The Lyrical Saga Of SljSlj

Sljslj · 06-02-2011, 02:10 AM

RED AND BLACK

There's no morality
In addiction
Nothing but insanity
And internal friction

I can never be afraid
That I might die
Not when every single day
Is spent so high

It's back
The red and black
God, do I have a knack
For losing control

There's an eternal eclipse
Over my head
Words right behind my lips
Are never said
"I need help"

It's back
The red and black
God, do I have a knack
For losing control

How much pain is my life worth?
Can't take all this
I wish I never took that first step
Can't take it anymore

It's back
The red and black
God, do I have a knack
For losing control

Sljslj · 06-03-2011, 04:28 PM

My first attempt at black metal.

THOSE WHO LOOK TO HEAVEN BURN IN HELL

Deathtraps in disguise
Mindgames, dark red lies
Bodies blacken the skies

Death is not the end
But death is not your friend
Those who look to heaven
Burn in hell

There's no compromise
When the planet dies
Your'e in for a suprise
Jesus Christ, your demise

Though the herd denies
One sees truth through the lies
How ****in' hard he tries
To revise all the lies
But it's too late, demon rise

Repeat Chorus

The beast wants a feast
Flesh and corrupt souls
The beast will not cease
Until this world is pure
The beast swallows your priests
One by one
(Repeat until fade out)

Sljslj · 06-06-2011, 03:26 PM

THE PICTURE ON THE WALL

The picture on the wall is frightening
But I can't seem to look away
It causes me to do things I'd never do
The picture on the wall
The picture on the wall

I wanna run
Leave everything
I have to run
To stay alive

The picture on the wall is like lightning
So very wonderful, beautful
But terrible in the worst way
It causes me to do things that aren't me
The picture on the wall
The picture on the wall

It's time to go
Leave everything
I have to go
To stay intact

The picture on the wall is listening
To the words I do not speak
And telling me what's wrong is right
Causes me to ignore the gray between the black and white
The picture on the wall
The picture on the wall

I wanna run
But here I stay
I have to run
But I'm not going
No, I'm not going
Because of the picture on the wall
I'm not going anywhere

Sljslj · 06-29-2011, 05:57 PM

Wow. I haven't been here for a while and when I return, I find my thread slipping into the abyss. Anyway, though it's a bit late, I generally like to say something every 1,000 views. So thanks for reading and putting me over 9,000.

Okay, got a new one for ya. This one was inspired by Lamb Of God's song, Omerta, and just the overall concept of omertà. I haven't written for almost a month, so hopefully I'm not too rusty.

BY YOUR OWN TONGUE

You are nothing but tongue
Nothing at all when your throat is slit
You will not be missed
For a life like yours has barely begun

Ignore the reaper
Running your mouth
The **** is deep, sir
And you'll never get out

You are nothing but a coward
With the blackest mark on your manhood
And it's come to this
A life like yours, barely begun
You die by your own gun

Ignore the reaper
Running your mouth
The **** is deep, sir
And you'll never get out

You can't get out of this
Not with words, nor broken logic
You can't get out of this ****
You're going down, this is it

You're nothing but tongue
Nothing at all when your throat is slit
You're going down, this is it
And you will not be missed
Your life ends before it's begun
And you die by your own gun

Ignore the reaper
Running your mouth
The **** is deep, sir
And you'll never get out

Did you forget about
The omertà code?
Your vendetta so
Consumed you
You forgot about honor

Ignore the reaper
Running your mouth
The **** is deep, sir
And you'll never get out

Sljslj · 07-14-2011, 03:23 PM

My second attempt at black metal lyric, more like black hard rock, but w/e, just trying something new. It doesn't read exactly way I sing it, so some parts my seem not to flow well when actually they do.

