TheNiceGuy's Songwriting Stash

TheNiceGuy · 12-17-2011, 06:20 AM

I've taken an interest in songwriting and lyrics recently and so I've decided to pen some of my own.

For want of a better name, the first one is called "Johnny Smith"

1.

No man wants to live in a cell,
But Johnny Smith had it coming,
When he gave a man his death,
There was no point in running,
Away from a dead man,
Bleeding out one last breath...

Oooh Johnny Johnny,
You're not the man you could've been,
Oooh Johnny Johnny,
You're not the guy you should've been,

He was sentenced for 40 years,
oh but it feels like life,
Johnny was guilty he was holding the knife,
oh but he doesn't regret it,

It was all for a thrill,
Just one lousy kill...

Oooh Johnny Johnny,
You're not the man you might've been
Oooh Johnny Johnny,
Look at what you've turned out to be

Now Johnny lives in steel and stone,
and his heart is the same,
He doesn't mourn for those that are gone,
Because he was to blame,
No remorse, no wince of pain,
What else do I have to say?

Oooh Johnny Smith
(What could you have been?)

Oooh Johnny Smith
(You're a cold machine)

Oooh Johnny Smith
(Die in hell you fiend)

Oooh Johnny Smith
(Where would you have been?)

Oooh Johnny Smith...

Oooh Johnny Smith... (fade out)

Salami · 12-17-2011, 07:14 AM

I liked that. What songs inspired you?

"First of the Gang to Die" by Morrissey comes to mind.

I think we should set it to music!

TheNiceGuy · 12-17-2011, 06:19 PM

The murder part was kind of inspired by Folsom Prison Blues by Johnny Cash, but I wanted the song to be more along the lines of the early Jam.

I do like Morrissey though...

Salami · 12-17-2011, 06:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheNiceGuy

The murder part was kind of inspired by Folsom Prison Blues by Johnny Cash, but I wanted the song to be more along the lines of the early Jam.

I do like Morrissey though...

This will be an interesting challenge!

What should it sound like?

TheNiceGuy · 12-17-2011, 09:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mighty Salami

This will be an interesting challenge!

What should it sound like?

A kind of mid tempo rocker with a punkish feel but I wanted the chorus to have a touch of a good pop hook. And by punk here I'm thinking more along the lines of The Jam/Early Who or Elvis Costello than The Sex Pistols/Clash.

Basically your usual guitar, bass, drums with a murky synth line ala Steve Nieve. Perhaps a small solo after the second chorus as well.

Salami · 12-18-2011, 08:06 AM

Very good idea. I just need to find someone who can sing!

TheNiceGuy · 12-18-2011, 04:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mighty Salami

Very good idea. I just need to find someone who can sing!

For a song like this I feel that the vocals should be gritty to an extent but not overtly harsh. So again that Elvis Costello/Paul Weller style is the one that I think fits lyrics best.

Salami · 12-18-2011, 05:18 PM

I'm very interested in that chorus: "You're not the man you could've been/oooh Johnny Johnny/You're not the guy you should've been". I think I can imagine Costello singing that very well.

TheNiceGuy · 12-19-2011, 06:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mighty Salami

I'm very interested in that chorus: "You're not the man you could've been/oooh Johnny Johnny/You're not the guy you should've been". I think I can imagine Costello singing that very well.

I do like Costello's slightly weird but consistent singing style. I agree it would probably work nicely.

TheNiceGuy · 01-17-2012, 06:55 AM

Okay song number 2,

This one's called World on My Shoulders. It's about the trepidation and guilt people feel when they want to break up, and the relief that some of them get when they tell the other person. One of my good friend's had a situation like this which gave me the seed for the lyrics.

2. World on My Shoulders

Now look at me walking,
All alone down the road,
Nobody is talking,

They all just watch and stare,
But little do they know,
I am no longer there,

The World's on my shoulders,
And the pain that it gives me,
Has made her much colder,

Those throwaway glances,
They all want to hate me,
When I've done nothing wrong,

Little shots of hatred,
That unthinking venom,
Would I be better dead?

