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11-29-2010, 06:32 PM | #31 (permalink) | |
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12-07-2010, 11:02 AM | #33 (permalink) | |
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Join Date: Jun 2009
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Finally, my review of your mixtape
Hi Dirty,
I finally listened to your whole collection of songs that I downloaded several weeks ago. I am writing to give you my feedback on each song. I typed up my impressions as I listened, thinking they may be helpful in telling you what features in your songs stand out especially to me: Mixtape: “Built to Be Filthy” by Dirty Curt (1) “All Scientific.” This is the second time I’ll listen to the song, so I’m curious what I’ll think now. Here we go! I wonder who is talking in the sultry clip. Is he some famous singer I should know? Nice beat at 1:30. Ah yes...this is a song about your rap prowess! Nice rhythm, rhyming and flow of syllables...for a white guy! I wish you didn’t have all the “mother****ers” and “****s” in the song because they seem overused. I don’t understand the relationship between the lyrics about your abilities to rap and it being all scientific. But the overall song is pleasant. I like the little tinkling notes...rather like stars twinkling in the sky, so the sound seems appropriate since you mention stars in the song. (2) “Dirty.” Again a sort of sultry beginning. The vocal clip is about racial issues...a comedian. The song is about your mic skills. Ah..so I think the reason you used the clip, which is about derogatory racial stereotyping of black people, is to show how you, as a white man, face racial stereotyping when it comes to your rap music: people don’t expect you to be a proficient rapper because of your ethnicity. Like I wrote before, very good bragging! “I’m a turtle; you all are rabbits. It’s a tortoise race.” That line stuck out for me because I thought it was cute. “Magic mushrooms and peanut butter bread”– that line startled me and so I liked it. Uh-oh. Another “mother****er.” Why not ever “father****er?” I think you should write a song with “father****er” in it, because if you don’t, I think I will! “If you want to be a pussy, hit the litterbox!” Ha ha! That one made me laugh! That was rather clever. However, as the owner of a pussy, I might take slight offense, because women are among the strongest people I know. Is most rap misogynist? “Here I am, clean up on the surface, but dig deep, you’ll see I’m dirty as a wordsmith”– that’s a nice line, since you used assonance rhyming with the words “surface,” “dirty,” and “wordsmith.” I also like the repetition of d’s in dig, deep, and dirty. (3) “Drunk By Myself (I Miss Ya Kid)” - again, a sultry sound. A sweet song about missing someone, a friend and comrade. Ah. He died. Nice rhyming again. “It’s just another sour shot to blur up my vision as I waste another hour sittin’ drunk reminiscin’ about the good times, the sunshine, the ways that we felt.” Nice lines, those. So, the song is a memorial song. Very moving sentiments. And not a single “mother****er!” (4) “Goodbye.” Again a sultry beginning. Arghhhhh! More “mother****ers!” Now I KNOW I’m going to do a “father****er” song. The soft memories creeping in. I like the romantic introspection in this song. “I saw the world’s reflection in the dark of your eyes”– nice line. “Now I’m ****ing others but I’m calling out your name – it’s not the same” – I like the honesty of this line. “Love will set you free, they say; with me you were in prison, but anyways I hope you get to fly” is a nice summary of the song, I think...you wish someone well and regret that it didn’t work out because the person didn’t have the feelings that could sustain the relationship. The female vocals clip seems very appropriate for the song. (5) “Hollow” ...I like the beginning; it is flashier than the others. This is the second time I’ve heard the song, and I commented earlier on the lyrics in your thread. I like the violin! I also like it that you layer quite a few musical details (instruments and sounds) in the song. Like I wrote before, many of your songs are about your state of being and are introspective. My favorite line is still, “I’m confused at how it hurts so much to watch your lust turn to love and then back to dust. Was the lemon worth the squeeze?” So far, this is my favorite song on your mixtape, probably because the state it describes isn’t one to long for and you describe it so well. There is a self-centeredness to some of the songs that I thought I’d mention: they seem so inner directed somehow. Most of them are written in first person. I’m curious if you will do any songs that are story songs in 3rd person: “he was a...” etc. (6) “If I could feel” - once again, the beginning sounds like soul music. Nice vocal clip...very appropriate for the song. Ah! It’s a song about the sadness of war and violence! This must be the song you thought I’d like. The song is about people releasing their pain to free themselves. And you are wishing you could help them do so. I like these nice lines especially: “All the pain that you carrying, give it to me. I say let’s bury it. You know that I would. All the hurt that you’ve been carrying is doing no good. Know I’d feel every ounce of your pain, if I could.” Also, these lines stick in my mind: “It’s evident to me, we’re killing each other. Bunch of pregnant mothers smoking cigarettes who light up another, they’re not protecting what they’ve got in the womb. I think it’s twisted.” (I agree!) So, the song is about how people hurt each other due to the pain people store from the past. Your song is trying to encourage empathy and let people feel free to treat each other well instead of perpetuating a cycle of cruelty