The Lyrical Saga Of SljSlj

Sljslj · 02-27-2011, 09:34 AM

Almost didn't even notice... 7,000 views! Thank you MB! This is, by far, my most successful thread on any of the forum websites I post on.

ParadoxQ · 04-05-2011, 06:23 AM

Hm. This is not really constructive critisism, but really more about how I as a person don't like the lyrics. I find them too outgoing and I don't enjoy the flow in that many of them. With that said I don't dislike every song you have, I like some of the metafors you got like "poisonous snake, but the venom is dry".

If I should give you a little tip, you should try to let go of all the cursing words. One a song is enough, more makes the song sound like one of those dirty nu-metal "wanna sound badass"-songs, if you get me.

Peace out dude

Sljslj · 04-25-2011, 05:02 PM

still working on this one; was just a quick thing, barely more than a jotting of notes, but I want to come back and do some revisions soon.

OUT OF THE INTO

How much more can I take?
Before I'm over-riden by hate
And you commit suicide by my hand

Maybe we weren't meant to be
Why should I stick around and see?
God, I wish I could wash my life of you

Out of the into
****ed, but you've no clue
Out of the into
And now you've ****ed me, too

Your world is so backwards
It seems you want only to cross swords
Until your life is but a lonely*corpse

(Repeat chorus)

You're running away
When you know you'd better stay
You're running your mouth
From the into you come out

Sljslj · 04-25-2011, 05:05 PM

NEW

There's gotta be two sides to this
I'll find the point where it splits
The point where I split in two

Don't think I know what I want
But i don't think I want to know
I'd give anything to start over

I become something new
Anything other than this
I don't really know who
Who the hell am I?

Was there something I missed...
While I was out of my mind?
Where did I go?
Was I left behind?

I become something new
Just gotta kill this
Even I lose this chance
To find out who the hell I am

I become something new
Maybe something without a clue
I may not yet know who
But atleast I'm alive

Sljslj · 05-13-2011, 10:59 AM

BROKEN MIRROR (FAKE IT UNTIL I MAKE IT)

Reflection in a broken mirror
Don't you look at me that way
I know just where I'm lighting this fire
Under my ass, under my soul
And don't tell me it's not cool
For that is something I already know

Almost out of options
Fake it 'till I make it
Or let the gluten inside
Take it all away

A broken mirror that wants to see blood
Not just a drop or two but a flood
It hurts my eyes but still I look
And see how much pain my life is worth

Almost out of options
Fake it till I make it
Or let the gluten inside
Take it all away

Why do I hate what I see?
In the eyes of what should be me
Eyes like locks that melt the key
Why do I hate myself?

Oh god, it is I who is broken
More shattered than a mirror could ever be
But I'll continue to stand
And fake it all the way
'Cause there is no other way

Sljslj · 05-14-2011, 12:11 AM

BORROW YOUR PAIN

I'd like to borrow your pain
Just for a little while

I'd like to borrow your pain
Cause it hurts me less this way
I just wanna see you smile

For just a little while
You can be happy
Forget this growing pile
Of lies and stress
Your life
And for a little while
You will be happy

I'd like to borrow your pain
Even if it makes me insane
I just wanna see you smile

Sljslj · 05-16-2011, 03:45 PM

Wrote two today. The first I'm gonna put up, which is the second I wrote, is about me getting help (therapy) with my drug addiction and suicidal depression. The other is harder to explain, but maybe it's message is one that is better left to the reader to decipher, and it's a poem, not a lyric.

DECONSTRUCTION

Take it down

A lifetime spent building
Walls that, quite honestly, aren't stable
Don't even know how they stood so long
Doesn't matter really, 'cause I'm taking them down

Brick by brick
Even thought it may make me sick, so sick
I'm starting today
Deconstruction

A death sentence that I
Created for the crimes against myself
Don't know why I haven't gotten the chair
And I don't really care 'cause the prison's coming down

(Chorus)

A lifetime spent building
Walls without purpose after the first day
And pretending they'd hold the roof okay
But this structure without structure is caving in
Crushing all my posessions and friends
So it's time to tear it down before it tears me up

I'm taking you down

(Chorus)

Sljslj · 05-16-2011, 03:46 PM

KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE SKY

Sun exits sky
But there's still light
It's beneath my hands
Dirt beneath my nails, clouds
Even minus Sun
Moon not yet allowed

Face drops left eye
Right left behind
So it may still cry
For the one that died
Until it's forever covered
Patch over it
Like a pirate

Why, spirit, why?
Why do you wish I hide?
I'm not a right eye
Not a moon in the sky
Sigh

Sun exits sky
And all left eyes die
Enter moon, enter right side
And all left eyes fry
Even minus Sun

Even minus Sun
Perhaps there's still light
Right beneath my hands
Right beneath my eyes
Left beneath my eyes

Sljslj · 05-16-2011, 10:54 PM

I know I don't comment on other people's stuff often and I've been told before that I shouldn't ask anyway, but **** it... Anyone wanna share your thoughts on any of my recent stuff?

