TheCunningStunt

Cheers

The music does sound blusey, the chords and guitar fills I have laid out at the moment are very so I'm glad the lyrics are in the same vein. Although I'm not in a band or anything, so it'd have to be acoustic if I deicide to start playing live.

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Stone Birds

some of the best blues musicians started out playin in downtown streets getting people's spare change

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Highwayman

Definitely. I know what you mean. It's so easy to get trapped into writing fake lyrics or writing what you "should" write.

nice lyrics, by the way. you know lyrics are good when they can stand alone as poetry and still read great.

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Soft silly music is meaningful, magical. - NMH

VEGANGELICA

Hello TheCunningStunt,

I've read your thread and have some feedback to give, but first I want to say that only recently did I realize the "St" in your name isn't a "C." Or is there a member who has a "C" instead of an "St" and I'm just confusing you two?

I like the simplicity of your first song, which describes people who abuse their power. If you do write a chorus, like right-track suggests, I imagine that its main topic would be people who abuse their power (hurting others) and then get their comeuppance. I've posted additional comments in bold below:

Right-track, I wish when you have something so harshly negative to say about someone else's work, you would say it to him (I'll assume him) directly rather than talking behind his back, since I feel it would especially hurt his feelings to read such a slam in someone else's thread. In other words, I wish you'd go for the direct stab instead of one that is behind the back!

Being direct with your criticism would give kimber a chance to deal with it directly and reassess his work. I feel the indirect way you responded to kimber makes it harder for people to feel comfortable sharing their work in the songwriting section. I want them to feel comfortable sharing their work. (I'll PM you this comment, too, so that I'm not hypocritical! )

Like TheCunningStunt says below, I can understand angst love songs...and they are probably popular with many people because so many people go through tortured feelings during some experiences of love.

I agree with you that over-used metaphors can be painful to read because they sound so unoriginal. Trite cliches in love songs also make me feel the writer is more infatuated with his feelings than filled with caring for the actual person who inspired the song.

I think what is embarrassing about our early love poems is that they make us realize our experiences of love aren't unique and novel...and we were overwhelmed with emotion that went beyond the reality of the relationship. Using unique descriptions of love when we write about it in songs at least lets us imagine (or delude ourselves into believing) that we are going through something fresh and special rather than ordinary.

Must a song be novel to not be pathetic? For example, do you feel it would be better to avoid the cliche phrases "reap what you sow" and "cream of the crop," which you used in your song above, because these phrases are so overused? Or do you feel sometimes cliche phrasing works specifically because it is a shorthand way of expressing an emotion or concept very quickly to the listener?

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TheCunningStunt

^

I appreciate the in depth comment.
When I write songs I don't try and make them perfect, like rhyming can with can, I didn't wanna do it for that reason but it's the only thing that I liked. I ended up replacing words just because I felt like I should, and it comes across as fake and unnecessary.. Well that's just me. The vicar thing, not sarcasm because their morals are far greater than the rest, they have the best intentions but they only preach because they're in a position of power.. It kind of reminded me of where I live as well, when walking through town there was someone with a bible (although not a vicar, just a nut) preaching hate and bile about our sins etc. just because we have freedom of speech.

Correct about the love songs, you think it was a true romance, unique ans special, and when it ends you feel what you have to say are insights on love when really you just come across as a whiney child that needs to get a grip.

I believe you can write 1 or 2 love songs about how shite you're feeling is acceptable. Some emo kids write every single song about how they're suffering etc. and it's just out of order. I don't think you're gonna get many romance gone bad type of songs that are novel..

I think metaphors about love being a dying rose or whatever and using phrases we use in every day language - cream of the crop. Are different, I think using little sayings that people, especially from where you're from can relate to. No problems using sayings.. I wouldn't say they're cliche at all to be honest, I think it's just a nice turn of phrase to put in a well known saying.. but that's just me. Thanks for your comments, really appreciated.

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Last FM

right-track

I chose not to comment on his/her work in their thread because I initially had no intention to do so directly.
I wouldn't waste my time.
The reason why I referred to it in here, was solely in context to make a point.
My comments are on the boards for all to see, so how this is stabbing someone in the back is beyond me.

I'm not here to make a person feel comfortable. It's an opinion. They can take it or leave it.

Feel free to puff up a couple of cushions and give kimber a cuddle while you stroke their bruised ego. Don't mind me.

Now please excuse me while I get back to eating my bacon sandwich.

Highwayman

you mean this bacon sandwich?

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Soft silly music is meaningful, magical. - NMH

right-track

^ Now THAT'S poetry!

TheCunningStunt

I'ma say it...

Sausage>Bacon.

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Akira

'tis true, but that bacon does look like crap anyway.

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