Lyrics/Song - Far Behind

joea · 01-05-2014, 07:16 PM

Hi everyone, I'm looking to start joining in the thread to share some ideas and open myself up for lyrical feedback. I have a vague writing style, and am open to your comments/critiques;

Far Behind

Here I stand again
Soaking in the pain
Buried in self doubt
Digging up the remains

My shadow is a chalk outline
That is shaped like a maze
Could it be that I'm fine?
Either way I've been dazed

CHORUS
Never thought of it that way
Didn't mean to be so blind
Even as the memory fades
I'll never leave that life behind

You can listen to the song at ReverbNation if you'd like to hear how it works with music (/meadeave). My biggest hurdle is writing lyrics that intertwine with our music perfectly while still having substance. Thanks everyone!

miinah-a-pun · 01-05-2014, 10:54 PM

love the chorus part

Vince · 01-28-2014, 11:22 AM

Hey there,

I like what I heard (I went to your Reverbnation). First off, kudos for mentioning Failure as an influence, they're one of my favorite bands.

Your song is structured really well, guitar solo is good, and your drummer is awesome. I would say the vocals are a bit dodgy though. Especially when you sing "way" in the chorus, it feels a bit off key. Something I do to help this (I'm insecure about my vocals lol) is have everyone play the song slower, to really nail the focal points with your voice. Good stuff, man. Let me know when you post more.

BlueRose · 02-04-2014, 09:36 PM

Hey! I am going to be completely honest with you since you are making such a conscious effort to get some honest feedback. I like the lyrics! They worked very well with the music, when I first read it I could tell it was quite poetic and wasn't sure how it would come across with the music but well done! The instrumentals are really well done as well. I do agree with Vince when it comes to the vocal. Leading up to the chorus was pretty good but once you got to the chorus I noticed you seemed to be a bit flat. This is absolutely normal and it happens to me and most other singers!! I think the problem may be when you are about to sing the higher notes or belt more you feel as if it is a "leap" and over think it which results in your throat muscles tightening and you end up pulling down the notes which causes them to fall flat....I hope that makes some sense! I remedy this by thinking "up" when I go to sing notes that I have sung flat in the past. As well, when you sing higher or louder try to pull your chin down rather than lifting it up which will strain you and make it harder. You can try this in an exercise alone, just start at the low notes with your chin up and has you go higher slowly lower it. Anyway, keep at it!! Good job!

01-05-2014, 07:16 PM	#1 (permalink)
joea Groupie Join Date: Jan 2014 Posts: 1	Lyrics/Song - Far Behind Hi everyone, I'm looking to start joining in the thread to share some ideas and open myself up for lyrical feedback. I have a vague writing style, and am open to your comments/critiques; Far Behind Here I stand again Soaking in the pain Buried in self doubt Digging up the remains My shadow is a chalk outline That is shaped like a maze Could it be that I'm fine? Either way I've been dazed CHORUS Never thought of it that way Didn't mean to be so blind Even as the memory fades I'll never leave that life behind You can listen to the song at ReverbNation if you'd like to hear how it works with music (/meadeave). My biggest hurdle is writing lyrics that intertwine with our music perfectly while still having substance. Thanks everyone!

01-05-2014, 10:54 PM	#2 (permalink)
miinah-a-pun Groupie Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: POKHARA, NEPAL Posts: 40	love the chorus part

01-28-2014, 11:22 AM	#3 (permalink)
Vince Groupie Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Colorado Posts: 25	Hey there, I like what I heard (I went to your Reverbnation). First off, kudos for mentioning Failure as an influence, they're one of my favorite bands. Your song is structured really well, guitar solo is good, and your drummer is awesome. I would say the vocals are a bit dodgy though. Especially when you sing "way" in the chorus, it feels a bit off key. Something I do to help this (I'm insecure about my vocals lol) is have everyone play the song slower, to really nail the focal points with your voice. Good stuff, man. Let me know when you post more.

02-04-2014, 09:36 PM	#4 (permalink)
BlueRose Groupie Join Date: Feb 2014 Posts: 4	Hey! I am going to be completely honest with you since you are making such a conscious effort to get some honest feedback. I like the lyrics! They worked very well with the music, when I first read it I could tell it was quite poetic and wasn't sure how it would come across with the music but well done! The instrumentals are really well done as well. I do agree with Vince when it comes to the vocal. Leading up to the chorus was pretty good but once you got to the chorus I noticed you seemed to be a bit flat. This is absolutely normal and it happens to me and most other singers!! I think the problem may be when you are about to sing the higher notes or belt more you feel as if it is a "leap" and over think it which results in your throat muscles tightening and you end up pulling down the notes which causes them to fall flat....I hope that makes some sense! I remedy this by thinking "up" when I go to sing notes that I have sung flat in the past. As well, when you sing higher or louder try to pull your chin down rather than lifting it up which will strain you and make it harder. You can try this in an exercise alone, just start at the low notes with your chin up and has you go higher slowly lower it. Anyway, keep at it!! Good job!