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Old 02-03-2013, 07:00 PM   #1 (permalink)
Groupie
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 35
Default Some feedback would be appreciated

This a rough draft recording. The lyrics were written a few hours ago and I threw the track together in about one. That's why it sounds so sloppy. Also I'm actually doing vocals and I am a terrible f***ing singer. And it doesn't help that I was trying to stay quiet which seemed to effectively **** up that last verse. So yeah, none of it is finished really, but so far, what do you guys think? Any tips or ideas?

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I seem to forget
Exactly what type of niche
A person like you fits into.
A peaceful habitat
With no contact
Or one that tries to
Destroy you.

You cry for the tranquil
but everything you do will
Give you a negative result.
You start all the drama
with a self-righteous cantata
That brings your life to a halt.

You see your reflection,
With the expectation
It will always stay on your side.
But out of frustration
and exasperation
It will leave you high and dry.

And you have it backwards
So you never can move towards
The light you desperately seek.
So drop to your knees
and say "Lord, please
Let me have my soul to keep."
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