soulmeetsbody12

I haven't written in a long time. All my lyrics are true to life and I'm trying to create my life's volume in an album. Not necessarily to sell, but just to get it off my chest.

ANYWAY, be gentle. Let me know what you think.



Ever since I was a kid I was labeled/
Judged by the color of my skin/
not what's on the table/
I wasn't able/
Too much pain in my heart, baby listen,
So many shots, why they keep on missing,
Always praying for the buck shot,
Don't feel the urge to live,
The feeling of when I got caught,
It was so surreal when they came,
I couldn't believe my luck,
Didn't see the glock to my brain,
Dropped the gun and fell to my knees,
The last thing I need is another felony,
I'm facing five to ten times twenty ki's,
So I grabbed the trigger and I started to squeeze

CHORUS

I sit up late at night all alone,
Why did god put me here without a home
This is the song from the voiceless,
God if you hear me tonight, please ignore this,
I loaded my gun, I'm no longer waiting for you,
Angel of death make way, because I'm coming through,
What would you do if you had to feed your family?
You place me among labor and capital,
The invisible hand had to command me,
F*ck sixteen bars, you cannot brand me,
Cattle to the slaughter, you cannot stand me,
Tossed out of my home when I was a youngster,
Aborted like a child tossed in the dumpster, run for cover,
So I spent my teenage years instilling fear in the hopeless,
Drop top selling H to the homeless,
I traded my soul for excess and uptown address

CHORUS

Flash foward toward the present day at a quarter to two,
The money's gone and the bitches are too,
He sits alone smoking blunts almost every night,
His only release to pick up the pen and write,
His friends are serving life and he hasn't seen em',
They swore if they ever got out, so he fears for his wellbeing,
He knows that life in the fast lane wasn't worth it,
So he becomes religious and prays to be rebirth-(ed)
But he can't deny the fact he turned single mothers into whores,
Stand up dads hit the floor, left his enemies sore, pop pop pop
Three holes through the door, when he hit the streets to explore,
He left his heart in the drawer, like slaves who washed up on shore,
Begging for freedom but he ignored every f***ing thing they started to say,
The trigger delay was long enough for his feelings to convey,
That somewhere his integrity and his heart went astray,
Strangers, astranged to his dismay what he had to portray,
Ironic that it had to end this way,
A single gun shot to the temple on his 23rd birthday [gunshot]

(Damn)


I have not thought of a chorus yet, maybe someone can help me out with that. Hard to do without a beat

POSSIBLE CHORUS:

Three strikes
Three strikes
This is what happens
When you got no love in your life
Three strikes
Three strikes
This is why,
I'm scared to drop the mic

VEGANGELICA

Hi soulmeetsbody,

Your lyrics that you're building sound as if they'll make a very good rap song similar to that song by Immaculate Deception (oops! Immortal Technique!) about the young man who gets in with the wrong crowd to make money, loses a moral compass, ends up raping his own mother, and then kills himself. A sad song, a tale of caution, in which there is fear and regret.

I also think the idea of describing your whole life in an album is an interesting one. I like stories...and true stories the most.

A question about yours: in the first two verses you are singing in first tense (I did this, I did that), but in the final verse you are singing in third person (he did this, he did that), and so I am wondering what was the reason was for the shift? At first, when reading the third verse, I thought you were talking about someone else.

I'm especially interested in these lines
because they let the listener pull back and consider the whole situation the person is in a little more. What do you think of as the "invisible" hand? Is this the hand of capitalism in which supply and demand balance out due to the "invisible hand" some famous economist (can't remember his name right now) described as being at work? Are you referring here to the demand that makes the supply of drugs profitable?

When you write the following in the first verse
I was a little confused about why the person first dropped the gun and then picked it up again. Is he shooting at the cops? Is this how he avoided going to jail while his friends ended up serving life? What happened after he grabbed the gun? It implies he escaped, correct?

I felt your possible chorus sounds reasonable: three strikes and you're out represents (I think) the mistakes he's made in life due to all that he faced (racism, lack of love and human decency) leading to his death.

The first verse made it sound like the person hoped he'd be caught and killed because of his guilt, which finally caused him to kill himself at the end. Is this correct?

Finally, does "I'm scared to drop the mic" mean the singer (you) singing about his life is afraid that if he doesn't sing about his life, then he'll fall back into it and commit the three strikes, causing himself to really end up dead?

~ Erica

P.S. I recommend you ask a moderator by private message to merge your two songwriting threads as is required at MB. This will probably help your songwriting threads get more views...I think people tend to gravitate toward threads that have more views. You can private message Urban Hatemonger for example to ask him if he would please merge your threads.

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soulmeetsbody12

Erica, you are referring to Immortal Technique - Dance with the Devil =)
Amazing song by an amazing artist. "So if the devil asks you to dance you better say never, because a dance with the devil may last you forever."

In regards to Adam Smith's invisible hand theory (wealth of nations), its sort of like that.
Capital and Labor refers to the subservient relationship (mastervsservant) of labor (working class) and capital (land owners, management etc). When I say the invisible hand commanded me it is more of a metaphor or parallel. Invisible hand dictates that supply and demand will shape the market. Essentially things will work itself to equilibrium. Therefore the invisible hand commanded us due to our circumstances, to an equilibrium of that life.

I sing in the first person for the first two verses as im describing my life. By the time the 3rd verse comes, this young man is so beside himself that his soul and physical body are essentially split. You can also think of it as a guardian angel singing the last song, when he kills himself.

The correlation between his guilt in the beginning and his death at the end is strong, but it wasn't just this one event. There are other songs coming to explain what has mounted up to his hopeless existence.

As for picking up the gun, yep. Picked up the gun, fired cover fire and ran out the back door. Friends served sentences and issued a price on his head.

Hopefully that clears things up a bit =)

VEGANGELICA

Oh, you are quite right, soulmeetsbody: I did mean Immortal Technique. Oops!

Ah yes. Adam Smith! He's the one. I'm pleased you knew what and whom I was talking about. I like your use of metaphor in your song, since it adds even more depth.

And your answer did clear up my questions! Thank you!

When you say your lyrics are true to life, do you mean literally almost exactly like your own life? How much fiction is in your songs? (You're obviously not dead, for example.)

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soulmeetsbody12

Well the death is metaphorical , everything else in the song is true.
I use death metaphorically, the only thing that i use metaphorically, everything else is true in my lyrics.
The young man died inside on his 23rd birthday =) and he did put the gun to his head, but never pulled the trigger.

VEGANGELICA

I'm glad he didn't!

I look forward to learning more about your life through your songs. You have a lot to share that is very different from most of my experiences...except the more general one that lack of love can lead one to do awful things and make choices that hurt oneself and others.

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