ParadoxQ · 05-17-2011, 11:17 AM

I enjoyed keep your eyes on the sky, it was gentle and I love when people write songs about the sky, moon and sun. they're representing something big and universal which is good for everything and/or anything. i also like how you weave in the souls mirror (eyes) into the text. i don't know what you mean by the song, but it still gives me pictures, and that's good enough for me : )

02-27-2011, 09:34 AM	#201 (permalink)
Sljslj The Omniscient Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Reno, Nevada, USA Posts: 998	Almost didn't even notice... 7,000 views! Thank you MB! This is, by far, my most successful thread on any of the forum websites I post on. __________________ MY LYRICS

04-25-2011, 05:02 PM	#203 (permalink)
Sljslj The Omniscient Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Reno, Nevada, USA Posts: 998	still working on this one; was just a quick thing, barely more than a jotting of notes, but I want to come back and do some revisions soon. OUT OF THE INTO How much more can I take? Before I'm over-riden by hate And you commit suicide by my hand Maybe we weren't meant to be Why should I stick around and see? God, I wish I could wash my life of you Out of the into **ed, but you've no clue Out of the into And now you've *ed me, too Your world is so backwards It seems you want only to cross swords Until your life is but a lonelycorpse (Repeat chorus) You're running away When you know you'd better stay You're running your mouth From the into you come out __________________ MY LYRICS

04-25-2011, 05:05 PM	#204 (permalink)
Sljslj The Omniscient Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Reno, Nevada, USA Posts: 998	NEW There's gotta be two sides to this I'll find the point where it splits The point where I split in two Don't think I know what I want But i don't think I want to know I'd give anything to start over I become something new Anything other than this I don't really know who Who the hell am I? Was there something I missed... While I was out of my mind? Where did I go? Was I left behind? I become something new Just gotta kill this Even I lose this chance To find out who the hell I am I become something new Maybe something without a clue I may not yet know who But atleast I'm alive __________________ MY LYRICS Last edited by Sljslj; 05-13-2011 at 11:02 AM.

05-13-2011, 10:59 AM	#205 (permalink)
Sljslj The Omniscient Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Reno, Nevada, USA Posts: 998	BROKEN MIRROR (FAKE IT UNTIL I MAKE IT) Reflection in a broken mirror Don't you look at me that way I know just where I'm lighting this fire Under my ass, under my soul And don't tell me it's not cool For that is something I already know Almost out of options Fake it 'till I make it Or let the gluten inside Take it all away A broken mirror that wants to see blood Not just a drop or two but a flood It hurts my eyes but still I look And see how much pain my life is worth Almost out of options Fake it till I make it Or let the gluten inside Take it all away Why do I hate what I see? In the eyes of what should be me Eyes like locks that melt the key Why do I hate myself? Oh god, it is I who is broken More shattered than a mirror could ever be But I'll continue to stand And fake it all the way 'Cause there is no other way __________________ MY LYRICS

05-14-2011, 12:11 AM	#206 (permalink)
Sljslj The Omniscient Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Reno, Nevada, USA Posts: 998	BORROW YOUR PAIN I'd like to borrow your pain Just for a little while I'd like to borrow your pain Cause it hurts me less this way I just wanna see you smile For just a little while You can be happy Forget this growing pile Of lies and stress Your life And for a little while You will be happy I'd like to borrow your pain Even if it makes me insane I just wanna see you smile __________________ MY LYRICS

04-05-2011, 06:23 AM	#202 (permalink)
ParadoxQ Groupie Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 46	Hm. This is not really constructive critisism, but really more about how I as a person don't like the lyrics. I find them too outgoing and I don't enjoy the flow in that many of them. With that said I don't dislike every song you have, I like some of the metafors you got like "poisonous snake, but the venom is dry". If I should give you a little tip, you should try to let go of all the cursing words. One a song is enough, more makes the song sound like one of those dirty nu-metal "wanna sound badass"-songs, if you get me. Peace out dude

05-16-2011, 03:45 PM	#207 (permalink)
Sljslj The Omniscient Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Reno, Nevada, USA Posts: 998	Wrote two today. The first I'm gonna put up, which is the second I wrote, is about me getting help (therapy) with my drug addiction and suicidal depression. The other is harder to explain, but maybe it's message is one that is better left to the reader to decipher, and it's a poem, not a lyric. DECONSTRUCTION Take it down A lifetime spent building Walls that, quite honestly, aren't stable Don't even know how they stood so long Doesn't matter really, 'cause I'm taking them down Brick by brick Even thought it may make me sick, so sick I'm starting today Deconstruction A death sentence that I Created for the crimes against myself Don't know why I haven't gotten the chair And I don't really care 'cause the prison's coming down (Chorus) A lifetime spent building Walls without purpose after the first day And pretending they'd hold the roof okay But this structure without structure is caving in Crushing all my posessions and friends So it's time to tear it down before it tears me up I'm taking you down (Chorus) __________________ MY LYRICS

05-16-2011, 03:46 PM	#208 (permalink)
Sljslj The Omniscient Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Reno, Nevada, USA Posts: 998	KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE SKY Sun exits sky But there's still light It's beneath my hands Dirt beneath my nails, clouds Even minus Sun Moon not yet allowed Face drops left eye Right left behind So it may still cry For the one that died Until it's forever covered Patch over it Like a pirate Why, spirit, why? Why do you wish I hide? I'm not a right eye Not a moon in the sky Sigh Sun exits sky And all left eyes die Enter moon, enter right side And all left eyes fry Even minus Sun Even minus Sun Perhaps there's still light Right beneath my hands Right beneath my eyes Left beneath my eyes __________________ MY LYRICS Last edited by Sljslj; 05-27-2011 at 02:54 AM.

05-16-2011, 10:54 PM	#209 (permalink)
Sljslj The Omniscient Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Reno, Nevada, USA Posts: 998	I know I don't comment on other people's stuff often and I've been told before that I shouldn't ask anyway, but ** it... Anyone wanna share your thoughts on any of my recent stuff? __________________ MY LYRICS** Last edited by Sljslj; 05-16-2011 at 11:48 PM.

05-17-2011, 11:17 AM	#210 (permalink)
ParadoxQ Groupie Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 46	I enjoyed keep your eyes on the sky, it was gentle and I love when people write songs about the sky, moon and sun. they're representing something big and universal which is good for everything and/or anything. i also like how you weave in the souls mirror (eyes) into the text. i don't know what you mean by the song, but it still gives me pictures, and that's good enough for me : )