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05-21-2010, 07:41 AM | #1 (permalink) |
Pow!
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 1,671
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Song.
Verse
Hey man can you give us the answer please? Can't we all have your disease Can't we all shut out the world and forget let no body in to regret Won't you please give me a smile? Had the feeling we might have to wait a while To find out what your really thinking Never see you let anybody in Verse And you might think that it's the way Justify your day to day Inside you're all on your own Seems to me it must get lonesome Fixed to this you might not see Just how happy life can be If you'd just tear down the wall It might not even hurt at all Chorus Hey Mr.Man, with all your plans Seen everything and all to hand Wouldn't you once just like to smile back at the sun |
05-23-2010, 05:35 AM | #2 (permalink) | ||
Facilitator
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Where people kill 30 million pigs per year
Posts: 2,014
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Hello littleknowitall,
Your song topic has a Beatles-like feel to me, a little like "Hey Jude," since your song is about someone who is reclusive and is not letting himself be affected by life or interact with it. From "Hey Jude": "It's a fool who plays it cool by making this world a little colder." "So let it out and let it in." I have some comments, shown in bold below, about specific lines in your song: Quote:
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05-23-2010, 03:47 PM | #3 (permalink) |
The Omniscient
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Reno, Nevada, USA
Posts: 998
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Like the concept, I can relate to your subject because I have problems with being social. At first at this was a song about wishing for ignorance so you don't have to face life's problems because of those lines "Can't we all have your disease, Can't we all shut out the world and forget."... I think I understand your purpose now, though. I would just change the aforementioned lines the "Mr. Man" line.
Good job, I hope to see more from you in the future. |
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