Rawest rap battles thread

Surell · 09-21-2014, 08:40 PM

Talk a lot about my ass and a lot about my dick
Well why don't you take your pick and I'll send your ass a pic
No more long nights lonely, you won't have to fantasize
I'ma give you christmas early and lay the truth before your eyes
If it'll get you off my jock then I'm just happy to cop
I don't like bein objectified but even less to be bothered
Like flies to a corpse keep beatin a dead horse
I might crack your head open, let you understand remorse
I've seen brains in the streets, shit I'm the brain to these streets
Posted up like the overseer, bloodshot eyes on the creeps
Bit a coke under my nose I hope my concern really shows
I just want my people on top fuckin hoes like donkey shows
Get bucked I hear one more peep from you though
No joke because I got a headache and you're being inconsiderate
Please stop buggin me, you ain't my kid, let me sleep you illegitimate
Just lay in your crib and keep tellin them fibs
Shit you said fibs, had me rollin on the floor at my crib
Tattle tale ass with a rattle in your fist
In the battle thread like you kinda legitimate
I'm critter rich, now come off that sugar high, rappin all jitterish
Too boring to be gibberish
Rappin like its plainsong, monastic and piss poor with your rhetoric
Watch a real devil settle it
I might fuck around and hit your chest and undo your skeleton

toosik · 09-22-2014, 03:38 AM

wow, you rhymed crib with fibs, then next line it was fibs with crib,
What a trooper!
but to be fair to ya, you had just drunk yourself into a stupor,
you were typing with one eye closed just to see your computer.
don't worry though, i put that sh.it in the bin wit a pooper scooper
and now its time to tear you to shreds like Freddy Kruger,
i also love how you just put words in then don't rhyme with it,
like 'skeleton', it was evident that with each line you sniffed,
you got less intelligent, more irrelevant, sounding just like a whining b.itch.
you went from being American to speaking Mexican, even at one point i think you mimed a bit,
you set your precedent, and now you're hesitant, cos even you know your rhymes are ****.
but mine are sick, you're asinine you prick, so now its time to quit.
no one's ever said, "surell, yeah sure I've heard of him",
at least not unless it was your workmates on the line at burger king
or those school kids you've spent so much time on nurturing,
a few sweets, a bit of pot, then next time you're murdering.

Surell · 09-22-2014, 11:41 PM

When I come around the clouds get all complicated
Rockin Majora's Mask with absente in my flask
Kickin rhymes like it ain't way past your bedtime
Stick to kick ball and gettin your ass whipped
Gettin pelted with spitballs and wishin it'd all end
Carvin Metallica lyrics on the back of ya arm
Eatin dick like crumpets and blowin the shits like trumpets
I'ma keep this brief cuz I'm done hearin you queef
Keep lookin up but I'ma put you down like a cancerous mutt

toosik · 09-23-2014, 02:16 AM

i know you tried but that was a bit fuc.king sh.it,
you shouldn't try to rap while your mouth has got a dick stuck in it.
the truth is sh.it comes out your mouth when you talk like its a catheter,
you should save today's date on a calendar, cos its a massacre,
today's the day you found out that you're amateur, i'm gonna damage ya,
then stick the calendar up your aperture, until your ass is sore.
i 'm a matador, you think you a bull but you a Labrador,
you wanna battle more? that's what my daggers for.
just cos you buy your clothes from a thrift shop, don't make you Macklemore
but you must be tired now, you're older that a commodore,
so one tap on your jaw, and you'll be gone for sure,
knocked the fuc.k out laying pon the floor.

Surell · 09-23-2014, 02:27 AM

Pon the floor you say?
You'd be glad just to get a stalemate
Rhymin like a scholastic
I'm Spinoza poppin pussies like elastic
Glock automatic rock a golden magnum
that's two loaded and cocked
Cap both your eyes and dip in one of two gallants
So I'm lionel richie fly? PLUS a lion on the mic??
I'm just a griffin, **** i'm gryffindor
Slytherin kids get mirked for sure
Shore to shore coast 2 coast
I don't even gotta boast
Whole villages seek me out
But live in fear and alongside ghosts
It's shit that i orchestrated and shamelessly perpetrated
So keep thinkin you're elevated while I ready my regulations

