Sljslj

I decided I REALLY don't like Another Blind Hater. So I took some of the ideas from it and made what I think to be my best song yet. Check it and please PLEASE comment. This is the first song I've ever written that has no definite chorus. I'm trying to balance anger and imagery, so that's really what this is. It has no title at the moment. (EDIT: It does now.) Anything with *s around it isn't part of the song.

APOCALYPSE HANDYMAN

You.
You run to the scene, hammer and nail in hand.
Feed us promises of a better day to follow.
Chew it for us and make us swallow.
We swim and swim while you watch from the shallow.
And if we die, you still get praise.

You're so clever, but you're so stupid.
It's such a deadly combination.
You can lead us by the thousands.
Lead us straight down.
Down to hell, or to the sea to drown.

You're nothing but a hater and a liar.
I think the day will come when we fight back.
But, I fear, not until we're knee deep in fire.
This place is yours for now, but not forever.

Shut up.
You're not an angel.
Shut the **** up.
You're not a savior.
Shut up and stop killing us.

You've got a million people with their heads up their asses.
And a million more with their hands up yours.
You won't say the words that need be spoken.
You will try to mend what is broken.
But duct tape can't fix everything, you prick. *that, by the way, is my favorite part =)*

Ah!
Oh ****!
You run to the scene, hammer and nail in hand.
Feed us promises of a better day to follow.
(Better days never to come.)
Chew it for us and make us swallow.
We swim and swim while you watch from the shallow.
(I hope the tide tears you down.)
And if we die, you still get praise.
If we die.

Shut up.
You're no angel. *This part is heavier than before and yes, I changed it from "not an" to "no" on purpose because it sounds better with the heavier riff.*
Shut the **** up.
You're no savior.
Shut up and stop this bull****.

You've got a million people with their heads up their asses.
And a million more with their hands up yours.
You won't say the words that need be spoken.
You will try to mend what is broken.
But duct tape can't fix everything, you prick.
****... you!**

VEGANGELICA

Sljslj, hello,

I recommend you send a private message to Toretorden or Nonsubmissivehousewife to ask for your thread to be renamed to "Sljslj's Collection."

I've read all the lyrics in your thread. Like others have said, I feel your anger, though sometimes I'm not sure at whom it is directed, such as in your most recent song, above. Occasionally your songs seem to have religious references. I also notice a lot of them feature guns.

Unlike Conan, I don't mind the anger in your lyrics and I don't feel your lyrics have to be witty. I rather like the raw ranting quality some of them have. Some sound to me more like poems than song lyrics. Once your guitar is fixed then I'll be interested how you put them to music.

Here are some comments about particular lyrics:

This song about insanity is probably my favorite of your songs, because someone close to me deals with bipolar disorder plus paranoia, and I imagine living with that might sometimes be like how you describe, especially since medications are imperfect and seem rather like banging a Swiss watch with a hammer to try to make the watch run smoothly.

The song was also short and didn't seem to ramble very much, since you had a repeating chorus. I prefer some repetition in a song, while I know others want less predictability.

I especially liked the fact that you posted the song above right after someone said you seemed too angry! I thought the irony of that (perhaps intentional) was funny!

My favorite lines: "And your (should be you're) damn right I'm angry. In my position you would be."

What interests me about this song is that you (assuming you are representing yourself) are showing some anger at those who don't have empathy for you...yet still you are addressing them. You are still reaching out to them to try to share what life feels like for you.

Now, I didn't quote it, but there was a song about failed love in which you wrote, "Nothing hurts like nothing." That line sticks with me, Sljslj. You meant that it hurts to receive no love from someone. Quoting your human nature song, it's just "human nature" to want unconditional love and to feel the loss of something (love from someone) that was never really ours to being with.

At first I thought this was a religious rebellion song, but then at the end wasn't sure. I'm not sure who is running in to fix/build something. I feel that the song probably makes sense to you, but I can't follow it. For example, why is this person clever but also stupid?

Summarizing your songs, you do show a lot of aggression aimed at others. It sounds like you want them to change, but sometimes I don't know exactly what change you want. Is it mostly that you want people to be expressive and open and when they aren't you end up feeling frustrated?

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