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06-01-2005, 11:22 PM | #12 (permalink) |
killedmyraindog
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Boston, Massachusetts
Posts: 11,172
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Yeah I agree that couplets are a bad rhyme scheme to use. Only a few people ever have done them to the degree that they are tolerable. And its mostly victorian poetry. My suggestion is, and I've had to learn this myself, is you need to teach yourself to be honest. I find alot of the time when I write, that I want to make things more coloful or flowery. Can all of that, write what you think and feel.
Above all else, personal stuff like this, use free verse. Lines don't have to rhyme if they stay in melody (and therefore have roughly the same syllable count). Rhyme schemes like Abab are cool once in awhile but if you listen to the great song writers. They write plainly, plain spoken. Don't listen to angie, "personal" mean "terrible", keep writing dude.
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06-02-2005, 07:56 AM | #13 (permalink) |
Something That You're Not
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Cold And All Alone
Posts: 475
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^ Good post.
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06-02-2005, 08:06 AM | #14 (permalink) |
The Sexual Intellectual
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Somewhere cooler than you
Posts: 18,605
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I think you should play more on the Hitler theme
Y`know you blitzkrieged my heart & now I feel like i`m in Poland in 1939 Or something
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06-02-2005, 09:12 AM | #15 (permalink) |
The Erroneous Hoodlum
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: West Side Phoenix
Posts: 2,057
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keep writing, dont let anyone else discourage you. Writing the typical anti-everything punk rock song is as easy as it comes. Lyrics like this with a more personal message are a bit harder for most people and to perform a personal song live infront of a crowd takes some guts. It took me almost 6 years of playing before i even attempted to write something of this nature. Even though the pattern is too repetitive, with some decent breaks in it and a good sludgy rythem It may not sound as terrible as people think.
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