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02-06-2010, 12:12 PM | #1 (permalink) |
Groupie
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: IOWAAAAAA!!! THE CORN-Y HICKVILLE!!
Posts: 1
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Playa
this is my newest song called playa i wrote it in study hall yay, please comment
Playa Dont you look at me like you're wa wantin me when you got a girl thats dumb! Why you flirting with me, when she obiously sees? she was stupid for thinking you #1 (chorus) See i know you're a player All these girls wanna hate ya Im not a machine You smile at me yeah you think you're so cute, when your other chicks accros the room. You simile and wave,yeah just pretend you're just friends, but boy i. aint. a. fool. (chorus) See i know you're a player All these girls wanna hate ya Im not a machine Im not falling for these tricks, dont think im gunna trip and fall for your lies Ive seen you with 3 other girls and that one you just kissed yet you wanna take me out tonight (chorus) See i know you're a player All these girls wanna hate ya I'm not a machine I know all those girls you been messin around with i dont want your STD's. So boy quit with your chat i dont wanna talk about my cat, i dont wanna see your face, now leave. ©Written by Kaitlyn O'Connell February 4th, 2010 All Rights Reserved |
02-06-2010, 01:34 PM | #2 (permalink) |
The Sexual Intellectual
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Somewhere cooler than you
Posts: 18,605
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Amazing
Absolutely amazing
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Urb's RYM Stuff Most people sell their soul to the devil, but the devil sells his soul to Nick Cave. |
02-06-2010, 05:32 PM | #4 (permalink) |
The Sexual Intellectual
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Somewhere cooler than you
Posts: 18,605
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Come on you can't argue with the genius of the last 2 lines
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Urb's RYM Stuff Most people sell their soul to the devil, but the devil sells his soul to Nick Cave. |
02-06-2010, 05:43 PM | #5 (permalink) | |||
Music Addict
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: In the moment
Posts: 102
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Nah, but seriously, this mos def isn't the best song I've ever seen on here. It's probably not the worst, a while back there was an EXTREMELY angry rap song along the same lines, except it was like 3 pages long. I think in terms of horrible-ness, that's the worst I've seen in my short time being on here. Anyway, there are some technical problems with your song that make it somewhat hard for me to get. The first is that the chorus is three lines long, and while that's not the end of the world if you have a fourth, instrumental, line in there, or one of your lines takes up twice as long as the others, it can sound quite awkward if you don't have one of these things. Quote:
Aside from the fact that that is epic genius if you are a troll, I will assume you are just someone looking for criticism, and thus I will tell you that these lines make me want to shoot myself in the head. Actually, that's going in my sig.
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02-06-2010, 05:49 PM | #7 (permalink) |
The Sexual Intellectual
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Somewhere cooler than you
Posts: 18,605
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Haters
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Urb's RYM Stuff Most people sell their soul to the devil, but the devil sells his soul to Nick Cave. |
02-06-2010, 06:12 PM | #8 (permalink) |
Fish in the percolator!
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Hobbit Land NZ
Posts: 2,870
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I'm pretty sure "You simile and wave" is a metaphor for something really deep but I just can't put my finger on it... maybe it's referring to poetry through sign language? Can a literary genius please help me out here?
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02-06-2010, 06:26 PM | #9 (permalink) | |
Atchin' Akai
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Unamerica
Posts: 8,723
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I believe the wave is a subconcious attempt to comment on the quality of her own poetry through the eyes of her anti hero. |
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02-06-2010, 06:58 PM | #10 (permalink) | |
Nae wains, Great Danes.
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Where how means why.
Posts: 3,621
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The last two lines were priceless. Absolutely priceless. I must've be amused for roughly 5minutes straight. Champ.
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