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03-20-2011, 06:24 AM
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#21 (permalink) | ||
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Facilitator
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Where people kill 30 million pigs per year
Posts: 2,014
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I like the idea of quetioning whether it is a good thing or even possible to run away from memories that are stalking you. The song takes the perspective of the memories themselves, which is interesting. When you write... "Your memories will never be gone. Don’t try to run, don’t try to hide Cause they still can find you I know you well I know you will keep running And you will keep hiding anyway" ...the first three lines sound as if they are the author talking about the memories rather than the memories themselves talking. I think "Cause they still can find you" should be "Cause I still can find you" to make these lines consistent with the others in the song. The wording sounds a little stilted to me because you wrote "I know you will keep running" instead of "I know you'll keep running." The singer's pronunciation sounds quite good. Only when she sings words that start with "t" like "try" do I hear that she isn't a native English speaker (I assume). Again, my main issue with the song is that I feel the style of singing doesn't match the style of the instrumentals. She could be singing a lullaby. Maybe that's what you wanted, though. I'd prefer to feel like the singer is stalking violently or insidiously rather than sweetly.
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03-20-2011, 09:45 AM
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#22 (permalink) | |
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art is sold for money
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Belgrade, Serbia
Posts: 730
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Thank you for your feedback  I actually like your suggestion for "Cause I still can find you" and will probably change that in the lyrics  Actually, I made the song that way so the vocals would be in contrast with the music; that's what I generally do with my songs. And no, she is not a native speaker but she speaks English almost perfectly
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Last.fm The Music I make http://www.indabamusic.com/opportuni...missions/52856 |
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04-19-2011, 05:03 PM
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#24 (permalink) |
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art is sold for money
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Belgrade, Serbia
Posts: 730
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Not one of my brightest lyrical moments, but, what the hell
I tried really hard to make the music sound ok, so here it is In The Mirror I am the one that watches. I am the savior that stands behind you. I am the one who trusts you. Stand up, let go. I’m waiting for you. Can you see where life is going. You are standing, it is moving. If you sit and just do nothing It will pass you by. I am the one who saw you. You needed help ; that’s why I came to guide you. I am your guardian angel. Put down your mask. And let me help you. Can you see where life is going. You are standing, it is moving. If you sit and just do nothing It will pass you by. You wait for something. What is it that you’re waiting? Don’t wait, do something. there is a way. Can you see where life is going. You are standing, it is moving. If you sit and just do nothing It will pass you by.
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Last.fm The Music I make http://www.indabamusic.com/opportuni...missions/52856 |
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04-29-2011, 06:57 PM
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#25 (permalink) |
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art is sold for money
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Belgrade, Serbia
Posts: 730
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Last.fm The Music I make http://www.indabamusic.com/opportuni...missions/52856 |
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06-16-2011, 06:53 PM
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#27 (permalink) |
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art is sold for money
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Belgrade, Serbia
Posts: 730
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I tried to make an orchestral piece, but I couldn't resist, so I added some electronica and I'm not really experienced with either
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Last.fm The Music I make http://www.indabamusic.com/opportuni...missions/52856 |
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10-11-2011, 06:58 PM
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#29 (permalink) |
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art is sold for money
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Belgrade, Serbia
Posts: 730
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My music and lyrics. My friend singing. He is not too good, thank god for pitch correction software.
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Last.fm The Music I make http://www.indabamusic.com/opportuni...missions/52856 |
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10-12-2011, 05:11 PM
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#30 (permalink) | ||
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Facilitator
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Where people kill 30 million pigs per year
Posts: 2,014
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Quote:
I also like the chorus that has vocal harmony. When the harmony becomes the only vocals at around 1:05, I wish the voice were a little clearer because currently it sounds rather muddied to me. I had to listen to the song several times to understand some of the harmony's words, which I think were a repetition of "She could feel no pain; he made her sing." Also, sometimes it sounds as if the main vocal line surpassed the top recording volume. I felt the song was organized well (with verses and chorus) and I like the short little ending. The main feeling I had, though, while listening to the song was confusion: I couldn't understand the meaning of the lyrics even though I could understand most of the words. Did a woman, running and hiding from a screaming stalker, eventually give in to him, feeling no pain as he made her sing?? That seems strange. At first I thought the song was describing rape, and then I wasn't sure *what* the point of the song was. Is the song describing a "Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down!" situation?  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tie_Me_Up!_Tie_Me_Down! BTW, I like the picture with the mushrooms in the background that begins the YouTube video! That is pleasantly odd.
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Last edited by VEGANGELICA; 10-12-2011 at 05:19 PM. |
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