HAIL-OH

The devil's might
Is greater than you know
All day and night
He walks among us, punishing
Those who do not hail

Hail
Oh
Hail
Oh
You're going to hell
Oh

They have no sight
Those who do not hail cannot see
The darkest light
He lives beyond you, dominating
Present and future
Those who do not hail die

They will never know
What is truly so
To hell, they will go
Screaming

Hail
Oh
Hail
Oh
You're going to hell
Oh

The dark, darkest light
Cannot be seen by Christian eyes
A trivial fight
They wage against a demigod
All day and night, they fight
All day and night, they die

Hail
Oh
Hail
Oh
You're going to fail
Oh
You're going to hell

Sljslj · 08-20-2011, 02:06 AM

Haven't posted in here in over a month, but I just wanted to point out the HUGE benchmark I hit: 10,000 views!

Anyway, I'm working on my longest lyric ever right now. I'm splitting it into three parts, and trying to get it finished before Monday. I'm really excited to hear what people think of it.

Sljslj · 08-23-2011, 01:23 AM

Fyi this isn't part of the three-parter I mentioned before.

FROM THE INSIDE OUT (NOW)

I thought I cut the problem at the root
But every day sprouts another black leaf
So I'll take one more sip of pesticide
And leave the garden's fate
For mother earth to decide

It's a red hot day in my head
And no more will I pretend
That I've got any reason to live
Anything to say that's not been said
I'll just melt from the inside out now
My world turns inside out now

I thought I caught the bee by the wings
But there's always something more to these things
And the pain of being mistaken
Is much worse than a ten thousand stings
I never, ever thought I'd be taken

That I'd be taken down this way
Turned to a hive for all the little bees
Hanged from the top of my own trees

It's a blank white day in my head
And no more will I pretend
That I've got any time to live
To say more things I've already said
I'll just vanish from the inside out now
My world turns inside out now

Oh god, what's this all about now?
Why does nature not reject...
A destructive animal like me?

Oh no, don't you start to doubt now...
That the water does still reflect...
What is, not what could be
Don't you make the same mistake as me

I see now that I never had a chance
That I was always on the concrete path
I never did sway into the grass
The garden's fate, she did decide
Of course, it's the same as mine
The garden and I, together we live and die

VEGANGELICA · 08-23-2011, 09:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sljslj

FROM THE INSIDE OUT (NOW)

I thought I cut (the?) problem at the root
But every day sprouts another black leaf
So I'll take another sip of pesticide
And leave the garden's fate
For mother earth to decide
...

I'll just melt from the inside out now

...

I thought I caught the bee by the wings
But there's always something more to these things
And the pain of being mistaken
Is much worse than a hundred bee stings
I never, ever thought I'd be taken

...

Oh god, what's this all about now?
Why does nature not reject...
A destructive animal like me?

...

I never did sway into the grass
The garden's fate, she did decide
Of course, it's the same as mine
The garden and I, together we live and die

Hiya Sljslj, long time no "talk."

I like the first stanza very much. It is the strongest in the song, I feel, because of the striking metaphor describing how your body continuously sprouts leaves of noxious weeds inside so that you take sip after sip of pesticide to try to kill them off, representing slow self-destruction, or a melting from the inside out. I recommend not repeating the word "another" if you can think of another

way to phrase those lines.

However, I felt you diluted and confused the metaphor by introducing the idea of bees in the middle of the song. The "Oh god, what's this all about" stanza also felt overly dramatic to me.

I like how the final stanza refers to the first by saying that nature *did* decide: you and the garden are both doomed. I wish the stanza were a bit more subtle, though. I feel it would work without the statement, "Together we live and die," which makes the demise overly obvious, in my opinion.

The lyrics definitely describe a depressed state of hopelessness very well!

Sljslj · 08-23-2011, 10:37 PM

I've been switching the second "another" to "one more" and back like 10 times since I wrote it. I like the flow of "another", but I also like "one more" because it doesn't have me using the same word twice. I still don't know which I'm gonna decide on before I consider this finished.

You should know by now that I almost never use metaphors that relate to the same thing throughout an entire lyric/poem. It's just not something I do.

Overly dramatic is kinda my style. I might consider changing that, but don't hold your breath!

I feel like if I remove "...together we live and die", the line seems to vague, and I'm not sure if that's better or worse than it being blatantly straight-forward.

Thanks, I always appreciate your critiques. I'll definitely return the favor some time, but I'm pretty tired right now, and I'd rather be fully awake when I do that.

