"JUST ONE CLICK"----doin' love song?-think this one will help you.

miinah-a-pun · 07-20-2012, 06:39 AM

the way i breathe is changing
now you are here and i am feeling
your touch was the sweetest illusion that ever happened
but its hard when you are around me and you are not with me

just one click...... take me out of it and i am done with my world of fantasy
so, lets stop chasing before the sun goes down
we will be holding on each other safe and sound

need no shining star to make a wish
need no falling rain to make me wet
as far as we are walking side by side
i can take the world against me for fight
and i don't even have to run and hide
so, lets stop chasing before the sun goes down
and we will be holding on each other safe and sound

feel me before that wind blows me far
set my picture, perfect enough, before that fire burns it dark
and i will be with you in you
that's why i am asking you to make that one click
and take me out of it......

just one click, take me out of it and i will be done with my world of fantasy

miinah-a-pun · 07-20-2012, 06:40 AM

plz plz feedback me..... it means a lot to me

ThreeTimesThrough · 07-20-2012, 09:18 PM

It's decent as a poetry, but I need help, I don't really know how I get it off the page. I really like this though. If you could help me make my songs into songs, to bridge the gap from chord progressions to Lyrics, I'd be eternally grateful.

From "Reese's"

miinah-a-pun · 07-20-2012, 10:18 PM

i dont really know about composing music.... and i just want someone to play fair with my words, thats all.......
wish i could help u

~~1moretroubadour~~ · 07-28-2012, 03:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by miinah-a-pun

i dont really know about composing music.... and i just want someone to play fair with my words, thats all.......
wish i could help u

I always see you posting that line "I want someone to play fair with my words" but I don't really know what that means. Something lost in translation?

~~1moretroubadour~~ · 07-28-2012, 03:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThreeTimesThrough

It's decent as a poetry, but I need help, I don't really know how I get it off the page. I really like this though. If you could help me make my songs into songs, to bridge the gap from chord progressions to Lyrics, I'd be eternally grateful.

From "Reese's"

Not sure what you mean either about "bridging the gap from chords progressions to lyrics". Do you mean applying melodies to lyrics? What are you having difficulty with exactly?

miinah-a-pun · 07-29-2012, 12:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1moretroubadour

I always see you posting that line "I want someone to play fair with my words" but I don't really know what that means. Something lost in translation?

wt i really ment is......to give them really good music

~~1moretroubadour~~ · 07-29-2012, 02:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by miinah-a-pun

wt i really ment is......to give them really good music

Ah I see. Sorry for misunderstanding

A bit of feedback: when writing lyrics, you should have a melody in mind, even if its not the melody those lyrics will be used for. There is more to writing lyrics than simply rhyming words. Each sentence must have a flow to it, rhythmic and natural. As well, its important that the the emphasizing vowel of each word flow naturally as well.

When a singer sings a song, depending on their range and the pitch they hit, different vowel and word combinations can give difficulties. For example, hit 'oh' as in Oreo or 'ah' as in America have the back of your tongue flattened which means you lose air quickly and its a bit difficult to control (unless you're a well trained singer).

I'm not saying that you are doing any of this wrong, not at all! But when you are planning lyrics for someone else's melody, its important to keep these things in consideration. The easiest way to do this is to sing it yourself with your own melody and only sing the vowels. With a bit of practice, you'll understand what I mean and it will change your songwriting, hopefully for the better

EDIT: Oh i'm sorry, i realized I didn't give you any feedback! I like the imagery and the idea of the lyrics you wrote but it seems like there is a problem with the grammar. I can understand if english isn't your first language but if you are able to clean it up, it could sound really great

miinah-a-pun · 07-29-2012, 10:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1moretroubadour

Ah I see. Sorry for misunderstanding

A bit of feedback: when writing lyrics, you should have a melody in mind, even if its not the melody those lyrics will be used for. There is more to writing lyrics than simply rhyming words. Each sentence must have a flow to it, rhythmic and natural. As well, its important that the the emphasizing vowel of each word flow naturally as well.

