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04-16-2012, 04:16 AM | #1 (permalink) |
not really
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 5,223
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angsty rap lyrics
Please give me advice on how to make it better im not really sure what im doing but im having fun with it
blunted in the bomb shelter/ helter skelter/ chiefin pixie dust thats jack white/ dead weather/ act right leisure weezer/ making songs about a ****ing hash pipe ------- but hey.. its white person tatted see me on the block/lookin kinda sad/holdin a semi/automatic/ fantastic damage sexy? im bringin back tragic just kiddin tho im chilling bro really tho rappers lyrics are immatireal gimme all yo money and gimmmey all yo residuals who gives a shit im ignorant |
04-16-2012, 04:10 PM | #3 (permalink) |
not really
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 5,223
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thanks goofle
the flow is more or less like how it reads. I was mostly trying to be hyper-referential because thats what i associate with good. Thats why I have all the musicians who influenced me in that openin stanza. I was trying to be funny when saying "its white person tatted, see me on the block looking sad" but its probably self-indulgent your right. What kinda flows do you like in rap? I was really concerned about changing flows but i think i overdid it a lot |
04-16-2012, 04:21 PM | #4 (permalink) | |
"Hermione-Lite"
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: New York.
Posts: 3,084
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I understood the flow, but at the beginning, all of those words:
Quote:
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04-16-2012, 04:23 PM | #5 (permalink) |
not really
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 5,223
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I def do!! thanks for feedback sugah
I don't mind being slightly off-putting tho For example it could be like: blunted in the bomb shelter i say bye to my hater later alligator It was sounding like that which i was tryin to avoid |
04-16-2012, 04:25 PM | #6 (permalink) | |
Chocolate Homunculus
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 1,293
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I like it a lot.
It's hard to tell how the flow is until you spit it over the beat.
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Quote:
Last.Fm My Bomb Music Shit |
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04-16-2012, 04:29 PM | #7 (permalink) |
"Hermione-Lite"
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: New York.
Posts: 3,084
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Actually, reading it over again, I liked it. But I haaaate "leisure weezer". I don't know why, it just sounds too singsong for me. But maybe that's your thing! I don't judge! I'm glad there's no "later alligator" or "say bye to my hater" though, that's super cliche.
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04-16-2012, 04:36 PM | #9 (permalink) |
"Hermione-Lite"
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: New York.
Posts: 3,084
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Oh my god, I must have skimmed over it!
GIMME ALL YO MONEY AND GIMME ALL YO RESIDUALS. Nicki, I have failed you. |
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