This Poem Is Probably Going To Go Over Your Head..

mr dave · 12-12-2009, 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bogey_j

stop using confining/reductive terms to describe my lyrics. it's not meant to be deep or plainly descriptive. it just is.

get used to it, especially if you plan on continuing to misrepresent yourself in the future.

so if you're writing about a fish, and it's about a fish, how is it not plainly descriptive?

and if you're presenting it as something that will probably go over most people's heads how is it not a pretentious attempt at seeming deep when you had already determined that you were writing a clear and direct description?

bogey_j · 12-12-2009, 04:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mr dave

get used to it, especially if you plan on continuing to misrepresent yourself in the future.

so if you're writing about a fish, and it's about a fish, how is it not plainly descriptive?

and if you're presenting it as something that will probably go over most people's heads how is it not a pretentious attempt at seeming deep when you had already determined that you were writing a clear and direct description?

I'll post this again since your brain has trouble processing this. I'll even bold it

it just is. its obvious you and me are in two different universes and will never be on the same wavelength about anything.

mr dave · 12-12-2009, 04:56 PM

i don't have any hassle processing the fact that you're trying to back peddle and avoid my simple questions.

here's a pro-tip for the next forum you join: don't assume all the members are morons.

iron9567 · 12-14-2009, 03:51 PM

My friend is a fish
he lives in my room.
his fin is a cloud.
he sees me when I sleep

hmmmmm,
I was going to reply with what i can a courtesy reply to this. But after seeing some of the snide comments you have made to other people on here. You start off saying this poem will go over your head. How do you figure a four line stanza is suppose to go over peoples head. It can be done with only four lines. But you'll have to get a stronger set of metaphors then what you have. Why do you only have four lines also? Why not write more lines to this poems. You make it sound like you're trying to get all deep on us. I'll be honest and say this isn't even poetry and more like paint by numbers that got the colors mixed up. In other words i find this juvenile and you need to try to work on it more.
thanks
the iron man

Freebase Dali · 12-14-2009, 03:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bogey_j

I'll post this again since your brain has trouble processing this. I'll even bold it

it just is. its obvious you and me are in two different universes and will never be on the same wavelength about anything.

Correct.
In your universe, you're awful at writing poetry.
In ours, we realize it.

anticipation · 12-14-2009, 04:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Freebase Dali

Correct.
In your universe, you're awful at writing poetry.
In ours, we realize it.

clean up on aisle BOOM.

storymilo · 12-14-2009, 04:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AwwSugar

Tennis?
I THOUGHT THIS WAS COOKING CLASS.

It is. We're making fish tonight.

iron9567 · 12-14-2009, 05:32 PM

Trust me youre better off throwing the fish on the bank its to bony to get any decent meat from it

HotFunkColdPunk · 12-15-2009, 09:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolverinewolfweiselpigeon

i didn't think "fish" or "jesus." i just thought "shit."

ohsnap.

hahahaha!

Arya Stark · 12-16-2009, 04:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by storymilo

It is. We're making fish tonight.

And what else?

12-14-2009, 03:51 PM	#34 (permalink)
iron9567 musicbanter peeping tom Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 74	My friend is a fish he lives in my room. his fin is a cloud. he sees me when I sleep hmmmmm, I was going to reply with what i can a courtesy reply to this. But after seeing some of the snide comments you have made to other people on here. You start off saying this poem will go over your head. How do you figure a four line stanza is suppose to go over peoples head. It can be done with only four lines. But you'll have to get a stronger set of metaphors then what you have. Why do you only have four lines also? Why not write more lines to this poems. You make it sound like you're trying to get all deep on us. I'll be honest and say this isn't even poetry and more like paint by numbers that got the colors mixed up. In other words i find this juvenile and you need to try to work on it more. thanks the iron man __________________ thanks The iron man I don't want to change the world. I just want to make the world colder then the day I came.

12-14-2009, 05:32 PM	#38 (permalink)
iron9567 musicbanter peeping tom Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 74	Trust me youre better off throwing the fish on the bank its to bony to get any decent meat from it __________________ thanks The iron man I don't want to change the world. I just want to make the world colder then the day I came.