Thanks, Erica.

VEGANGELICA · 08-24-2011, 10:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sljslj

Overly dramatic is kinda my style. I might consider changing that, but don't hold your breath!

Thanks, Erica.

I know! I won't hold my breath for a style change.

Your lyrics are bold, you say what you want to say, and I feel your confidence gives your lyrics integrity, even if I wouldn't always phrase lines the same way as you.

You're welcome, as always. I'm glad to see your motivation and determination as a songwriter aren't ebbing. Having the creative urge well from within, independent of the input of others, is a good thing. I can tell you get a lot of joy out of making your music, so I recognize a kindred spirit when I read your lyrics.

I prefer "one more" to the second "another," but what I really wish for would be a few words that suggest not just *one* more sip, but rather one of *many* that we know are going to continue indefinitely, since the black leaves are perpetually sprouting, never killed off completely by the pesticide.

06-02-2011, 02:10 AM	#221 (permalink)
Sljslj The Omniscient Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Reno, Nevada, USA Posts: 998	RED AND BLACK There's no morality In addiction Nothing but insanity And internal friction I can never be afraid That I might die Not when every single day Is spent so high It's back The red and black God, do I have a knack For losing control There's an eternal eclipse Over my head Words right behind my lips Are never said "I need help" It's back The red and black God, do I have a knack For losing control How much pain is my life worth? Can't take all this I wish I never took that first step Can't take it anymore It's back The red and black God, do I have a knack For losing control __________________ MY LYRICS

06-03-2011, 04:28 PM	#222 (permalink)
Sljslj The Omniscient Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Reno, Nevada, USA Posts: 998	My first attempt at black metal. THOSE WHO LOOK TO HEAVEN BURN IN HELL Deathtraps in disguise Mindgames, dark red lies Bodies blacken the skies Death is not the end But death is not your friend Those who look to heaven Burn in hell There's no compromise When the planet dies Your'e in for a suprise Jesus Christ, your demise Though the herd denies One sees truth through the lies How **in' hard he tries To revise all the lies But it's too late, demon rise Repeat Chorus The beast wants a feast Flesh and corrupt souls The beast will not cease Until this world is pure The beast swallows your priests One by one (Repeat until fade out) __________________ MY LYRICS**

06-06-2011, 03:26 PM	#223 (permalink)
Sljslj The Omniscient Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Reno, Nevada, USA Posts: 998	THE PICTURE ON THE WALL The picture on the wall is frightening But I can't seem to look away It causes me to do things I'd never do The picture on the wall The picture on the wall I wanna run Leave everything I have to run To stay alive The picture on the wall is like lightning So very wonderful, beautful But terrible in the worst way It causes me to do things that aren't me The picture on the wall The picture on the wall It's time to go Leave everything I have to go To stay intact The picture on the wall is listening To the words I do not speak And telling me what's wrong is right Causes me to ignore the gray between the black and white The picture on the wall The picture on the wall I wanna run But here I stay I have to run But I'm not going No, I'm not going Because of the picture on the wall I'm not going anywhere __________________ MY LYRICS Last edited by Sljslj; 08-03-2012 at 03:12 AM.

06-29-2011, 05:57 PM	#224 (permalink)
Sljslj The Omniscient Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Reno, Nevada, USA Posts: 998	Wow. I haven't been here for a while and when I return, I find my thread slipping into the abyss. Anyway, though it's a bit late, I generally like to say something every 1,000 views. So thanks for reading and putting me over 9,000. Okay, got a new one for ya. This one was inspired by Lamb Of God's song, Omerta, and just the overall concept of omertà. I haven't written for almost a month, so hopefully I'm not too rusty. BY YOUR OWN TONGUE You are nothing but tongue Nothing at all when your throat is slit You will not be missed For a life like yours has barely begun Ignore the reaper Running your mouth The ** is deep, sir And you'll never get out You are nothing but a coward With the blackest mark on your manhood And it's come to this A life like yours, barely begun You die by your own gun Ignore the reaper Running your mouth The is deep, sir And you'll never get out You can't get out of this Not with words, nor broken logic You can't get out of this You're going down, this is it You're nothing but tongue Nothing at all when your throat is slit You're going down, this is it And you will not be missed Your life ends before it's begun And you die by your own gun Ignore the reaper Running your mouth The is deep, sir And you'll never get out Did you forget about The omertà code? Your vendetta so Consumed you You forgot about honor Ignore the reaper Running your mouth The is deep, sir And you'll never get out __________________ MY LYRICS**

