feedback please

MaximumFlow · 11-12-2010, 09:42 PM

this is just a random thing i did off the top of my head so i just want some feed back good or bad.

[...] i talk the talk and i walk the talk all u haters suck my f'ckin ****, late night convo on the telephone call up lady gaga everybody's laughin like haha, but this aint slim shady, baby but shady made me, now watch out for my fade away jump shot, im so hot you gon need them sun glasses i look at asses just for fun i blow away the fog just so i can watch you walk cuz me without you's kinda like dog with no bun, step up in my ride and i escape the high tide got my hair dyed and i dare you touch it man it's like dutch cuz my name is van ****.

(my last name's van ****)

Freebase Dali · 11-12-2010, 09:52 PM

That pretty much sucked, in my opinion. But then again, I think most rhymes that come out of the mouths of a lot world-known/successful rappers suck. So it could just be me...

ravenRAWRRR · 11-12-2010, 10:36 PM

that.was.iiinteresting.
im not saying that i disagree w/ u freebase... im not saying that AT ALL.
what is ur last name btw? cuz i didnt get that part cuz of the stars so it ddnt rlly rhyme...

Freebase Dali · 11-12-2010, 10:47 PM

Dyke.

~~someonecompletelyrandom~~ · 11-12-2010, 10:51 PM

Alright lyriscism. Lyrics themselves weren't too bad. Actually pretty funny. Sounds a bit like you're inspired by peak-years Eminem. While that's fine, just know that those kinds of flows and subject matter have worn off now. Just be careful not to bite another rapper's style.

MaximumFlow · 11-13-2010, 10:38 AM

my last name is Van **** which is a dutch name. Yea a bit of inspiration from early Em but yea i try not to completely rip his style

ravenRAWRRR · 11-14-2010, 01:32 AM

its still not showing what ur name is! and the stars make be currious! lol.
s.p.e.l.l i.t l.i.k.e t.h.i.s

LoathsomePete · 11-14-2010, 10:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ravenRAWRRR

its still not showing what ur name is! and the stars make be currious! lol.
s.p.e.l.l i.t l.i.k.e t.h.i.s

Quote:

Originally Posted by Freebase Dali

Dyke.

That's what it is.

**Janszoon** · 11-14-2010, 11:55 AM

Are you guys sure it's not Van Cock?

ravenRAWRRR · 11-14-2010, 12:29 PM

D y k e doesnt rhyme.
and i cant think of any other words to rhyme in that line that WOULD be censored...
THE MYSTERY CONTINUES!

11-12-2010, 09:42 PM	#1 (permalink)
MaximumFlow Groupie Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Da USA Posts: 15	feedback please this is just a random thing i did off the top of my head so i just want some feed back good or bad. [...] i talk the talk and i walk the talk all u haters suck my f'ckin **, late night convo on the telephone call up lady gaga everybody's laughin like haha, but this aint slim shady, baby but shady made me, now watch out for my fade away jump shot, im so hot you gon need them sun glasses i look at asses just for fun i blow away the fog just so i can watch you walk cuz me without you's kinda like dog with no bun, step up in my ride and i escape the high tide got my hair dyed and i dare you touch it man it's like dutch cuz my name is van . (my last name's van **)

11-12-2010, 10:36 PM	#3 (permalink)
ravenRAWRRR Music Addict Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: In a car under water... Posts: 82	that.was.iiinteresting. im not saying that i disagree w/ u freebase... im not saying that AT ALL. what is ur last name btw? cuz i didnt get that part cuz of the stars so it ddnt rlly rhyme... __________________ "Flip my world inside out, honestly I like it better this way. When I mesh the night through the back of my eyes."

11-14-2010, 01:32 AM	#7 (permalink)
ravenRAWRRR Music Addict Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: In a car under water... Posts: 82	its still not showing what ur name is! and the stars make be currious! lol. s.p.e.l.l i.t l.i.k.e t.h.i.s __________________ "Flip my world inside out, honestly I like it better this way. When I mesh the night through the back of my eyes."

11-14-2010, 11:55 AM	#9 (permalink)
Janszoon Mate, Spawn & Die Join Date: May 2007 Location: The Rapping Community Posts: 24,593	Are you guys sure it's not Van Cock? __________________ A Night in the Life of the Invisible Man Time & Place 25 Albums You Should Hear Before the Moon Crashes into the Earth and We All Die last.fm

11-14-2010, 12:29 PM	#10 (permalink)
ravenRAWRRR Music Addict Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: In a car under water... Posts: 82	D y k e doesnt rhyme. and i cant think of any other words to rhyme in that line that WOULD be censored... THE MYSTERY CONTINUES! __________________ "Flip my world inside out, honestly I like it better this way. When I mesh the night through the back of my eyes."

11-12-2010, 09:52 PM	#2 (permalink)
Freebase Dali Partying on the inside Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 5,584	That pretty much sucked, in my opinion. But then again, I think most rhymes that come out of the mouths of a lot world-known/successful rappers suck. So it could just be me...

11-12-2010, 10:47 PM	#4 (permalink)
Freebase Dali Partying on the inside Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 5,584	Dyke.

11-12-2010, 10:51 PM	#5 (permalink)
~~someonecompletelyrandom~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 4,538	Alright lyriscism. Lyrics themselves weren't too bad. Actually pretty funny. Sounds a bit like you're inspired by peak-years Eminem. While that's fine, just know that those kinds of flows and subject matter have worn off now. Just be careful not to bite another rapper's style.

11-13-2010, 10:38 AM	#6 (permalink)
MaximumFlow Groupie Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Da USA Posts: 15	my last name is Van **** which is a dutch name. Yea a bit of inspiration from early Em but yea i try not to completely rip his style