Freebase Dali

Since a few of you wanks screwed up my first one, and I'm considerably drunk enough to forgive you for your insolence, here is version 2.
No, this is not a followup snipe invitation. I just sometimes get lyrical/creative writing ideas that stagnate on paper all by their lonesomes. Love it or hate it, just don't troll it.

Also... always read my lyrics to a hip hop beat. That's how they're written in my head. If you don't like my lyrics, I'm going to blame your hip hop beat first... so don't be surprised.






First order of business:







CTRL+Dismay

That phony blithe ghost-wife, host to a fading still-life
Null-strife performing better than surgery with a dull knife
Think your way out of a skull crisis
That seagull life is, that regal price is, morally supported vices minus a cost
Ink crossed with legal toss fostering evil(er) thoughts
On the brink of a lip-sync'd lie from high on the sole of the boss
Abstraction for the sole purpose of covering loss
The gloss minimum
Reality surfaced with pits and sin in 'em
So lay down lightly, hands to the front and try to fight me
Fuck a daily grind when you can live your life nightly
Write a letter to your senator, and this is what you say:
Control plus Control plus Control plus Dismay.





More to come, unfortunately.

VeggieLover

I take an unfortunitely long break from MB and the day I come back you have blessed us with this I hate to say it, but hurrah for drunkenness!
now onto the lyrics themselves.

They are quite fun to read outloud to a "hiphop beat," that much is for certain. I don't really understand the CTRL + dismay thing... which is definitely my own ignorance and not yours. The images are fleeting but powerful. I particularly like variation pattern of rhyme and consenence, it bumps up the power level considerably.

Really, that's what I get out of this... power. If I tood the time to really piece together the exact meaning of the words and phrases that you use in combination, lets face it, I'd probably get it wrong. But the emotion and strength of those phrases is undeniable.

I liked the lines "Think your way out of a skull crisis" and " Fuck a daily grind when you can live your life nightly" in particular. However, there wasn't a line or image or word that made these lyrics stand out any more than anything else you've written (that I've seen/heard) or some of the other lyrics of this type that I've read. They aren't exactly average, but they aren't anything mind blowing either. what the heck, blame my hip hop beat

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"Not remotely! Because iocaine comes from Australia, as everyone knows. And Australia is entirely peopled with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you."

Astronomer

I love this; your writing always has such a great rhythm. Establishing and maintaing rhythm in the written word is something that I personally think is hard to do. I haven't been able to get on MB regularly as of late but I love that I'm greeted with something else great from you. Please keep posting your stuff

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Freebase Dali

Thanks for the honest reply. As far as the meaning is concerned, I'm less about spelling it out because I think it's just as important for the reader to take something personal from it as it is for me to express something personal. While I tend to be a bit diffuse with my writing and it serves more as a stream of consciousness than anything, there's always a motive behind it but even I don't figure it out until I've finished the piece.
I like that about writing, because it helps me learn things about myself that I may otherwise be unable to rationalize without some self-analysis.

What I take from it though, very generally, is the basic struggle between the need for controlling and being controlled, and the fears that inevitably result. Although that concept is not very well supported in the writing, it's the motive behind it.
A revised version would be more explicit, having figured out the point behind my own lyric.


Thank you Kate. I will try to release as much poison as possible.

Dr.Seussicide

I liked it, it's good, but I just thought you lost a bit of the flow at this point: "On the brink of a lip-sync'd lie from high on the sole of the boss"

Anyways, the in the first four lines it flowed perfectly dull knife; skull crisis; seagull life is, etc, but yeah that's about the only critique I had, keep 'em coming man.

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Freebase Dali

Thanks for the reply.
I actually worked out the rhythm intensively and it fits, but you gotta have context. I may do a hiphop track with these lyrics expanded to show you what I mean... but they all fit rhythmically.
Note that a lot of my lines, including the one you brought up, actually start before the first downbeat of the line it's on. Like an 8th before.