07-14-2011, 03:23 PM	#225 (permalink)
Sljslj The Omniscient Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Reno, Nevada, USA Posts: 998	My second attempt at black metal lyric, more like black hard rock, but w/e, just trying something new. It doesn't read exactly way I sing it, so some parts my seem not to flow well when actually they do. HAIL-OH The devil's might Is greater than you know All day and night He walks among us, punishing Those who do not hail Hail Oh Hail Oh You're going to hell Oh They have no sight Those who do not hail cannot see The darkest light He lives beyond you, dominating Present and future Those who do not hail die They will never know What is truly so To hell, they will go Screaming Hail Oh Hail Oh You're going to hell Oh The dark, darkest light Cannot be seen by Christian eyes A trivial fight They wage against a demigod All day and night, they fight All day and night, they die Hail Oh Hail Oh You're going to fail Oh You're going to hell __________________ MY LYRICS Last edited by Sljslj; 07-16-2011 at 06:44 PM.

08-20-2011, 02:06 AM	#226 (permalink)
Sljslj The Omniscient Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Reno, Nevada, USA Posts: 998	Haven't posted in here in over a month, but I just wanted to point out the HUGE benchmark I hit: 10,000 views! Anyway, I'm working on my longest lyric ever right now. I'm splitting it into three parts, and trying to get it finished before Monday. I'm really excited to hear what people think of it. __________________ MY LYRICS Last edited by Sljslj; 08-23-2011 at 01:23 AM.

08-23-2011, 01:23 AM	#227 (permalink)
Sljslj The Omniscient Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Reno, Nevada, USA Posts: 998	Fyi this isn't part of the three-parter I mentioned before. FROM THE INSIDE OUT (NOW) I thought I cut the problem at the root But every day sprouts another black leaf So I'll take one more sip of pesticide And leave the garden's fate For mother earth to decide It's a red hot day in my head And no more will I pretend That I've got any reason to live Anything to say that's not been said I'll just melt from the inside out now My world turns inside out now I thought I caught the bee by the wings But there's always something more to these things And the pain of being mistaken Is much worse than a ten thousand stings I never, ever thought I'd be taken That I'd be taken down this way Turned to a hive for all the little bees Hanged from the top of my own trees It's a blank white day in my head And no more will I pretend That I've got any time to live To say more things I've already said I'll just vanish from the inside out now My world turns inside out now Oh god, what's this all about now? Why does nature not reject... A destructive animal like me? Oh no, don't you start to doubt now... That the water does still reflect... What is, not what could be Don't you make the same mistake as me I see now that I never had a chance That I was always on the concrete path I never did sway into the grass The garden's fate, she did decide Of course, it's the same as mine The garden and I, together we live and die __________________ MY LYRICS Last edited by Sljslj; 12-22-2012 at 02:07 AM.

08-23-2011, 10:37 PM	#229 (permalink)
Sljslj The Omniscient Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Reno, Nevada, USA Posts: 998	I've been switching the second "another" to "one more" and back like 10 times since I wrote it. I like the flow of "another", but I also like "one more" because it doesn't have me using the same word twice. I still don't know which I'm gonna decide on before I consider this finished. You should know by now that I almost never use metaphors that relate to the same thing throughout an entire lyric/poem. It's just not something I do. Overly dramatic is kinda my style. I might consider changing that, but don't hold your breath! I feel like if I remove "...together we live and die", the line seems to vague, and I'm not sure if that's better or worse than it being blatantly straight-forward. Thanks, I always appreciate your critiques. I'll definitely return the favor some time, but I'm pretty tired right now, and I'd rather be fully awake when I do that. Thanks, Erica. __________________ MY LYRICS Last edited by Sljslj; 08-24-2011 at 07:19 PM.