When a singer sings a song, depending on their range and the pitch they hit, different vowel and word combinations can give difficulties. For example, hit 'oh' as in Oreo or 'ah' as in America have the back of your tongue flattened which means you lose air quickly and its a bit difficult to control (unless you're a well trained singer).

I'm not saying that you are doing any of this wrong, not at all! But when you are planning lyrics for someone else's melody, its important to keep these things in consideration. The easiest way to do this is to sing it yourself with your own melody and only sing the vowels. With a bit of practice, you'll understand what I mean and it will change your songwriting, hopefully for the better

EDIT: Oh i'm sorry, i realized I didn't give you any feedback! I like the imagery and the idea of the lyrics you wrote but it seems like there is a problem with the grammar. I can understand if english isn't your first language but if you are able to clean it up, it could sound really great

thanks for sharing theeessseee lots of thing......
yes! english is not my first language n we dont use it that often. i have got to improve my grammer+vocabulary.
as i already said i m not familiar with any musical instrument and i have no idea who a songs are made, however i, once saw that they set their tune first and then they write the lyrice according to it and i was so surprised....i was like OHHH ! SO THATS HOW THEY DO IT......hahahha

~~1moretroubadour~~ · 07-29-2012, 10:30 PM

Every songwriting style is different, there's no right or wrong way. Some people write the music first, others the lyrics first, and some write them both together. Elton John is famous for beginning his career writing music to someone else's lyrics (that only appeared in the mail with out explanation) so there's no one to say it can't happen.

I think its great that you are trying and trying to improve. I'm not on this site all the time and I'm a bit busy, but the next time I promise I'll sit down and help you with your english and we can get you started with something you can be proud of. Ok?

07-20-2012, 06:39 AM	#1 (permalink)
miinah-a-pun Groupie Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: POKHARA, NEPAL Posts: 40	"JUST ONE CLICK"----doin' love song?-think this one will help you. the way i breathe is changing now you are here and i am feeling your touch was the sweetest illusion that ever happened but its hard when you are around me and you are not with me just one click...... take me out of it and i am done with my world of fantasy so, lets stop chasing before the sun goes down we will be holding on each other safe and sound need no shining star to make a wish need no falling rain to make me wet as far as we are walking side by side i can take the world against me for fight and i don't even have to run and hide so, lets stop chasing before the sun goes down and we will be holding on each other safe and sound feel me before that wind blows me far set my picture, perfect enough, before that fire burns it dark and i will be with you in you that's why i am asking you to make that one click and take me out of it...... just one click, take me out of it and i will be done with my world of fantasy Last edited by miinah-a-pun; 03-15-2014 at 02:49 AM.

07-20-2012, 06:40 AM	#2 (permalink)
miinah-a-pun Groupie Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: POKHARA, NEPAL Posts: 40	plz plz feedback me..... it means a lot to me

07-20-2012, 09:18 PM	#3 (permalink)
ThreeTimesThrough Groupie Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: Right now, it's Houston, TX. Posts: 2	It's decent as a poetry, but I need help, I don't really know how I get it off the page. I really like this though. If you could help me make my songs into songs, to bridge the gap from chord progressions to Lyrics, I'd be eternally grateful. From "Reese's"

07-20-2012, 10:18 PM	#4 (permalink)
miinah-a-pun Groupie Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: POKHARA, NEPAL Posts: 40	i dont really know about composing music.... and i just want someone to play fair with my words, thats all....... wish i could help u

07-29-2012, 10:30 PM	#10 (permalink)
~~1moretroubadour~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Jul 2012 Posts: 43	Every songwriting style is different, there's no right or wrong way. Some people write the music first, others the lyrics first, and some write them both together. Elton John is famous for beginning his career writing music to someone else's lyrics (that only appeared in the mail with out explanation) so there's no one to say it can't happen. I think its great that you are trying and trying to improve. I'm not on this site all the time and I'm a bit busy, but the next time I promise I'll sit down and help you with your english and we can get you started with something you can be proud of. Ok?