and disregard. I like the song and your views in it! So, Dirty, I see we agree on at least *one* thing. (7) “In God We Trust” - nice pitter-pat of drums at the beginning. Kind of scratchy sounding. The song plunges right into all the horrors in life. I love these lines of yours because they are so blunt and, I feel, true: “The Bible is fictional. Wasn’t meant to be taken by people literal. So let me sat it straight. The real version: Mary was a ****in’ ho with a kid. She’s not a virgin. They’re lying in your preacher’s sermon. Yes, we’ve all been deceived. People die young from rare disease as their prayers go unanswered.” Also, I like the sarcasm and irony in these lines: “Your god is loving but I guess he forgot about the people who used to live in a box. Where is your god again?” And then I was amused by this line: “So suck on my nuts!” You’re so crude! You’re so...dare I say...dirty! I like how you end with “ha.” I’d say now that THIS song is my favorite, because you state so boldly that you feel it makes no sense when people claim a god will take care of everything when the world is in such a mess. I’d like to listen to this song more than once. (8) “Just Remember.” You’ve got some of that scratchy record sound...sorry, I can’t remember the name! You know, when you wiggle the record back and forth. It’s a dead relationship song. “Keep emotions on your sleeve, you ruin shirts” – I like that line. It’s as if you acknowledge that you want to keep emotions on your sleeve, but sometimes doing so isn’t practical, because people will hurt you when you do. “Remember all the ugliness was beautiful once” - another nice line. I like how you discuss the lessons learned and wish the girl well: “I hope you’re doing well in the world...if you ever feel just like you’re falling under, don’t ever hesitate to call me up. You’ve got my number. These are the things I hope you’ll remember.” Those are very comforting lines. The song seemed to end too abruptly, I felt. I like it that many of your songs are very supportive of others. (9) “Only in America” - partly about people avoiding prison by proving insanity. This song troubled me somewhat because I know of some people who actually *are* suffering from mental illness and face criminal charges. I felt the topic of this song wandered around a little too much, targeting many problems and looking only on the bad side of situations rather than the good side. For example, people with mental illnesses are fortunate when the law treats them less harshly. If you did something awful while suffering from paranoia with delusions, I would hope your sentence would be less than that of the rational person who does the awful deed knowing full well that, say, a drowned child was a child and not a demon from hell. You have very strong views, and I like that you express them, though I think I don’t agree with all the ones you talk about in this song, but I should listen to it again. (10) “Say What” - this is the second time I’ve heard this song. I like the bouncy beat that comes in around 0:25 ...very peppy. Ah yes...a bragging song. “Writing wraps in the back of a laundry mat” - I liked that line because I find myself writing snatches of this and that in odd places. GAA! The audio clip had *another* mother****er!!! Why do people love the “mother****er” idea so much!? Maybe it’s because they like mothers so much. I suppose, as a mom, that isn’t a bad thing. I agree with you that songs can be too predictable. Your lyrics are clever. “I’ll erase them like an etch-a-sketch.” That line still amuses me. (11) “Souljah Of Peace.” A tranquil beginning. You like bell-like tones. “I hope every man will examine his conscience” says the vocal clip. “And the rights of every man are diminished when the rights of one man are threatened” – a nice quote with which I agree. Who is the speaker? He must be from the 60s? Ahh...President Kennedy’s murder is mentioned. 1:42 your voice enters...about the arguments and fights, violence, war, loved-ones causing the most pain. “We need to take blame and not excuses” - I like that line. Being strong enough to acknowledge blame and responsibility for wrongs committed is one of the qualities I admire most in people...and governments. “I’ll be a soldier of peace until I die.” That’s a very lovely sentiment, and I see how through your music you are trying to do that, and you are not light-handed about it. I think some people may find your message to be too straight-forward and obvious...but I like that you say what you mean and don’t mince words. You are, I feel, a social activist in your music and aren’t trying to hide that. (12) “Stay Strong” - YUM! I liked the strong beginning the best of all your songs. I don’t care for the voice that enters, but I like the instrumentals very much. I’d get rid of that whiney voice. Your vocals when they come in are a little faint, I think. 1:08 - arghh! That vocal clip comes in. Please, please, please get rid of it!!!!! Phew! 1:26 and you’re rapping again. The torture ends. Dirty, I can’t stand the vocal clip. I don’t know if that came across strongly or not in my review. Maybe it’s partly because the voice is just slightly out of tune with respect to your music. I like the heavy, somber piano very much because it gives the song intensity, even ferocity. I can’t really follow the meaning of the vocals. Too much reverb? Too faint? And at 3:00 the vocal clip again. I can’t understand what she is saying...but I wish she’d stop saying it!!!!!!!! (13) “We Be Shining” - a bragging song again. The boasting is pretty boastful, that’s for sure, since you say you’re like the sun! So, that’s pretty good bragging. “Bitch.” I noticed that word. I feel there may be too much reverb on your voice. I wish it were a bit crisper. “I shine like the