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Old 01-22-2010, 05:56 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Smile I Will Catch You - New song! :)

Hey guys!

This is my second attempt at songwriting. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. I was really happy at the time and I think it's a nice song for those who need a bit of inspiration or encouragement in their lives. Feel free to change or add anything to the lyrics.

Cheers.

************************************************** ******

Verse 1
Have you ever had a dream to follow, but the road won’t take you there?
Did you ever stand before the mirror and wonder why people stare?
Sometimes in our lives there are moments when we need the strength of each other.
A shoulder to lean on, a voice to speak from, and a heart to help us along.

Chorus
Don’t be shy to lift your head and walk on by, to take my hand and hold it closely.
Don’t be afraid to shed a tear or have me near because, I will catch you when you fall.

Verse 2
Have you ever wanted to face your fears or live life perfectly?
Did you ever wish upon a star and imagine what true love should be?
Sometimes in our lives there are moments when need the strength of each other.
A shoulder to weep on, a voice to cry from, and a heart to feel we belong.

Chorus
Don’t be shy to lift your head and walk on by, to take my hand and hold it closely.
Don’t be afraid to shed a tear or have me near because, I will catch you when you fall.

Bridge
There’s always gonna be a true friend for everybody, someone who will show you they care.
A sister with whom you can share...

Chorus
Don’t be shy to lift your head and walk on by, to take my hand and hold it closely.
Don’t be afraid to shed a tear or have me near because, I will catch you when you fall.

Don’t be afraid to shed a tear or have me near because, I will catch you when you fall.
I will catch you when you fall.
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Old 01-22-2010, 08:02 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Not bad for a second try. Its a really good start i think. I've never actually attempted to write a song, just poems.

But yeah, its cute and adorable and it reminds me of my boo
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Old 01-23-2010, 08:31 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Hi! I really enjoyed your song. At a few songs, it seems a little bit sappy, but not much. Without having a tune to the song, it's hard to get a feel of what it would really be like. I'm just gonna re-post parts of the song with some comments.

Verse 1
A shoulder to lean on, a voice to speak from, and a heart to help us along.
I really really like this line.

Chorus
Don’t be shy to lift your head and walk on by, to take my hand and hold it closely.
Don’t be afraid to shed a tear or have me near because, I will catch you when you fall.
I personal find this chorus a little bit sappy, but like I said, it's hard to tell without the music.

Verse 2
A shoulder to weep on, a voice to cry from, and a heart to feel we belong.
I like this one even MORE!

Bridge
There’s always gonna be a true friend for everybody, someone who will show you they care.
A sister with whom you can share...

This part is good, just a little cheesy for my liking.
I don't in anyway want to put down your song! It's really good, and maybe the parts I'm not crazy about will be the parts that other people like. It's hard to say. It's nice hear something heart felt and, well, not about sex and drugs. Keep on writing.

PS. This song made me want to turn on Lean On Me. That's a good thing.
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Old 01-23-2010, 05:46 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Haha! Thanks so much for your sweet comments, guys! I really appreciate it, I'll have a think about the lyrics and re-post any changes. For now, please check out my newly recorded song, it's titled 'You've Changed' as a thread.

Cheers.
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