My first song, any advice?

alexiscastillo · 09-29-2009, 02:53 PM

[verse]
i promised myself, i wouldnt let this get back to me.
i promised myself, this time i'd be strong, but now i see..
that i'm not strong enough for me

[chorus]
i need a hero
we all need a hero sometime
even the strong one needs to cry
i need a hero
we all need a hero sometime
i cant do this alone this time

[interlude]

[bridge]
it feels like everything is coming back now
everything ive tried for so long to hold down
and now the tears wont stop falling from my eyes
because i cant be my own hero this time

[back to chorus]

the end

dedicated · 11-21-2009, 09:28 PM

i like it. a little short, but i like it. what style of music is it?

VeggieLover · 11-29-2009, 02:24 PM

not too shabby... you have a concept that not everyone sings about... it's short and to the point. What you're lacking is a KAPOWW! factor. It isn't totally neccessary since it's a song...BUT if you have one...well you could go from "meh" to "wow" with just a few lines.

I don't have any specific suggestions for you. Sit down and think about exactly what this song means. Then think about all the words that go with that concept. Find a combination of those words that just pops out at you...and wallah! you are on your way.

~~MeAndMyAcoustic~~ · 12-01-2009, 01:59 PM

I think it is great, I would love to hear it sometime

09-29-2009, 02:53 PM	#1 (permalink)
alexiscastillo Groupie Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 4	My first song, any advice? [verse] i promised myself, i wouldnt let this get back to me. i promised myself, this time i'd be strong, but now i see.. that i'm not strong enough for me [chorus] i need a hero we all need a hero sometime even the strong one needs to cry i need a hero we all need a hero sometime i cant do this alone this time [interlude] [bridge] it feels like everything is coming back now everything ive tried for so long to hold down and now the tears wont stop falling from my eyes because i cant be my own hero this time [back to chorus] the end

11-29-2009, 02:24 PM	#3 (permalink)
VeggieLover Music?! Lets boogie! Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: CO Posts: 215	not too shabby... you have a concept that not everyone sings about... it's short and to the point. What you're lacking is a KAPOWW! factor. It isn't totally neccessary since it's a song...BUT if you have one...well you could go from "meh" to "wow" with just a few lines. I don't have any specific suggestions for you. Sit down and think about exactly what this song means. Then think about all the words that go with that concept. Find a combination of those words that just pops out at you...and wallah! you are on your way. __________________ "Not remotely! Because iocaine comes from Australia, as everyone knows. And Australia is entirely peopled with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you."

11-21-2009, 09:28 PM	#2 (permalink)
dedicated Groupie Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 18	i like it. a little short, but i like it. what style of music is it?

12-01-2009, 01:59 PM	#4 (permalink)
~~MeAndMyAcoustic~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 41	I think it is great, I would love to hear it sometime