Jambon

Hey MusicBanterers, I've been browsing this forum for a few weeks and I was inspired to write some music of my own. I figured I'd write a song expressing my dislike of Mayo, and have it go through several major music genres, including deathmetal and jazz and many more. I realize there's a few typos in the song, but I spend about 3 weeks writing it and I'm super tired, so I'll correct those after I get some sleep. So please read through this and comment/critique as much as you can in good conscience.



Mayo: The Birth of Crap
You know that thing, *Snap**Snap* That's in your fridge *Snap* You see at day, *Snap* you taste at night,
That desperate food, *Snap* Without a Mood! Called Mayo, it's Mayo, oh yeah!
You try it once it once and you die a little, you try some more and you make some spittle!
Like Mr. Biddles bank, Andrew Jackson will destroy it. It's called Mayooooooooooo!å

Guitar Solo!!!!
You got Mayo in your pocket, you got Mayo on your jeans! You got all this Mayo cuz you'z a human bein'!
It's white like death, and it's cold like dying! It slides down your throat and you think you CHOKE!!!!
It's the food with no mood, called Mayo, it's Mayo, oh Yeah!!!!!

*Rap* I know what choo think, why we's raggin on duh Mayos?
Cuz it tastes like crap and it don't pay my bialls!
It can't wash my feet or run a race!
Because white is the Mayos real life race!

Now I know *Snap**Snap* you hate this filth *Snap**Snap* But you must have it *Snap**Snap*
Cuz your out of moneyyyyyyy! And when you got no money! *Snap**Snap* You gotta eat dat Mayo! Spread it on some crackers, *Repeats,* Shove it down your throat *I really hope you choke*

Mayo's a piece of crap, *It tastes like crap,*
Mayo's a piece of crap, *It's sure like crap!*
Mayo's a piece of crap....
The desperate food, without a mood! It's Mayo, it Mayo, oh YEAH!!!!!!!!!

Baby vomit and doggy poopoo makes something out that looks like you- OH!
But back to Mayo now, you ugaly mug, this stuffs so bad, it tastes like drugs!
Though it's the same color, the textures so different. Unless you do the Mayo drug...
The Mayo drug!
The Mayo drug!
The Mayo drug!
You ugaly mug!
The Mayo drug, it tastes like Craaa *Voice bend like Jurrassic park* appp!!!!
Dearly Beloved.
There's a thing called love. And it's manifested itself in the form... of Mayo.

You know that thing, *Snap**Snap* That's in your fridge *Snap* You see at day, *Snap* you taste at night,
That desperate food, *Snap* Without a Mood! Called Mayo, it's Mayo, oh yeah!
It makes you sad! It turns you gay! It kills your babies! *It kills your babies* **It kills your babies, honey*
I love those cute, little fluffy things. They come out of girls, like you and me. But were not here to talk, about those little guys,
Were here to talk about the stuff that Kills Em!
BAAAHHHH MAYO!!!!! MAYO!!! IT MAKES THEM BARF OUT THEYRE BOWELS, AND BURSTS THEIR LITTLE HEARTS!!!
IT TURNS THERE SOFT SKIN, INSIDE OUT!
Drum solo!!!

The Mayo, The Mayo, The Mayo, The MEYO! *Repeating*
Five, five dollar Mayo! Any Mayo! All the Mayo!

Stop!

I'm gonna shoot you! With a bullet of Mayo! And son, That has a higher survivale rate than if you actually eat the crap!
Jazz part!
Skiddly diddly boobaly... I'm the crap Man! Skibadallibally Radadaitally! I love the Mayo!
Cause I'm the crap man! I can't stop crapping. Right in my pa-ants Eat to much Mayoooooooo!!!
I'm full of crap like those news men, I'm full of crap like the men in DC.
I'm full of crap like a politician. I'm full of crap, like you and me!

Heavy Bass-line

You know that thing, *Snap**Snap* That's in your fridge *Snap* You see at day, *Snap* you taste at night,
That desperate food, *Snap* Without a Mood! Called Mayo, it's Mayo, oh yeah!

This has been Mayo, the birth.. Of crap.

TheCunningStunt

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Dirty

Jambon

Come on guys, REALLY? God damn, I just want some real critiques.

VEGANGELICA

Ha ha! There was a lot of humor in those lyrics, Jambon. They made me chuckle quite a bit, such as when you wrote, "I'm gonna shoot you! With a bullet of Mayo!" and went off on little tangents in the song.

Using different genres for the different sections like you've planned should make the song even funnier. It might be on the long side, though. You could probably remove some chunks without losing much of the punch of the song.

I'm with you on hating mayo, by the way...although I feel *vegan* mayo is tasty and nutritious, since it is made with canola oil and soy protein.

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ravenRAWRRR

true!!! ENCORE ENCORE!!!!

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"Flip my world inside out, honestly I like it better this way. When I mesh the night through the back of my eyes."

James

I REALLY wana hear this recorded. Sounds like Primus.

Dirty

Miracle Whip > Mayo


As borderline retarded as this song plays out in my head, I would do near anything to hear you record this somehow.

Dayvan Cowboy

You should win an award for this beautiful, heartfelt lyrical masterpiece. 8765865/100

TheCunningStunt

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