning bright
In the forest of the night
What immortal hand or eye
Could shape thy fearful symmetry?

Really good poem, BTW. I especially liked the line about the zoo.

__________________
Everybody's dying just to get the disease

John Wilkes Booth

yea, i could see why it reminded you. he kept it real brief but it sounds like he had a similar thought. and thanks.. yea that's my favorite part too