divine.” Ooo! “You suckers should start praying.” Since you said a big part of rapping is bragging, I can’t find fault with the bragging. I didn’t realize until the end that you were in a duo! Your voices sound very similar to me, so they blend well. (14) “You Wanna Battle.” The song has a nice, lilting soul-like feeling. “I’ll disembowel you right now” - the lyrics seem in odd contrast with the almost happy-sounding song! Maybe it shows how rapping is peaceful war. Ooo! “I admit it I’m a pussy, but you are what you eat!” Clever line! You admit to the other rappers that you are supposedly weak, but then stick it to them by saying you’re that way because you have a lot of sex, supposedly an achievement among competing young males. I like how you take a potential putdown and turn it into something you feel is positive about you. The song ended too abruptly, I feel. Overall summary: I enjoyed listening to the songs, Dirty. Your playful, creative rhyming makes me think I may not be as indifferent to rapping as I thought I was. Have you ever considered breaking up a song by inserting sections where you actually sing? I felt the songs became fairly repetitive musically. Your lyrics were always interesting, but once a song started with a certain beat, or a certain set of sounds, it usually retained them to the very end, and so I found myself wanting more changes or musical development within a song. Thanks for sharing your music! I haven’t listened to much rap, but I felt yours surpassed many rap songs that I’ve heard because of the complexity and messages of your lyrics.
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Last edited by VEGANGELICA; 12-07-2010 at 11:20 AM. |
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12-07-2010, 03:35 PM | #34 (permalink) |
Dat's Der Bunny!
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Ireland
Posts: 1,088
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I'm gonna be brutally honest here because... well, there's no other way to be really, no point in mixing your words, eh? (though the irony of such a phrase in this thread isn't lost of me :P)
When I first saw this thread, I opened it with the intention of seeing if I was right about the kind of person you are. In general, I find your posts to be kind of annoying; you seem to enjoy provoking a reaction more than actually contributing to any discussion, and revel in aggravating people. You are quite often brash, uncaring, brutish and callous, but I can't quite figure out if it's because you don't care, you're really like that, or you're just joking around because you find it fun. I expected rhymes about how awesome you are, about how women should know their place and come back with a goddamn sandwich, things said in order to raise a reaction from as many people as possible. I found a series of well formed, (fairly) well produced (I have my qualms, which I will come to!), and surprisingly insightful and thoughtful subject matter. yeah, you have your fun every now and then, but I enjoyed listening to every track, and they have a mellow... optimism, to them, that I wasn't expecting. I downloaded the Tape, and I'm listening to it for a second time now cause it makes exceptional background music In some of the tracks, the vocals are too prominent; they stand out so much that it doesn't sound natural at all. "Hollow" to me has the right balance, whereas Scientific, for example, isn't. All however as still very much enjoyable, and insightful, and I'm glad I took the time for read and listen to this thread, if not for the reasons I thought!
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12-08-2010, 05:22 AM | #35 (permalink) | |
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But thank you very much for the response and critique. I agree with what you have to say about the vocals. They were actually even louder in most of the songs and then we turned them down somewhat. I don't think the beat and words gel as well as they could, but we aren't professionals or anything. We are two guys who just record and produce everything on a portable studio in a garage, so all things considered I think the production and everything sound pretty good. If I had a real studio to record in and some more people who know what they are doing production wise I think it would sounds even better, but it's not like I'm trying to get a record label or anything so I'm pretty happy with the product (even though on a few songs I rushed the endings lyrically cause I was running out of time). |
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12-08-2010, 05:29 AM | #36 (permalink) | |
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The part in bold is exactly what I hoped many people would gather from these tunes so that makes me happy Thank you for giving it a chance Vegan Also looking forward to hearing your "fatherfucker song |
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12-08-2010, 08:46 AM | #38 (permalink) | |
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Go for it ... Even for me, there are songs that are hit or miss. I don't really like We Be Shinin, You Wanna Battle, and I should have redone Stay Strong (one of the first songs i ever made)... But it's like that with pretty much every CD or mixtape or whatever. But I think there are at least a few song sont here for everybody. Vegan, in case you were wondering in Souljah Of Peace, the beginning speech sample is Ted kennedy I believe.. Follow by the news report of John F. Kennedy being shot. Hollow is my favorite song I've ever done. I wrote and recorded it before any of the other songs on the mixtape except Stay Strong and Only In America and I just love it, perhaps because it was really personal to me. |
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