Hi, would you rate my lyrics please? - Music Banter Music Banter

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Old 05-01-2012, 04:16 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Boston, MA
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I love how it's to the point, and doesn't use big words that no one can understand. Your lyrics are true, and relateable.

****Can someone help me????****
Just some ideas I wrote down while listening to Something In The Way - Nirvana (instrumental)
These are bits of my poetry, ideas of what I want the song to be about;
any lyric ideas? simple, straight to the point, not too wordy?

"I taste the silence as it infests my mind.
A touch of sanity and bitter hate,
Yet I need its warm embrace."

"It’s okay, don't pity me, please. I have no friends..but maybe it's better that way"

"My mind is an overwhelming mess of dark and twisted thoughts that have taken over and chased out the soul I once had. Maybe it's better for me to be alone with myself..I can't handle people. I can't handle the boundless pain inside me, let alone the pain of everyday life. I'm too bitter and hostile for people. I hate people because people hate me. I'll never live to be what I've worked for and I'll never live up to anyone’s expectations. Happiness is a forgiven emotion to me. If I have none within me, so how in hell can I share it with people? So I choose to be alone, because it's what's best. I've learned this the hard way over the past years. Over these years I have found my friend, they're in my head. "
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