toosik · 09-23-2014, 06:46 AM

was that a Harry Potter reference? sh.it, have you ht puberty,
i saw a bit of the first one but refused to watch number 2 or 3,
i think that proves to me, what type of boy that you must be,
irrefutably, your mum watches over you when you do a wee,
then makes you wash your hands while she wipes the splashes from your booster seat.
now that i know how young you are, i'll taunt you much less brutally,
but if you keep wasting my time all i'll be writing is your eulogy.
let me word this truthfully, so there's no ambiguity,
my ingenuity leaves you exposed like you showing nudity.
but i've battled kids on here before, so it's nothing new to me.

Surell · 09-24-2014, 11:56 AM

So glad we could get a little insight to your life
Now I know you're not a robot just transmitting Eminem lines
Rather, a sentient being consciously biting Eminem's rhymes
Now I see why readin your ****'s like bitin into limes
Seriously dude, try sayin actual **** instead of buildin little rhyme schemes
But I guess you sayin something real is yet another pipe dream
A nice dream, and i could show you real **** but never mind me
Stay in a world of fantasy where you lick on Em's dick like melting ice cream

toosik · 09-24-2014, 11:59 AM

no response for a while, i can see you're losing confidence,
is it a consequence, of you seeing your own incompetence?
even someone sitting on the fence, would tell you of toosik's dominance,
and all that the sh.it you talk just makes you seem incontinent.
you've been 'silent all these years' like Tori Amos,
but to be fair you have had your mate Seamus hanging out of your anus,
but keep writing sh.it poetry and one day you'll be famous,
here's a title for your album... Shameless Ignoramus.
i know you get your kicks from some sh.it recital faction,
but only cos you're no longer taking dick from your idol Michael Jackson,
i know thats harsh, don't have a suicidal reaction,
or get homicidal, or sue me for some libel action

Surell · 09-24-2014, 12:24 PM

Like silk hats on a corny pile of ****
Kid tryna spit like he had em's kid
Oh no! I get it now, MC Haley on the mic
Be a good tyke and while I smoke this blunt go ride your trike
Keep steppin to me you're bound to hit a trap door
In the trap house, get stabbed dark blood all on your blouse
I only **** with bad bitches like black widows and rabid labs
I'll even stitch you up edge of death to watch you bleed again
Yeah you really got me backin up, lookin like Raggedy Ann
If you look within, I bet you'll still find my hand
Remember who re stuffed you, you can still get unraveled
You're tryin way too hard man, just take some time off and travel

toosik · 09-24-2014, 04:35 PM

Dont worry I won't step on a trap door, thats for sure,
But you should relax more,
And spend less time with some dude hanging out of ya back door, isn't that sore?
Mate your chats bore,
So its lucky we not keeping score on a blackboard.
Next time you come back for more, you'll get a cracked jaw
Seriously your lyrics are that poor, it was by far your worst one yet,
Even your mum wept, cos you going down like sunset,
You've begun to sweat, I suspect that bum sex,
Has made you get so dumb yep, and I haven't yet become vexed.
Don't get offended I'm just here to adjudicate,
But your rhymes stink so bad I just had to fuc.king fumigate,
Its a compliment that you think eminems my duplicate,
Unless you being racist in which case it's something I'd refuse to take,
The truth is mate, it'd be great if we could communicate,
But your heads so far up your ass that every dude you date,
You refuse to fuc.king lubricate.
You stick it up straight, for fuc.ks sake,
At least don't cover up his face with so much duct tape,
I knew you liked a rough rape, but he's in such a state,
He's one step away from starring in a snuff tape.
I know you've had a tough day,
Worked ten hours in burger king for fifty bucks pay,
Your boss takes the piss cos you're gay and calls you cupcake,
But what do you expect when you sucked his mate.

