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11-12-2011, 08:02 AM | #1 (permalink) |
Groupie
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: canada
Posts: 1
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i woke up at 4 am and started writing..its a little rough and nowhere near done
Let me know what you think so far now this is my first post so take it easy
title: Inspiration Your like a dream... its like your not even there. i reach out to touch you, and you disappear. Your smile so sweet your my inspiration. My way through life My desperation. my goals my dreams my inspiration my heart my mind my inspiration You can take it all And yes i know its very short right now cause its not finished :p and thats where it ends. Right now i am in the process of finishing, ill take any bad or good thoughts! |
11-23-2011, 09:24 AM | #2 (permalink) |
Groupie
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 3
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Im a songwriter myself and although i dont know your style, I might suggest something like this for the lyrics, you dont have to listen to me, just my thoughts:
Your like a dream I guess it seems Like your not even there My hand through your hair Although it's not real For one second I can feel ................ |
11-23-2011, 07:43 PM | #3 (permalink) | |
Account Disabled
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 526
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Quote:
Just my opinion of course. |
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11-30-2011, 05:16 AM | #5 (permalink) | |
Passerby
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Void
Posts: 310
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Quote:
There is nothing bad about it. It's your thoughts, and, you are trying to express them, so, don't let people discourage you from that. I would simply suggest to follow a pattern of structure and rhyme. Google 'rhythmic structure', and, look at some lyrics to some of your favorite songs, and study the patterns. And, don't let a boy or man mix your mind up to the point of writing poetry They are not worth it. "Treat em like crap, and they'll love you for it". If you don't keep em guessing, they will always wonder if they can do better. That is over a half-century of Wisdom you just can't buy anywhere And, that is coming from a man who knows men, and Loves women. Tom Petty I am kidding, but, I am seriously kidding. peace
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The passing traveler stops for food and music. Last edited by blankety blank; 11-30-2011 at 05:27 AM. Reason: text |
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