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-   -   I write music, but I'm horrible with lyrics. Who wants to help me out? (https://www.musicbanter.com/song-writing-lyrics-poetry/50305-i-write-music-but-im-horrible-lyrics-who-wants-help-me-out.html)

leptoon 07-04-2010 03:41 PM

I write music, but I'm horrible with lyrics. Who wants to help me out?
 
Hi guys, first post here. Just came across this forum and figured I'd ask y'all for some help.

I've been making music for years, but I'm really bad with vocals/lyrics. That's where MusicBanter comes in. I need suggestions for lyrics. Here's a couple songs I wrote that I need vocals on.

When suggesting your lyrics, don't just tell me the words. I also want your opinion as to how it should be sung, what tone/pitch I should focus on, and any alterations to the song that you think would be beneficial for your choice of lyrics. I'm only going to make one final version of each song, so may the best writer win.

I've had to replace (.) with (DOT) in the links because I can't post URLs due to my low post count.

NC = Nearly Complete. These songs are almost 100%, but just need vocals and proper adjustment for said vocals.
IC = Incomplete. Songs with this status are not complete, and are only a representation of what I'm going for. They can be altered substantially depending on your suggestions and vocals.

The following songs are for my upcoming album, Dreams of a Possum.

Awe - NC - UPDATED
http://www.mediafire.com/?zlu2eztguxo

Theme of the Possum - NC
http://www.mediafire.com/?mqmzozimwjr

Hymn of the Possum - NC
http://www.mediafire.com/?dtdzjdhwije

New stuff (Untitled) - IC
http://www.mediafire.com/?fiuyzioz2jn

07-21-2010 UPDATE:
Happy Synth - NC
http://www.mediafire.com/?2f0nig6jz7xx5oj

I also welcome opinions and suggestions. Be as harsh or cruel as you want, I can take it. :yeah:

princessoftheyt725 07-04-2010 09:58 PM

from ur ♥
 
"when writing a song your lyrics have to come from the feeling your feeling at that moment you cant be in the best mood ever and write about how sad life is, and as for your pich well.. to be honest it depends what type of song and the mood of the song, but no matter what, nust make sure it comes from your heart... =)"

princessoftheyt725 07-04-2010 10:02 PM

"when writing music be that your lyrics are based on how your feeling at that moment if your in the best mood in the world dont write a song about how depressing life is and as for your pitch it all depends on the song and what yu u want the mood to be. but most importantly make sure your music comes for ♥ and represents who u are.. =)"

leptoon 07-05-2010 02:18 PM

Thanks for the advice, but I'm not looking for writing advice. I suck horribly at writing lyrics so I don't even want to try, but I'm pretty good at making the actual music. Just download my music and listen to it, you'll see what I mean.

I'm just giving people on this forum the opportunity to listen to/record their lyrics in actual music, rather than just to write them down. I might even partner up with someone if I like what I hear.

leptoon 07-06-2010 04:27 PM

170 views and 0 downloads. I hate double posting, but c'mon people...

Freebase Dali 07-06-2010 11:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by leptoon (Post 895688)
170 views and 0 downloads. I hate double posting, but c'mon people...

Maybe they're not interested?

leptoon 07-07-2010 08:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Freebase Dali (Post 895857)
Maybe they're not interested?

Maybe.

imrighterthanyouis 07-07-2010 09:21 PM

well i listened to "awe" and "new ****"... and i have to say that i honestly like it how it is.

electronica is always better without lyrics IMO.

that said, i dig your stuff man... not bad.

leptoon 07-08-2010 06:00 PM

Thanks. I'm actually working on some new stuff right now. Just got a really great, professional $500 synth.

VEGANGELICA 07-09-2010 07:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by leptoon (Post 894512)
I've been making music for years, but I'm really bad with vocals/lyrics. That's where MusicBanter comes in. I need suggestions for lyrics. Here's a couple songs I wrote that I need vocals on.

When suggesting your lyrics, don't just tell me the words. I also want your opinion as to how it should be sung, what tone/pitch I should focus on, and any alterations to the song that you think would be beneficial for your choice of lyrics. I'm only going to make one final version of each song, so may the best writer win.

The following songs are for my upcoming album, Dreams of a Possum.

Theme of the Possum - NC
mediafire DOT com/?mqmzozimwjr

Leptoon,

I listened to all four of your songs, and the one my attention narrowed down on is definitely "Theme of the Possum," which I feel would best turn into a dance song with vocals. I think I'd have fun playing with potential lyrics for it. Do you have a form of the song that would upload well into an audio recording program, so that I could play with potential vocal tracks/melodies? (I don't think mine takes mp3s.) My one recommendation for the song right now would be to add some instrumentals to the ending to give it more punch. Right now it ends anticlimactically.

After listening to the "Theme of the Possum" song two times, here's what I imagine the lyrics being about, and why. Subject: girl moving from country to city to build a better life for herself (which explains the excitement in the song). Reason: urbanization is a major trend around the world, and increasing incomes and expanding life possibilities is a dream that many women around the world seem to have.

I suspect the lyrics you want are probably what I think of as typical dance song lyrics: ditzy-sounding and simple. My plan would be to make lyrics that sound simple but deceptively so. The benefit of this project for me would be that even if *you* don't use my lyrics and melody, I could! ;) And it would be fun to try. I like challenges and trying something new.

I do have some feedback on the instrumentals of the other songs. Briefly, "Awe" sounds like a difficult one to write cohesive lyrics for, since the song has a spacey atmospheric feeling and amorphous beat pattern.

My main memory of "Hymn" is that it is a slower, more relaxed song than "Theme" so would probably have more delicate, thoughtful lyrics on some sad topic with a wistful feeling. This would be my second choice of songs to make vocals to.

"New ****" with the funky bass line would have lyrics that were either happy or happy/ironic (with a little submerged anger). "This stuff is starting now," says the man currently. Hmm...maybe the song could be about someone experiencing the thrill of hooking up with someone new. Gosh, I think it would kill me to write lyrics like that, since there are so many songs like that already, all of which I despise because they seem to lack content and just transmit one straightforward emotion. Maybe I'd make the lyrics about some new trend starting now and completely prevent the song from being about love.


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