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12-08-2010, 01:33 PM | #13 (permalink) |
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 4,538
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Thanks for listening, guys. This is my new song that I'm kind of proud of. It's the first time I think I pinned down the style I'd like to pursue.
Listen Carry This Burden the circles of a vulture round top my grave give chills to my widow and redemption to my name when I lived I was rabbid and fearful of the sting hid inside my corner ignored the blessings it would bring You'll carry this burden while you're a young man Grow old and look back satisfied I'll watch the inside While they're looking down In the end, at least I tried I've cradled my comfort in the open arms of strangers because family won't matter be it sooner or be it later siblings who drown in afterbirth be they brothers or be they aunts haunt the shallow ghost of a family on the ropes You'll carry this burden while you're a young man Grow old and look back satisfied I'll watch the inside While they're looking down In the end, at least I tried |
12-14-2010, 11:09 AM | #15 (permalink) |
...here to hear...
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: He lives on Love Street
Posts: 4,444
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I was really surprised by the quality of your song - sounds great to me. This is what I liked best :
The slow strumming of the guitar is very effective and your voice gives no clue about your age. In a similar way, there is something ambiguous about the lyrics: they convey a sense of unease, but on first listening, I don`t know about what. Also, by using words like "widow" and "redemption" it sounds like the song could have come from some other era, which is a nice touch. What do I know ? Nothing about composing, that`s for sure, but if I was to be critical, I`d say the mention of a vulture in the first line sounds a bit melodramatic. (A crow is also black, but isn`t such a doom-laden bird.) Likewise the line about siblings/afterbirth seemed a bit excessive to me - but then you bounce back with " a family on the ropes ", which for me is the best phrase in the song. Altogether, it`s an excellent piece of music, so no more talk about "crap", please ! |
12-25-2010, 12:57 AM | #17 (permalink) |
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Join Date: Nov 2008
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hey guys. I've got a new one. it's the first rock song I've written in over a year, and i gotta admit it was a refreshing change of pace.
Play direct: International House of Pork Play on ReverbNation: International House of Pork I think it's possible we've lived this life before Same ol' days roll by / same ol' wanting more Same ol' sinking of this ugly world of men Blend apart be different / follow every trend It'll only hurt for a while I've given up trying to fight it Life is wasted or I pretend until the end Either they are prophets or they are liars I'm just too conflicted to stand It'll only hurt for a while |
01-18-2011, 12:03 AM | #18 (permalink) |
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 4,538
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new song I recorded
Planet Plane They called me from a clown car they described as a police cruiser looking down at the long drop shuffle cars and swallow all the rain Planet Plane coughing up the dryrot I always knew I'd be a loser don't think of hitchhikers never sacrifice without a little pain Planet Plane (coughing ) |