My Book of Rhymes

djchameleon · 01-12-2011, 10:04 AM

I'm going to be posting some of my creative works here. Most of them are poems and not just rhymes as the title suggests I just liked that name.

I'm very hard on myself when it comes to writing poetry. I feel like I should be writing them at a higher level but I just write down what ever comes to me naturally even if it isn't the most complicated work alive.

I'm going to start with the ones that I'm more proud of and my stronger ones then taper off into some of my other ones that are a bit iffy.

djchameleon · 01-12-2011, 10:09 AM

I'm going to start with one rhyme that's pretty much an introduction to my poem persona

FLC
----
FLC , if you don't know what that means
let me take some time to explain who I be
I'm the fun loving criminal, spitting rhymes and lyrics that are subliminal, touching your conscious as I raise above the nonsense,
that surrounds me and the hip hop industry.
Gun, knives and bling bling is the image and lifestyle,
that will get you locked up in sing sing.
Too many rappers out there are just posers.
When will they wake up and see that trying to act gangsta,
will not help them to be,
better......lyricists

djchameleon · 01-12-2011, 10:14 AM

Revolving Door
--------------

Ladies come and ladies go, like a revolving door.
Some never come back but most come back for the mack,
that is embedded in me, cuz i clearly show them how beautiful they are inside and out like a shining star.
I build self esteems to help them go far
and make sure they know that they are above par.
Par is the level in golf that they expect you to make,
you beautiful women exceed that by far with just a little shake,
you are able to take any mans heart. Some use and abuse this ability.
Once they have a mans heart , it is folded and molded like play dough. having a man confused not knowing whether he wants to come or go. Sometimes, I just sit back and admire the strength and power women.
Too many of them don't know the power they posses.
Physical....Verbal....Emotional abuse, I believe they shouldn't take these conditions of life anymore
and stop....the....revolving.....door.

djchameleon · 01-12-2011, 10:26 AM

Natural Born Instigator
----------------------

Everyone wants to be drama-free
what kind of world would that be?
It would be very very sad to see
I'm sent here to bring controversy
There is a vicious evil that hides inside
hating all of those who want to commit suicide
Selfish bastards always wanna run and hide
loving all the insecurity and hypocrisy
that gives me the shit needed to be
Natural Born Instigator, here to rile up all them haters.
Can't believe I waited this long, half them haters aint even strong.
Pain and hurt gets me off, i'm finding out mad peeps are soft
Can't even handle life, so I would just toss them a knife.
Go ahead
Make it quick
I aint here to fucking babysit
No one even really cares, remember your moms she was never there.
Your so-called friends aren't even here.

djchameleon · 01-12-2011, 10:30 AM

Love Poisoning
--------------

She spots me from across the room
My intuition senses impending doom
her icy gaze strikes a blow
sending shivers from head to toe
I feel a pinch on my arm like a snake bite
trying to fight back this disease with all my might
fists begin to clench and become tight
As my heart races the brain paces
back and forth. Logic is slowly beginning to fade.
What has this man eater made?
A man shackled in the chains of love.
Wondering when he will be set free like a dove.

Arya Stark · 01-12-2011, 06:04 PM

It looks to me like you need to try to be more creative with what you use. The things that you're writing are either cliche or just not creative. Try thinking of better rhymes or something to really make these your own.

Quote:

Ladies come and ladies go, like a revolving door

It's very bland. Try changing the words around or adding or subtracting words, changing the order of the words so that it flows better. I am in no way a rapper or a rhymer but I am a poet and I am a listener.

Maybe something like: Ladies come or they leave, ladies get here and they're gone

Something like that, just to make it better for listening, does that make sense?
You don't have to take my advice, I'm just telling you what I think.

djchameleon · 01-12-2011, 06:07 PM

I get what you are saying....If I did that I would end up having to re-word the whole thing

yeah I have so much more cliche type ones to post....I will get those out of the way and hopefully work on some new ones

djchameleon · 01-12-2011, 06:22 PM

Sin City
--------

In the seedy underbelly of a city filled with righteousness.
Church buildings litter the city like an infestation out of control.
These structures , strategically placed embodied in holiness,
houses the most corrupt and evil with rising numbers like a death toll.
They utilize a belief to gain false respect while looking down upon gays that they reject.
The bible is used to mask their hypocrisy.
An old text who's true meaning has been lost in translation,
members within the church practice their mockery.
Never learning the proper way of communication
If you don't donate money to their church you are destined to live your afterlife in hell
Billions followed the words of one man standing in a pulpit as if he has them under some spell.
Their supposed mission on earth is to convert others to their way of life but they don't notice how much they discriminate against those that are different.
Why would there be a need for so many churches in one area?
What would happen if there was one church that all the cultist went to?
These people need to worry about when they finally meet their god what will they do?

Arya Stark · 01-12-2011, 06:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by djchameleon

I get what you are saying....If I did that I would end up having to re-word the whole thing

yeah I have so much more cliche type ones to post....I will get those out of the way and hopefully work on some new ones

Well I mean, if rewording it is what's going to make it really good, isn't that what you want?

djchameleon · 01-12-2011, 06:30 PM

Bottom Feeder
--------------

Walking into a party filled with beautiful people
who say the ugliest things.
glancing around the commotion
I start to become sea sick by looking at all the motions
made by guys looking for a freaky chick
the ugly ducklings with sweet personalities don't get the time of day
wading through the egos I make my way over to
the lonely....despondent.....dismayed
like a bottom feeder I move in for my meal
like a catfish at the bottom of a fish tank is how I feel.
usually known as a sure thing
the vulture in me becomes king
circling around my dead prey
swooping down to devour
the corpse injured and still would just lay
talking to her leaving a bitter taste in my mouth,
even a bit sour
one, two , three special iced teas
this ugly duckling instantly becomes a swan
whispering in her ear persuading her to come home with me
laying in bed with her the bottom feeder in me slithers away
as the night turns to dawn