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cigalechou 06-09-2014 07:48 AM

My songs lyrics.
 
Hi,

I write songs in French (okay, this isn't a problem for me, lol) and in English. I just want you to correct my mistakes, if possible.

I'll put the lyrics in next messages, after this one.

Thank you for your help :)

cigalechou :)

cigalechou 06-09-2014 08:33 AM

You took a part of my heart :

Chorus: You took a part of my heart
Before going somewhere.
Perhaps near from there,
But so far from me…
We were so different,
But so same too…
I don’t know where you are…
We were so happy together!

Verse 1: You were my ideal
But probably I wasn’t yours.
For me you were perfect,
The only one I could love…
Maybe did you forget me?

Chorus: You took a part of my heart
Before going somewhere.
Perhaps near from there,
But so far from me…
We were so different,
But so same too…
I don’t know where you are…
We were so happy together!

Verse 2: Everybody said
We weren’t made
For each other.
But you were all for me;
Perhaps for you was I nothing,
Or maybe took I a place?

Chorus: You took a part of my heart
Before going somewhere.
Perhaps near from there,
But so far from me…
We were so different,
But so same too…
I don’t know where you are…
We were so happy together!

Verse 3: Now I didn’t forget,
But I’ll never regret
All this moments
Spent on your side.
I’m just going to forward
And never look back much…

Chorus: You took a part of my heart
Before going somewhere.
Perhaps near from there,
But so far from me…
We were so different,
But so same too…
I don’t know where you are…
We were so happy together !

Chorus: You took a part of my heart
Before going somewhere.
Perhaps near from there,
But so far from me…
We were so different,
But so same too…
I don’t know where you are…
We were so happy together!

VEGANGELICA 06-11-2014 09:13 AM

Hi, cigalechou.

I'll put the lines that don't sound quite right to me in English in bold, and I'll offer alternatives that do.

I hope this will help you as you write lyrics in English!

* * *

You took a part of my heart :

Chorus: You took a part of my heart
Before going somewhere.
Perhaps near from there,
But so far from me…
We were so different,
But so same too… [But so much the same, too; but so similar, too]
I don’t know where you are…
We were so happy together!

Verse 1: You were my ideal
But probably I wasn’t yours.
For me you were perfect,
The only one I could love…
Maybe did you forget me? [Maybe you forgot me? Did you forget me? Have you forgotten me?]

Chorus: You took a part of my heart
Before going somewhere.
Perhaps near from there,
But so far from me…
We were so different,
But so same too… [But so much the same, too; but so similar, too]
I don’t know where you are…
We were so happy together!

Verse 2: Everybody said
We weren’t made
For each other.
But you were all for me; [But you meant everything to me; but you seemed made for me]
Perhaps for you was I nothing, [Perhaps to you I was nothing]
Or maybe took I a place? [I'm not sure how best to say, "Or maybe I took a place in your heart?" or "Maybe you cared for me a little?"]

Chorus: You took a part of my heart
Before going somewhere.
Perhaps near from there,
But so far from me…
We were so different,
But so same too… [But so much the same, too; but so similar, too]
I don’t know where you are…
We were so happy together!

Verse 3: Now I didn’t forget,
But I’ll never regret
All this moments [All these moments]
Spent on your side. [Spent by your side.]
I’m just going to forward [I'm just going to go or look forward]
And never look back much…

Chorus: You took a part of my heart
Before going somewhere.
Perhaps near from there,
But so far from me…
We were so different,
But so same too… [But so much the same, too; but so similar, too]
I don’t know where you are…
We were so happy together !

Chorus: You took a part of my heart
Before going somewhere.
Perhaps near from there,
But so far from me…
We were so different,
But so same too…[But so much the same, too; but so similar, too]
I don’t know where you are…
We were so happy together!

cigalechou 06-11-2014 11:30 AM

Thanks a lot for your help ;)
I've just some questions : I don't understand what "Maybe you cared for me a little?" means. (In my song, I wanted to ask him if I took a place in his heart. Does it means the same ?) And for the sentence "But you were all for me", can I say "But you brought me all" ?
Thank you :)

Plankton 06-12-2014 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aowens2204 (Post 1459456)
Not completely finished yet, but I want other peoples opinions on what I have so far.

Staring out my window and it's,
Pouring the rain
I'm stuck inside this house
Fighting with this pain
And ever since you left,
Nothing's been the same
And I'm so tired of doing
The same ol' thing
But today I got the guts,
To call you up
Ask you how you're doing on love
You say you found no one else
I'm right there with you
And since we're both alone I think you know what we should do


We need to get things to the way they were before
When each other's what we wanted, and nothing more
When we were always happy, and doing alright
When we would get along, and never fight
I wanna take another chance
But this time let's make it last
So baby please, can we, forget about the past?

Make your own thread, and maybe you'll get someone to post back. Not that you are probably aware, but this is a thread for cigalechou's lyrics, and posting yours is kind of rude.

Just an FYI.

aowens2204 06-12-2014 10:06 PM

I really didn't mean to. I apologize. I just joined this website today and have no idea how to use it

VEGANGELICA 06-13-2014 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cigalechou (Post 1459204)
Thanks a lot for your help ;)
I've just some questions : I don't understand what "Maybe you cared for me a little?" means. (In my song, I wanted to ask him if I took a place in his heart. Does it means the same ?) And for the sentence "But you were all for me", can I say "But you brought me all" ?
Thank you :)

You're welcome!

I feel you could say, "Did I have a place in your heart?" (rather than did I "take" a place in your heart), but then you'll be repeating the word "heart" quite a lot in the song.

I think that if someone says he cares for you a little, this means you have a place in his heart...but just a little place! :p:

"But you were all for me" sounds awkward to me, so I would probably say, "You meant everything to me," or "You gave me everything." "You brought me all" sounds odd, but sweet, and I know what you mean by it.

cigalechou 06-14-2014 03:09 AM

Okay thank you :)
I understood what you explained :)
Thanks to you, my song means something ^^


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