New writer... opinions/tips please!

desmond · 08-31-2011, 06:55 PM

Hi, I've just decided to start writing as a bit of a creative outlet and was looking for an independent opinion. I wrote this poem about facing anxiety, I keep thinking it sounds a bit contrived and forced and was wondering if anyone could hopefully give me some tips to get over this in my writing.

Pass through a lonely street
Heart pounds out the devils beat
Crave the end, admit defeat
Then find, alone, you are elite

Brace yourself to face the fears
They plagued for all these years
Hold on back a flood of tears
Until the fog of battle clears

Stand up tall, your limit's none
The light in you shines brightly on
And when the hellish dark is gone
Know this nightmare's battle's won.

Thanks for reading, I'd really appreciate any feedback.

08-31-2011, 06:55 PM	#1 (permalink)
desmond Groupie Join Date: Aug 2011 Posts: 1	New writer... opinions/tips please! Hi, I've just decided to start writing as a bit of a creative outlet and was looking for an independent opinion. I wrote this poem about facing anxiety, I keep thinking it sounds a bit contrived and forced and was wondering if anyone could hopefully give me some tips to get over this in my writing. Pass through a lonely street Heart pounds out the devils beat Crave the end, admit defeat Then find, alone, you are elite Brace yourself to face the fears They plagued for all these years Hold on back a flood of tears Until the fog of battle clears Stand up tall, your limit's none The light in you shines brightly on And when the hellish dark is gone Know this nightmare's battle's won. Thanks for reading, I'd really appreciate any feedback.