Black Francis

Thank you. ^_^

If you write poems too you should make a thread for them.

You're new here, right? Welcome to MB.

__________________
"Hey Kids you got to meet the MIGHTY PIXIES!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbRbCtIgW3A

Black Francis

Thnx

__________________
"Hey Kids you got to meet the MIGHTY PIXIES!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbRbCtIgW3A

Black Francis

Lover's remorse

Look at me one last time
look at the tears i shed for you
Before i release you from my heart
Know i cared so much i cried

There will be no turning back
No friend for when you call
No understanding from my lips
No safety net for when you fall

Just an old lover's remorse
Sharp as the honesty held back
From many years of truly knowing
The real person that you are

All our laughs have faded
Into memory of good times
Moments that shaped our lives
But we will never get back

So look at me for one last time
At your old lover's remorse
And feel the pain of my tears
For they are my final goodbye

__________________
"Hey Kids you got to meet the MIGHTY PIXIES!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbRbCtIgW3A

Black Francis

Thanx

i don't have a very good sense of structure or know alot of big fancy words so i try to focus on the message an portraying it as honest as i can.

__________________
"Hey Kids you got to meet the MIGHTY PIXIES!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbRbCtIgW3A

Black Francis

"Home"

In my moonlit room
Where i lay scorned
There is an old tv set
that keeps me company through my misery

It is the only luxury i have earned
For all the hardwork i have done
For being mistreated as a dog
And being the doormat of my family

In it i see stories of joy
About affection and love
But as soon as i glance away
All i hear is screams through the walls

Yells i have done something wrong
Simply by just being born
That i do not deserve to loved
Even by the ones that gave life to me

I wish my life were like those stories
That my existence had a purpose
But i have been dealt a loser's hand
Destined to be worthless

Fate is fickle like that
It does not always reward the just
Some people are simply given
What others have to fight for

I fight to simply have hope
To not lose it to this miserable world
That has brought me nothing but hardships
Without any rewards

I fear i will someday break
Implode and lash out in hate
Or simply accept i am slave
To circumstances beyond my control

__________________
"Hey Kids you got to meet the MIGHTY PIXIES!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbRbCtIgW3A

Black Francis

"Truth be told"

It is universally understood
Most people hide from the truth
They fear it will expose them to everyone
So they twist it into something they can consume

They hold it on the palm of their hands
Thinking they can control it
And In hypocrisy they claim
They stand far above it

Until that truth turns back on them
And tells them how wrong they are
Then they slowly start to let go
Of The truth they firmly grasped

Because the truth is not always pleasant
It will not always tell you what you want to hear
It will break you down and tear you
And reflect all your inner fears

So beware of how you use such power
And be careful when you use it to judge others
Because sooner or later that very truth
Is going to comeback to question you.

__________________
"Hey Kids you got to meet the MIGHTY PIXIES!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbRbCtIgW3A

blackdragon123

I don't usually comment on things like these. But I would like to think that maybe I could offer a snippet of constructive criticism.

You're writing about a very common theme, and that's not a bad thing. Your take on it is obviously pessimistic. No doubt there's some strong emotions here, but it really lacks subtlety.

Well maybe subtle isn't your "thing", well that's not a bad thing either. Edgar Allan Poe's poems aren't subtle...but he made up for it with that silky lyrical mastery over the words he used. Poe poured poetry like good wine. If I could offer some constructive criticism it would be "Be like Poe. Pour poetry like a good wine"

__________________
'Well, I'm a common working man,
With a half of bitter, bread and jam,
And if it pleases me, I'll put one on ya man,
When the copper fades away!' - Jethro Tull

Black Francis

Thnx i appreciate your advice and i see your point it's not very subtle in fact i don't really know how subtle i am in my poetry i didn't give it too much thought until now..

i feel if im the subtle some ppl might miss the message and since i don't have a mastery over the english language i mostly use everyday words to get my point across.

i actually appreciate your advice and i know i can do better so i'll keep it in mind.

__________________
"Hey Kids you got to meet the MIGHTY PIXIES!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbRbCtIgW3A

iamdiamondami

Those poems are really great to read! I'm really inspired by a lot of your work and I can relate to a lot of it! I got goose pimples when I red those lines of your first post:

The person you came to know
Is a reflection of who i want to be

Black Francis

thnx. that specific part is about hiding your bad side under a smile, in my case hiding my depression from the girl i was seeing at the time.

__________________
"Hey Kids you got to meet the MIGHTY PIXIES!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbRbCtIgW3A