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-   -   ocean and silence's sentience (https://www.musicbanter.com/song-writing-lyrics-poetry/43881-ocean-silences-sentience.html)

OceanAndSilence 09-09-2009 11:36 AM

ocean and silence's sentience
 
hello, i'm new here. as a gift (YEAH! GIFTS!) i will post the lyrics of one of my songs. i will let you interpret/decipher it.

reflect your reflection
rivulets drizzle to
match your tension

you're no hoyden
yet seek to join them
in despair

..it's something you can't just wish away.

apply your mask
a simple task to
conform a lie

your eyes never falter
a stultified halter to
see you through

..it's something you feel the need to take away.

and while Lachesis hold you
Charon murmurs:
"she's a lucky one"

lucky one
lucky one
etc.

i'd like to know what people think my lyrics mean. any comments?

VEGANGELICA 09-09-2009 09:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OceanAndSilence (Post 732644)
hello, i'm new here. as a gift (YEAH! GIFTS!) i will post the lyrics of one of my songs. i will let you interpret/decipher it.

reflect your reflection
rivulets drizzle to
match your tension

you're no hoyden
yet seek to join them
in despair

..it's something you can't just wish away.

apply your mask
a simple task to
conform a lie

your eyes never falter
a stultified halter to
see you through

..it's something you feel the need to take away.

and while Lachesis hold you
Charon murmurs:
"she's a lucky one"

lucky one
lucky one
etc.

i'd like to know what people think my lyrics mean. any comments?

Hi OceanAndSilence,
Hmm..this is somewhat tricky. I am not sure how many of the words are to be understood literally vs. metaphorically. What I imagine, when I read the lyrics, is a young woman who is unhappy about something that is in her fate (and thus Lachesis, one of the fates, holds her), such as perhaps her appearance or her awkward manner. She is looking at herself in the mirror applying make-up to change her appearance, to make herself look boisterous and cheeky (hoyden), although she isn't...she feels tense and troubled, like the rain outside (or potentially the tears on her cheeks). She knows distantly that she is lucky to be alive, thus the driver of the ferryboat to death (Charon) tells her so, but she doesn't feel lucky? Her eyes never faltering perhaps means that she can carry on with some facade and make it look real on the outside ("see her through").

This is my best guess.

--Erica

OceanAndSilence 09-14-2009 01:10 PM

your general description is correct, just not in the same context. the song's about a family friend, she's 16 years old and she attempted to commit suicide. luckily (hence lucky one) her family got to her in time and she lived. i do not know the way in which she tried to take her own life nor do i wish to know; each person has their own perception of what the worst way to commit suicide is, so i left it arbitrary. obviously she didn't jump off a building or anything... it's also about how many women and female adolescents treat themselves in order to merge into the typical female stereotype. i don't see the point, and i guess she tried but it didn't make her happy at all... so that's why the situation is her staring at a mirror, crying, before she tried to take her own life. i guess i made it a little convoluted, but the message seems clear. any critique on the lyrics themselves? i still can't post links here yet.

OceanAndSilence 09-20-2009 08:40 PM

dreamer, wrote this a few months ago.

my bare footsteps have trodden through the tests
and my feet need rest
from hot coals and stones at the brim
which left me callused at my every reckless whim

the pendulum swoops
i realise too late
i'm struck too soon
dreamer without a dream

time weaving laces, fading faces in the corner of my eye
beckon me towards my future
as the hands move, rough stones turn smooth
the clocks knows this truth; my bones will crumble soon

the pendulum swoops
i realise too late
i'm struck to soon
dreamer without a dream.

[instrumental bridge]

rest for bed, pain in head
i've seen too much, i know too much
the flows of time that knit my life
reveal the sight behind my eyes, they've seen too many lies

the pendulum swoops
i realise too late
i'm struck too soon
dreamer finally sleeps.

OceanAndSilence 10-09-2009 08:22 PM

babel

over centuries we built brittle sheds
now we wander over weathered treads

we fill the cusp of death valley
we wait for the deluge to flow our way

in fractured ruins we ululate, and throw it all away.

Arya Stark 10-10-2009 12:15 AM

I wonder, do you mean to write in lowercase? I really enjoyed Babel. What inspired you to write it?

OceanAndSilence 10-12-2009 08:57 AM

i used to be a grammar nazi on another forum. it got tiring after about 2k posts, so yep i mean to write in lowercase.

the biblical story of babel, the ken robinson speech i posted up here, and aspects of humanity inspired me to write babel... you can see the song on my youtube channel; YouTube - OceanAndSilence's Channel

i want to record a hi-fi version but i'm waiting for my pc to be repaired

Arya Stark 10-12-2009 09:05 AM

It's beautiful.

I like your voice better at the very beginning, though.

FETCHER. 10-12-2009 10:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OceanAndSilence (Post 749809)
babel

over centuries we built brittle sheds
now we wander over weathered treads

we fill the cusp of death valley
we wait for the deluge to flow our way

in fractured ruins we ululate, and throw it all away.

i really like that. the fact its really short, makes it so much better.
i dont know particuarily what it is about it i like, i would love to know so i could give you better feedback, but i dont know, i just find it really interesting :D

OceanAndSilence 10-12-2009 12:55 PM

thanks kayleigh. when i write songs i only try to put in what's necessary within the context of the song, whether it be musical structure or lyrics. maybe you like it because it is open to interpretation? i don't really ever use literal lyrics.

Quote:

Originally Posted by AwwSugar (Post 750893)
It's beautiful.

I like your voice better at the very beginning, though.

thanks. that was when the song was fairly new, i sing it better now. i get my pc back soon, when i do i'll add in some perc/ambience with protools and post up those versions here.


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