What Do You Think Of These Lyrics?

OceanAndSilence · 12-21-2009, 12:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Harry

I disagree with above posters. A song absolutely does not have to be in that specific order. Sure, a chorus would be desirable, but there is free verse music that's just a story. A lot of country is like that, and to be frank, music is quite ace in that respect. I love a song with a story. Perhaps throw in a repeated chorus or lines somewhere, but the story-telling aspect of it is brill.

did you read my post? i didn't say there strictly had to be a verse chorus pattern.

there are A-A-A songs (a lot of dylans songs)
A-B-A-B (most conventional songs)
and A-B-A-C (with bridges etc)

and then there's songs that are simply 3 separate parts melded, maybe more (think happiness is a warm gun or paranoid android)

Song Structure:<br>Different Types Of Form

this is his first song. gotta learn what the rules are before you break them.

~~Harry~~ · 12-21-2009, 12:52 AM

Happiness is a warm gun, love that tune.
I suppose a vague idea is needed, but I often write free-verse prose without iamibic pantamete in mind, if you know wot I mean. It should have a rhythm though because all music is, after all, is a pattern of sound silence.

brentc106 · 12-21-2009, 05:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by l337m4n

It's more like a narrative or a story more than lyrics (for the first one). I would try to rhyme a few endings even if your screaming it. Try to be less literal, skip unneeded adjectives and small situations like reaching for a glass and replace it with what you noticed or felt.Something like almost dropping my glass when i notice you can affect more that just reaching for it etc. You have a lot to work on like me, but your story telling is good and being more cryptic/less literal will help. Maye get some proactive if your going to be the lead singer :P

haha i already tryed that and my face just grow use to it

OceanAndSilence · 12-21-2009, 06:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Harry

Happiness is a warm gun, love that tune.
I suppose a vague idea is needed, but I often write free-verse prose without iamibic pantamete in mind, if you know wot I mean. It should have a rhythm though because all music is, after all, is a pattern of sound silence.

i wasn't referring to iambic pentameter, your free verse songs are probably A-A-A songs. no one truly uses such close adherence to any song formula unless it's intentional, but most songs are easily categorised using these parameters.

personally i come up with the harmony, rhythm, and gauge "mood" before even applying lyrics, but before i even do all of that there will be some scattered words and phrases here and there in my mind that i KNOW i have to use in my next song.

hmm sorry for derailing the thread, post some more stuff up!

Mick · 12-22-2009, 12:37 AM

The lyrics are a bit corny, although if you're doing screamo then I guess its alright. As mentioned before, rhyming would be good, and also try to keep the lines around the same length, the timing may get awkward if you have like a 3 word line then a 12 word line.

12-21-2009, 12:52 AM	#12 (permalink)
~~Harry~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Leith Posts: 72	Happiness is a warm gun, love that tune. I suppose a vague idea is needed, but I often write free-verse prose without iamibic pantamete in mind, if you know wot I mean. It should have a rhythm though because all music is, after all, is a pattern of sound silence.

12-22-2009, 12:37 AM	#15 (permalink)
Mick Antidisestablishmentarian Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Sydney, Australia Posts: 86	The lyrics are a bit corny, although if you're doing screamo then I guess its alright. As mentioned before, rhyming would be good, and also try to keep the lines around the same length, the timing may get awkward if you have like a 3 word line then a 12 word line.