09-22-2014, 03:38 AM	#202 (permalink)
toosik Music Addict Join Date: Mar 2014 Location: UK Posts: 82	wow, you rhymed crib with fibs, then next line it was fibs with crib, What a trooper! but to be fair to ya, you had just drunk yourself into a stupor, you were typing with one eye closed just to see your computer. don't worry though, i put that sh.it in the bin wit a pooper scooper and now its time to tear you to shreds like Freddy Kruger, i also love how you just put words in then don't rhyme with it, like 'skeleton', it was evident that with each line you sniffed, you got less intelligent, more irrelevant, sounding just like a whining b.itch. you went from being American to speaking Mexican, even at one point i think you mimed a bit, you set your precedent, and now you're hesitant, cos even you know your rhymes are ****. but mine are sick, you're asinine you prick, so now its time to quit. no one's ever said, "surell, yeah sure I've heard of him", at least not unless it was your workmates on the line at burger king or those school kids you've spent so much time on nurturing, a few sweets, a bit of pot, then next time you're murdering.

09-23-2014, 02:16 AM	#204 (permalink)
toosik Music Addict Join Date: Mar 2014 Location: UK Posts: 82	i know you tried but that was a bit fuc.king sh.it, you shouldn't try to rap while your mouth has got a dick stuck in it. the truth is sh.it comes out your mouth when you talk like its a catheter, you should save today's date on a calendar, cos its a massacre, today's the day you found out that you're amateur, i'm gonna damage ya, then stick the calendar up your aperture, until your ass is sore. i 'm a matador, you think you a bull but you a Labrador, you wanna battle more? that's what my daggers for. just cos you buy your clothes from a thrift shop, don't make you Macklemore but you must be tired now, you're older that a commodore, so one tap on your jaw, and you'll be gone for sure, knocked the fuc.k out laying pon the floor.

09-23-2014, 06:46 AM	#206 (permalink)
toosik Music Addict Join Date: Mar 2014 Location: UK Posts: 82	was that a Harry Potter reference? sh.it, have you ht puberty, i saw a bit of the first one but refused to watch number 2 or 3, i think that proves to me, what type of boy that you must be, irrefutably, your mum watches over you when you do a wee, then makes you wash your hands while she wipes the splashes from your booster seat. now that i know how young you are, i'll taunt you much less brutally, but if you keep wasting my time all i'll be writing is your eulogy. let me word this truthfully, so there's no ambiguity, my ingenuity leaves you exposed like you showing nudity. but i've battled kids on here before, so it's nothing new to me.

09-24-2014, 11:59 AM	#208 (permalink)
toosik Music Addict Join Date: Mar 2014 Location: UK Posts: 82	no response for a while, i can see you're losing confidence, is it a consequence, of you seeing your own incompetence? even someone sitting on the fence, would tell you of toosik's dominance, and all that the sh.it you talk just makes you seem incontinent. you've been 'silent all these years' like Tori Amos, but to be fair you have had your mate Seamus hanging out of your anus, but keep writing sh.it poetry and one day you'll be famous, here's a title for your album... Shameless Ignoramus. i know you get your kicks from some sh.it recital faction, but only cos you're no longer taking dick from your idol Michael Jackson, i know thats harsh, don't have a suicidal reaction, or get homicidal, or sue me for some libel action

09-24-2014, 04:35 PM	#210 (permalink)
toosik Music Addict Join Date: Mar 2014 Location: UK Posts: 82	Dont worry I won't step on a trap door, thats for sure, But you should relax more, And spend less time with some dude hanging out of ya back door, isn't that sore? Mate your chats bore, So its lucky we not keeping score on a blackboard. Next time you come back for more, you'll get a cracked jaw Seriously your lyrics are that poor, it was by far your worst one yet, Even your mum wept, cos you going down like sunset, You've begun to sweat, I suspect that bum sex, Has made you get so dumb yep, and I haven't yet become vexed. Don't get offended I'm just here to adjudicate, But your rhymes stink so bad I just had to fuc.king fumigate, Its a compliment that you think eminems my duplicate, Unless you being racist in which case it's something I'd refuse to take, The truth is mate, it'd be great if we could communicate, But your heads so far up your ass that every dude you date, You refuse to fuc.king lubricate. You stick it up straight, for fuc.ks sake, At least don't cover up his face with so much duct tape, I knew you liked a rough rape, but he's in such a state, He's one step away from starring in a snuff tape. I know you've had a tough day, Worked ten hours in burger king for fifty bucks pay, Your boss takes the piss cos you're gay and calls you cupcake, But what do you expect when you sucked his mate.