poetry.

frontwards · 05-02-2010, 07:08 PM

i tend to write in short, nonsensical bursts. i haven't had anyone read anything i've written in awhile so i thought i'd give it a go.

someday, these sinewy dreams will be disarmed.
we're just stringing along regret.
we've become that proverbial c*ck tease.
our skirts being chased by that spector of splendor.
those spirited aspirations we let drown.
i met a girl who let me bide my time.
she had two windy, moonlit lakes for eyes.
i'll dive in and keep sinking deeper towards the truth.

~~someonecompletelyrandom~~ · 05-02-2010, 07:14 PM

Good. But I'd like a little more that goes in a more substantial direction. I can't quite grasp the concept of this one as is, but I like you choice of words and phrasing.

Stay up.

05-02-2010, 07:08 PM	#1 (permalink)
frontwards Groupie Join Date: May 2010 Location: New York Posts: 22	poetry. i tend to write in short, nonsensical bursts. i haven't had anyone read anything i've written in awhile so i thought i'd give it a go. someday, these sinewy dreams will be disarmed. we're just stringing along regret. we've become that proverbial c*ck tease. our skirts being chased by that spector of splendor. those spirited aspirations we let drown. i met a girl who let me bide my time. she had two windy, moonlit lakes for eyes. i'll dive in and keep sinking deeper towards the truth.

05-02-2010, 07:14 PM	#2 (permalink)
~~someonecompletelyrandom~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 4,538	Good. But I'd like a little more that goes in a more substantial direction. I can't quite grasp the concept of this one as is, but I like you choice of words and phrasing. Stay up.