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06-27-2005, 01:59 PM | #12 (permalink) |
Music Addict
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 3,565
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OMG i took a personality test and look what it said
messy, disorganized, social, tough, outgoing, rarely worries, self revealing, open, risk taker, likes the unknown, likes large parties, makes friends easily, likes to stand out, likes to make fun of people, reckless, optimistic, positive, strong, does not like to be alone, ambivalent about chaos, abstract, impractical, not good at saving money, fearless, trusting, thrill seeker, not rule conscious, enjoys leadership, strange, loves food, abstract, rarely irritated, anti-authority, attracted to the counter culture |
07-23-2005, 06:35 AM | #15 (permalink) |
killedmyraindog
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Boston, Massachusetts
Posts: 11,172
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well it has potential. You need to realise that rhyming (especially monosylabic words like you did here) can trivialize a song immensly, and with an already trivial subject matter, you don't want that.
Raindogs Recommendation: Take the rhymes out and make this a 12 bar blues song. Try to detail that hard decision between choosing food or a woman. Or make him long for food when he's with the woman. Then my fiend, you have a song.
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07-23-2005, 10:21 PM | #16 (permalink) | |
Dadaist
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Location: Location:
Posts: 47
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Quote:
Also your song is nice sounds like it'd make a nice comedy song.
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Yours Truly, Lewis Code Micbee Superfluous words are stupid. Man is what man thinks "What? Breakfast and Snack? Lunch and Snack Snack?Dinner and Snack Snack Snack?" "We can't release these - the guitar is distorted" - Milt Rogers |
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