Black Francis

As the title say its my AMATEUR poetry, i cant stress amateur enough
if you're gonna criticise it
be constructive only then will i listen

this 1 is about depression

You cannot save me

At the truest moment of my disparity
A single thought echoes through eternity
it says

"You are a fraud and a victim of yourself"

Behind my smiles
There is only sorrow
Behind my eyes
No hope for tomorrow

You do not know me
I have chosen so
For if you knew truly knew me
You would not like me so

It may be too late for me
I sleep deep in the abyss
The person you came to know
Is a reflection of who i want to be

Because if you truly knew me
Would you stay by my side?
Will you see through my lies?
And find my honest intention?

As i push you away
I hope you always comeback
I ask so much of you
But i give nothing back

So i decided for you
That is best that i go
For i can hurt myself
But i can't hurt you no more

I will leave you intact
It will all be my fault
For i loved you whole heartily
But i do not know love

__________________
"Hey Kids you got to meet the MIGHTY PIXIES!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbRbCtIgW3A

Black Francis

this one is very simple, practically a hallmark card, it's about genuine appreciation, it's called Acknowledged

Under me
You will never be
Underappreciated

Because for far too long
You have given
And taken for granted

They all know
How great you are
But refuse to tell you

They only see
How to compete
And not let you surpass them

And so they won't
Even acknowledge
That you exist

And you will spend
Your life being great
Without ever knowing

You will be trampled
Used and tossed
For how right you are

Because this world
Only rewards
The one who wins

Instead of rewarding
How good you are
As a human being

So the very least
i could do
For a kind person like you

Is to let you Know
That i at least
Appreciate you for you

__________________
"Hey Kids you got to meet the MIGHTY PIXIES!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbRbCtIgW3A

Powerstars

Love it! Would make a great song. Power ballad, probably.

__________________

CLOSER

"For i loved you whole heartily
But i do not know love"

**** thats great

Black Francis

lol you think?

if i WOULD make it a song i would probably make it into a death metal song or something lol
Thank you i appreciate it ^_^

it's nice to get some positive feedback as im sure some negative is to come

i actually wrote that piece to explain to my GF i deal with depression
that's how i explained to her through a poem

im surprised she didn't leave me lol

__________________
"Hey Kids you got to meet the MIGHTY PIXIES!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbRbCtIgW3A

Black Francis

its been awhile since i posted here

this poem is called

'Empty promises'

Remember all the boys
And all their promises
Promises they made to you
In the glory of your youth

But as your beauty fades
the boys will go away
Until you have left
Are empty promises

But girl is not so dumb
But not too far from blond
But beauty as a flaw
Has left her without depth

And now her eyes
Her hands
Are but a wrinkled prune
And all that she has left
Is a life of regrets

__________________
"Hey Kids you got to meet the MIGHTY PIXIES!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbRbCtIgW3A

Christine_Blackwell

I personally write poetry and I really enjoy reading what you have posted. I agree with the above that the referenced song would make a good ballad

Black Francis

This one is called

"Stay"

As always
The best thing i can i say
Will always be left unsaid
For words cannot capture these feelings felt

But everyday i try my best
To understand this sweet embrace
That moves my soul and makes me crave
The warmth of the one i love

I do not need to explain
Because my heart understands
That when you take me by the hand
A world of wonder awaits

And with such mystery lies
And intrigue that is undefined
Because this journey of you and i
Has no destination ahead

But where will this road take us?
One of us is bound to ask
The one who got too attached
Wants a love without a doubt

I do not know what to say
I can only say "Stay"
All i know is i want you
The rest is up to chance

The moment is we all have
So let us make every kiss last
And hope love reveals the path
That you and i are meant to take.

__________________
"Hey Kids you got to meet the MIGHTY PIXIES!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbRbCtIgW3A

Black Francis

"Forgotten"

For far too long i have dreamed of the stars
Clinging to the hopes that i could achieve greatness
But the truth is i am just another worker ant
Forgotten by time for being nameless and faceless

But it is my fault i settled for this role
For i lacked the will power to truly impact the world
But yet i still feel my voice is louder than most
And i hoped it would echo forever

But that is just a dream that comforts my soul
Reality is i will be forgotten when im gone
I have failed to become indispensable
To make my existence have any worth

History will not remember me
It only records the story of kings
Not worker drones who dream big
But left no mark to prove they were here.

__________________
"Hey Kids you got to meet the MIGHTY PIXIES!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbRbCtIgW3A

JoshPerry

Wow! Your poetry is really, really, really, really good! I write some sometimes and this was.... amazing.