Need some feedback on my lyrics please.

ReturnOfTheAmazingStart · 09-13-2012, 04:09 AM

Hi all.
I just discovered this forum when looking for a place where I could post my lyrics and get some honest feedback.
These particular lyrics are about when I told my best friend that I had feelings for her and how I felt when she didn't feel the same. She basically told me it would never be the two of us. I am/was her best friend and she wanted us to be friends forever.
Writing lyrics when I'm feeling down, seems to have a therapeutic effect for me in some strange ways.
So here it goes:

Hollywood ending.

World is falling apart
Wrong choices made
Decisions of the heart

Life won’t let us choose
So special, so right
‘Forever’ is mine to lose

No hero, no happy ending
No riding into the sunset, no glory pending
No use hoping for a Hollywood ending

Laid it all on the line
Words like daggers
Made me close my eyes

No hero, no happy ending
No riding into the sunset, no glory pending
No use hoping for a Hollywood ending

So close yet far away
Too many flaws
There won’t be another day

No hero, no happy ending
No riding into the sunset, no glory pending
No use hoping for a Hollywood ending

No fireworks, darkness descending
Fade to black, no use pretending
For you and me, there is no Hollywood ending

Blarobbarg · 09-13-2012, 08:21 AM

I've never been crazy about love songs in general (in fact, there's only one artist who write love songs I enjoy), but for what they are, these lyrics aren't bad.

I'd like to see what you can do with another topic.

narniaandmusicforever · 09-13-2012, 03:12 PM

Thats really good

ShatteredDreamz · 09-16-2012, 10:43 AM

nice lyrics. are you from england?

ReturnOfTheAmazingStart · 09-16-2012, 03:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShatteredDreamz

nice lyrics. are you from england?

No, I'm from Norway.

Dougdenslowe · 10-04-2012, 11:41 PM

I like it better at ATL!Not really,but this is my first post here.Besides Bedroom Eyes also posted at ATL.I want to see if the feedback is better here,time will tell.

09-13-2012, 04:09 AM	#1 (permalink)
ReturnOfTheAmazingStart Groupie Join Date: Sep 2012 Posts: 2	Need some feedback on my lyrics please. Hi all. I just discovered this forum when looking for a place where I could post my lyrics and get some honest feedback. These particular lyrics are about when I told my best friend that I had feelings for her and how I felt when she didn't feel the same. She basically told me it would never be the two of us. I am/was her best friend and she wanted us to be friends forever. Writing lyrics when I'm feeling down, seems to have a therapeutic effect for me in some strange ways. So here it goes: Hollywood ending. World is falling apart Wrong choices made Decisions of the heart Life won’t let us choose So special, so right ‘Forever’ is mine to lose No hero, no happy ending No riding into the sunset, no glory pending No use hoping for a Hollywood ending Laid it all on the line Words like daggers Made me close my eyes No hero, no happy ending No riding into the sunset, no glory pending No use hoping for a Hollywood ending So close yet far away Too many flaws There won’t be another day No hero, no happy ending No riding into the sunset, no glory pending No use hoping for a Hollywood ending No fireworks, darkness descending Fade to black, no use pretending For you and me, there is no Hollywood ending

09-13-2012, 08:21 AM	#2 (permalink)
Blarobbarg Do good. Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota Posts: 2,065	I've never been crazy about love songs in general (in fact, there's only one artist who write love songs I enjoy), but for what they are, these lyrics aren't bad. I'd like to see what you can do with another topic. __________________ https://rateyourmusic.com/~Blarobbarg ｡･::･ﾟ★,｡･::･ﾟ☆　^my RYM^　｡･::･ﾟ★,｡･::･ﾟ☆ (◠‿◠✿)

09-13-2012, 03:12 PM	#3 (permalink)
narniaandmusicforever Groupie Join Date: Sep 2012 Posts: 28	Thats really good

09-16-2012, 10:43 AM	#4 (permalink)
ShatteredDreamz Groupie Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Northampton, England Posts: 4	nice lyrics. are you from england?

10-04-2012, 11:41 PM	#6 (permalink)
Dougdenslowe Groupie Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: West Coast,U.S.A. Posts: 24	I like it better at ATL!Not really,but this is my first post here.Besides Bedroom Eyes also posted at ATL.I want to see if the feedback is better here,time will tell.