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Old 08-27-2009, 06:19 AM   #1 (permalink)
Pic
Groupie
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Pinellas County, Florida
Posts: 8
Default Alright, third try.

Example

"I should be in jail, but not for this crime"


I played hackysack with your emotions,
I swam through your mind like fish swim in the oceans.

Cold hearted?
To put up with you, it have to be frozen,
Broken, Asthmatic, can't breath
So half the time I'm choking..

(Fibber, I got to get her.. Miss her, f***** up how I did her)

But I'm state owned,
To grown,
to blown,
To listen to you lie to me over the phone,

It what it is,
Mouth went to flappin,
Now your solo, raising mutiple kids,
If it would have kept closed,
I wouldnt be doing a bid,
But you chose to try and glow,
Now angel it is what it is.

Is this any better? I'll finish it after a few reviews.


Also response to my last thread,
If I wanted a paperclip I would have wrote in word first.

Last edited by Pic; 08-27-2009 at 06:29 AM.
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