Stone Birds

interesting very nice use poem songwriting, i love it when people use that

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t3hplatyz0rz

I've always thought of all song lyrics as poems. And if you're talking about "22", that was supposed to be rap.

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Stone Birds

what i meant is when someone uses poem format for writing (there can be a difference)

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t3hplatyz0rz

I just discovered a rapper called sick9. He is the man.
Anyway. This is the first thing I wrote which I actually like in a while.

Pimpin' Aint' Easy

Do you remember when you were the prettiest girl in here?
And everybody couldn't help, but look at you kind of queer?
And now you're old, and your eye sight is poor,
So you can't tell if they're lookin' at you any more.

If you want my opinion, you don't even have to guess,
It's ten years after you shoulda taken off that red dress.
And now that you're old, you don't get money like you used to,
You don't even care what kind of creep hits on you.

Now that you're old, the world's open to you.
Now that you're old, you can discover who you are.
Now that you're old, you know what is true
Now that you're old, you can discover love, instead of sex.

How many kids were born in your short life?
How many of them died inside you, did they use a knife?
And now that you're old, you don't have no more regrets,
Except you shouldn't have let them take your kids, you shoulda joined the suffragettes.

How many times do I have to say to you before it gets into your head,
It's better to be living somehow than to be the living dead,
Now that you're old, you wish you were in another time,
You say "I want to have a childhood, anyone's but mine".

Now that you're old, the world's open to you.
Now that you're old, you can discover who you are.
Now that you're old, you know what is true,
Now that you're old, you can discover love, instead of sex.

And I won't pretend to know,
Why you haven't run away.
And I won't pretend to know,
Why you haven't run away.
And I won't pretend to know,
Why you haven't run away.
And I won't pretend to know
Anything, but listen what I say,

Now that you're old, the world's open to you.
Now that you're old, you can discover who you are.
Now that you're old, you know what is true,
Now that you're old, you can discover love, instead of sex.

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t3hplatyz0rz

IDK, I think this one is a bit gimmicky. It's making fun of the "wangsta" people I know. I generally think they are the lowest form of life on the planet.

Merry Crip-mas

Yo around Christmas time, I was shootin' niggaz up
Rollin' with my crew 'cuz I know what's up,
Drivin' by, partyin' hard, actin' real insane,
Pickin' pockets, rappin' good for money for my cocaine.
But I didn't wanna be poor no more so I racked my brain,
Then I got an idea to get a slick gold chain.
Hit 'em while they're down, take advantage a christmas time,
Go Grinch, bitch, lynch if you snitch it's a Christmas rhyme!

Yeah, the pimps in the crib say,
Ho ho ho!
Yeah, the pimps in the crib say,
Ho ho ho!
Yeah, the pimps in the crib say,
Ho ho ho!
All the pimps in the crib say,
Ho ho ho!

So we was planin' the heist
To be quiet like a poltergeist
I was gonna buy somethin' nice,
Gonna try to cure my lice
We was goin' through the chimney,
They chose me 'cuz I'm skinny,
And they know that I can shimmey,
If I failed then they'd skin me,
We was gonna strike as the clock strikes
Twelve 'cuz that's drama-like,
Our point of attack was the roof, babe,
Was goin' for the chimney, dat's truth, babe,
Go grinch, bitch, lynch if you snitch, it's a Christmas rave!

Yeah all the pimps in the crib say,
Ho ho ho!
Yeah all the pimps in the crib say,
Ho ho ho!
Yeah all the pimps in the crib say,
Ho ho ho!
And all the pimps in the crib say,
Ho ho ho!

We was dressed in black and blue,
'Cuz you know that's how we do,
But then silent like I said,
some fattie dressed in red,
Snuck up, I said, "You a blood, you dead!"
But this nigga musta known Wu-Tang kung-fu
I was figgurin' I'd go for the chimney and leave him for my crew,
But you take your eyes off for a second and he's all over you
And he taught these deer to fight,
They was kickin' our asses all night, all right,
And he dropped us off al battered 'round the station,
And he said with a voice most full of elation,
"I run the Christmas racket in this town, bitches!"
And at that time my most fondest wishes,
Was that he wouldn't **** me up and make me swim with the fishes.
And the thing he did when you thinin' it was gettin' romantic-ish is
Take his candy cane and stick it up my ass
Couldn't **** for a week, couldn't even pass gass,
Go Grinch, bitch, lynch if you snitch, I got off easy,
Of my crew, I am the last.

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t3hplatyz0rz

Okay, so I might have been exaggerating (that does not look like the right spelling but my spell-checker disagrees) when I said that I think wangsters are the lowest form of life on the planet. That traces back to a feud between the nerds of my grade and the jocks/wangsters/potheads of the grade directly below us. I was squarely on the nerd side. It's nothing personal against gangster culture, or white members thereof, but still, wearing your pants "low" went out of fashion 5 years ago.

The Feast of Bricriu - t3hplatyz0rz - The Feast of Bricriu - SoundCloud
I seem to have lost the notebook where this is, though.
Will upload lyrics later.
Also, I've recently discovered the joy that is mashing up.
http://soundcloud.com/t3hplatyz0rz/sexy-passover
One of my favorite new artists and one of the most bizzare things I got from the library on whim.
I mean... Reggae Passover. How could I not?

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VEGANGELICA

Hey, t3! I especially liked the chorus because of its meaning...someone no longer feeling forced or compelled to interact with others superficially (just through sex) is free to look for love. I recommend deleting "instead of sex" at the end of the chorus, because I feel it is reduntant and makes the meaning over-obvious. The preceding stanzas show the woman is a prostitute, so it is understood that now that she is old(er) and not seen as someone so sexy, she is free to find people who love her for other reasons besides sexuality.

I try to avoid rhyming "life" and "knife" because this may just be the most-used pair of rhyming words in human history, so I feel your stanza would be strengthened by using alternate wording. Also, since "suffragettes" to me means women who fought for the right to vote, I don't think of the word as meaning people who wanted to ensure pregnant women are not pressured to have abortions. I did like the rhyme of "regrets" and "suffragettes," though!



I wasn't sure what to expect, but I know I didn't expect Santa to ram his candy cane up the kid's ass and act like the mob boss of the town in which Santa is delivering presents! Cute double meaning of "ho ho ho." You have a lot of clever and funny lines and descriptions in these lyrics.

I still have to listen to your songs (in your most recent post) before giving my feedback on them!

~ Erica

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