My innocence fading,
Got no where to run now,
My life a dark shading,

The World's on my shoulders,
Bearing down on my soul,
I'm leaving I told her,

I tell her I want out,
She no longer listen's,
She just stand's there and shouts,

I'm free from her clutches,
The end of those cold looks,
And in sincere touches,

The World's off my shoulders,
I can walk out alright,
And leave the shame on her,

12-17-2011, 06:20 AM	#1 (permalink)
TheNiceGuy Living under the bridge Join Date: May 2011 Location: Australia Posts: 317	TheNiceGuy's Songwriting Stash I've taken an interest in songwriting and lyrics recently and so I've decided to pen some of my own. For want of a better name, the first one is called "Johnny Smith" 1. No man wants to live in a cell, But Johnny Smith had it coming, When he gave a man his death, There was no point in running, Away from a dead man, Bleeding out one last breath... Oooh Johnny Johnny, You're not the man you could've been, Oooh Johnny Johnny, You're not the guy you should've been, He was sentenced for 40 years, oh but it feels like life, Johnny was guilty he was holding the knife, oh but he doesn't regret it, It was all for a thrill, Just one lousy kill... Oooh Johnny Johnny, You're not the man you might've been Oooh Johnny Johnny, Look at what you've turned out to be Now Johnny lives in steel and stone, and his heart is the same, He doesn't mourn for those that are gone, Because he was to blame, No remorse, no wince of pain, What else do I have to say? Oooh Johnny Smith (What could you have been?) Oooh Johnny Smith (You're a cold machine) Oooh Johnny Smith (Die in hell you fiend) Oooh Johnny Smith (Where would you have been?) Oooh Johnny Smith... Oooh Johnny Smith... (fade out) __________________ My Music Review Blog-It's Only Rock 'n' Roll There is no Dark Side of the Moon really, matter of fact it's all dark...

12-17-2011, 06:19 PM	#3 (permalink)
TheNiceGuy Living under the bridge Join Date: May 2011 Location: Australia Posts: 317	The murder part was kind of inspired by Folsom Prison Blues by Johnny Cash, but I wanted the song to be more along the lines of the early Jam. I do like Morrissey though... __________________ My Music Review Blog-It's Only Rock 'n' Roll There is no Dark Side of the Moon really, matter of fact it's all dark...

01-17-2012, 06:55 AM	#10 (permalink)
TheNiceGuy Living under the bridge Join Date: May 2011 Location: Australia Posts: 317	Okay song number 2, This one's called World on My Shoulders. It's about the trepidation and guilt people feel when they want to break up, and the relief that some of them get when they tell the other person. One of my good friend's had a situation like this which gave me the seed for the lyrics. 2. World on My Shoulders Now look at me walking, All alone down the road, Nobody is talking, They all just watch and stare, But little do they know, I am no longer there, The World's on my shoulders, And the pain that it gives me, Has made her much colder, Those throwaway glances, They all want to hate me, When I've done nothing wrong, Little shots of hatred, That unthinking venom, Would I be better dead? My innocence fading, Got no where to run now, My life a dark shading, The World's on my shoulders, Bearing down on my soul, I'm leaving I told her, I tell her I want out, She no longer listen's, She just stand's there and shouts, I'm free from her clutches, The end of those cold looks, And in sincere touches, The World's off my shoulders, I can walk out alright, And leave the shame on her, __________________ My Music Review Blog-It's Only Rock 'n' Roll There is no Dark Side of the Moon really, matter of fact it's all dark...

12-17-2011, 07:14 AM	#2 (permalink)
Salami Get in ma belly Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Derbyshire Posts: 1,385	I liked that. What songs inspired you? "First of the Gang to Die" by Morrissey comes to mind. I think we should set it to music!

12-18-2011, 08:06 AM	#6 (permalink)
Salami Get in ma belly Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Derbyshire Posts: 1,385	Very good idea. I just need to find someone who can sing!

12-18-2011, 05:18 PM	#8 (permalink)
Salami Get in ma belly Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Derbyshire Posts: 1,385	I'm very interested in that chorus: "You're not the man you could've been/oooh Johnny Johnny/You're not the guy you should've been". I think I can imagine Costello singing that very well.